By Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC
Executive Coach | Leadership Development Expert | Author | Speaker | ©2026 | www.leslierohonczy.com
Every day, strangers contact me with exciting news about how much bigger my business could be. Urgent, sensational promises of ten thousand monthly leads, thousands of new customers, and a calendar overflowing with bookings. I try to imagine accommodating even a fraction of that, and wonder what would happen to the life I love and have deliberately built for myself and my family.
I understand the appeal of growing a business, but somewhere in these uninvited, enthusiastic offers is an assumption nobody has bothered to check: do I actually WANT the kind of success they’re selling? That’s the question those pitches have made so obvious for me. Their promised outcome would interfere with the reasons I chose this work in the first place.
What happens when someone else’s idea of success undermines our own?
MY INBOX WOULD LIKE A WORD
Some of these strangers have apparently examined my website, YouTube channel, LinkedIn page, and social media presence in considerable detail. They send screenshots covered in red circles and annotations, as though a formal investigation has just revealed alarming deficiencies in my professional existence.
This red circle brigade is very concerned about my growth. They offer systems to generate hot leads while I sleep, courses to scale my business, and services that promise to fill my calendar, apparently on the assumption that an unfilled hour represents a shameful commercial tragedy.
Nobody has asked what I’m actually trying to build. What, exactly, would I do with 10,000 leads a month? I’m a one-woman band most of the time. I answer inquiries from potential coaching clients, have exploratory conversations, and work out whether we’re a good fit. Even a fraction of that promised volume would create more work than I have the capacity to accommodate.
My coaching practice is healthy, and I’m grateful to work with some amazing Canadian corporations, executives, and senior leaders. Serving them well takes dedicated time and attention, and I’m careful to protect that. If these pitches delivered everything they promised, I’d spend most of my days stick-handling inquiries and less time doing the coaching I love. I’m not willing to buy myself that problem.
WOULD YOU WANT WHAT THEY’RE OFFERING?
Your version of this probably doesn’t involve the promise of thousands of coaching clients. But you may recognize the assumption that ‘more must be better,’ whether anyone has asked what you want or not.
Perhaps you’ve been encouraged to pursue a bigger role because you’re seen as ready for it. You might agree you’re capable, but wonder whether you want all the travel and additional responsibilities. Or maybe you’d like to go deeper into your work and grow your expertise, while the career conversations keep steering you toward what comes next. The offer may be thoughtful and well-intended, and you may even want it, but being capable of taking something on doesn’t necessarily mean it belongs in your life.
Over my career, I’ve spent plenty of time imagining what it would feel like to run my days to my own cadence. When I left my job as Corporate Coach for EDC in 2023, I dove into my consulting firm the very next day. I wasn’t looking for much downtime between chapters, but I was looking for a different relationship with work.
Being my own boss gave me more control. I still had to make deliberate choices about how much work I took on and what I wanted to have space for alongside it.
My work week now starts at 10 a.m. and finishes at 4 p.m., Monday through Thursday. Along with one-on-one executive coaching, delivering keynotes, and facilitating workshops, I protect time to think about my clients’ development and prepare their programs. I also write these LinkedIn articles, and collaborate with other coaches. And my beloved Fridays belong to the recording studio: full days of creativity, music production, play, and picnic lunches as we finish album number ten. There’s also room for time with family and friends, and weekends at the cabin with my husband.
A fully booked calendar is not my end game! I want meaningful work I can dedicate myself to wholeheartedly, within a life that has room for all the parts of it that I love. So far, none of those unsolicited business audits have accurately identified this priority, and I doubt they ever will. But it is crystal clear for me, and it guides my choices about the kind of clients I coach, the partners I collaborate with, and the business services I invest in.
WHAT DOES SUCCESS REQUIRE FROM YOU NOW?
Our choices can sometimes feel hard to untangle. Perhaps you want more time at home, but the role that keeps you away also provides financial security for your family. Or you care deeply about the work but wonder how much longer you can sustain the demanding pace. You can value what your career has made possible and still want something to change. What would you want your working life to look like now?
There’s still value in examining which ambitions remain yours. Do you want the work that comes with this next role? Does the opportunity fit with what matters most to you now, or are you pursuing something you used to want out of habit? You might decide that more is exactly what you want. You might also discover that you’ve been pursuing an outcome that no longer fits, largely because you haven’t given yourself permission to reexamine it.
For me, knowing what I want must guide what I accept; otherwise, the promise I made to myself about my work-life balance gets broken one reasonable-sounding exception at a time. Protecting my boundaries means I ask what a yes will displace. Saying yes to another commitment might mean less time for my client work, or giving up a Friday in the studio. Declining it might mean losing revenue.
Sometimes I’ll decide a trade-off is worthwhile. I want to make that decision consciously, particularly when I’m excited about an opportunity. Work we love can expand just as easily as work we feel obliged to do. I still want to grow my coaching business and do work that makes a difference. But I also want those studio picnic lunches.
So when the next uninvited intruder offers to flood my business with leads, I’ve decided to send them a link to this article. Just not on a Friday. I have plans.
YOUR COACHING CHALLENGE
PRACTICE: BEFORE YOU SAY YES
Set aside 15 minutes with a decision you’re facing: an opportunity, a request, or a commitment you’re considering renewing. Choose something you feel you should want, but haven’t fully examined.
1. DESCRIBE THE LIFE THAT COMES WITH IT
Imagine you’ve said yes, and six months have passed. The initial excitement has settled. Write about an ordinary week: what occupies your attention, when you finish working, and what you have energy for afterward. Then ask yourself: If nobody knew I’d accepted this opportunity, how much would I still want it?
2. MAKE THE TRADE-OFF VISIBLE
Complete these sentences as specifically as you can:
Saying yes would give me…
To make room for it, I would have to reduce, postpone, or give up…
I’m willing to accept that cost because…
The part I’m struggling to admit is…
Notice where you feel enthusiasm, reluctance, or relief. What might that reaction be telling you that your practical analysis hasn’t captured?
3. CHOOSE YOUR TERMS
Your answer may be yes, no, or “under different conditions.” If saying no isn’t a realistic option, what could you negotiate before accepting? Consider the scope, the timeline, or which existing responsibilities would need to come off your plate.
Write one concrete next step: a question to ask, a condition to negotiate, or a boundary to put in your calendar. If the sacrifice is temporary, set a date to review whether it’s still worthwhile.
Finish by completing this sentence: For this decision to fit my definition of success, I need…
Keep your answer somewhere visible so you can check it before you respond. This gives your own definition of success a voice in the decision.
For more leadership articles, connect with Leslie Rohonczy on LinkedIn, or visit www.leslierohonczy.com