Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author
If you had to write your current leadership job description, would it look more like a recipe for burnout? Deliver outstanding results. Develop every employee. Wow the board. Oh, and by the way, still have a personal life. No wonder so many leaders are overwhelmed. But real leadership isn't about doing more. It's about protecting the space to think, connect, and guide others wisely, and that starts with the boundaries you set… and keep.
I know... easier said than done. Let's dive in.
THE INVISIBLE BURDEN OF LEADERSHIP
If you’re a senior leader trying to do it all, you’re not alone. Many of my coaching clients describe their days as a blur of meetings, decisions, endless MSTeams conversations, strategy pivots, performance conversations, and late night emails before bed. They want to lead well, delegate decisions, grow their people, and focus on strategy. But the gravitational pull of "just getting it done" can be relentless.
I'm currently working with a senior leader who came to our coaching program showing classic signs of executive burnout: chronic sleep disruption, decision fatigue from being the go-to for every issue, and the heavy emotional load of being both the informal mentor and the motivational poster boy for the entire executive team. He was expected to guide his peers, champion innovation, and stay relentlessly positive for his employees. It wasn’t sustainable. And it wasn’t healthy and effective leadership, either.
When we explored his patterns, it became clear: he had no boundaries. We spent the next several sessions talking about how important it is for leaders to develop this skill, and how boundaries don’t restrict leadership; they enable it.
WHY LEADERS NEED BOUNDARIES
A healthy boundary isn’t a wall. It’s more like a fence with a gate; it lets you decide what you let in and what you keep out.
Without boundaries, your calendar fills with other people’s priorities. Your mind starts tuning into problems that don’t belong to you, like a radio stuck on someone else’s station. Before long, your leadership becomes reactive instead of strategic.
And neuroscience tells us that when your cognitive load is maxed out, your ability to think strategically and regulate your emotions drops like a stone. Without boundaries, even the most well-intentioned leaders lose their edge.
WHEN BOUNDARIES MATTER MOST
Lack of leadership boundaries are often visible to the naked eye (and to your colleagues) and show up in more ways than we realise. In fact, they often hide in plain sight, and can show up as:
Chronic overcommitment and unrealistic workloads
Micromanaging or difficulty delegating
People-pleasing and conflict avoidance
Constant urgency and inability to prioritise
Blurry role expectations or lack of clarity about who the decision-maker is
Emotional over-responsibility for others' stress or performance
These behaviours are clear signals that leadership boundaries have broken down. By naming the most common categories where boundaries fail, we can start to make clearer, more deliberate choices about what to reinforce, what to release, and what to reframe.
1. Decision-Making Boundaries: Not every decision should land on your desk. Get clear on what decisions belong to you, and what belongs at other levels. If your team is coming to you with every minor decision, you haven’t delegated – you’ve just distributed tasks.
2. Time and Attention Boundaries
Strategic thinking needs white space. Block it. Guard it. And stop glorifying back-to-back days as evidence of effectiveness. The best leaders protect time to think, reflect, and prepare.
3. Emotional Boundaries
Empathy is essential. But caring doesn’t mean carrying. Leaders who absorb everyone's stress eventually become the stressor. Learn to support without overidentifying.
4. Role Boundaries
Are you leading the work, or doing the work? The higher you go, the more your value lies in thinking, direction-setting, and people leadership. If you're still the fixer, you're limiting your team's growth and your own impact.
WHY SETTING BOUNDARIES FEELS SO HARD
While we're at it, let’s name the elephant: what often makes boundary-setting hard is the corporate culture itself. Many leaders work within management systems that reward over-functioning. Inside an over-achieving culture, people often wear their workaholism as a badge of honour ("Look at me! I'm SO busy!").
And as if that wasn't enough, leaders don’t just have to wrestle with their own beliefs about boundaries – they also face pushback from above. The boss who frowns at you for blocking thinking time in your calendar. The praise lavished onto the ones who work late or respond instantly; always 'on'. This creates a culture of conformity, where boundary-setting feels like rebellion or even dereliction of duty.
When leaders are so steeped in this culture that they feel there's no choice but to grind themselves into the ground, what should they do?
Frame boundaries in terms of business impact. (“I block two hours a week to think deeply about our strategy. It helps me bring sharper insight to our executive meetings.”)
Find allies who are also hungry for a healthier way to lead, and have leadership culture conversations with each other. A rising tide lifts all boats.
Get curious about the nature of this culture you’re part of, and what's driving it. What stories are being told about what leadership should look like? Who benefits from that story staying in place?
Remember: your organisation may not change overnight, but your choice of boundaries can influence the system more than you think. Boundaries sound simple, but our resistance is real, because many leaders have limiting beliefs about setting them; that saying no means you're not a team player; that availability equals leadership; and that if they don’t do it, it won’t get done right.
These beliefs aren’t loyalty, and they are certainly not serving you or your organization. They’re over-functioning habits dressed up as commitment. And they cost us trust, team development, innovation, and time we’ll never get back.
THREE STRATEGIES TO BUILD STRONGER LEADERSHIP BOUNDARIES
If you're ready to experiment with boundaries but aren’t sure where to begin, here are three practical starting points.
1. Frame Boundaries as a Leadership Service
The next time you’re tempted to jump in and solve a problem, ask yourself: Am I helping them grow? Or am I rescuing them because it's faster? Boundaries create space for others to learn, decide, and lead.
2. Practice Micro-Scripts for Protecting Boundaries
Have a few simple phrases at the ready, to pull out when you need them:
“That decision belongs with you. What are you leaning toward?”
“I’m booked right now. Can we talk tomorrow when I can give you my full attention?”
“Let’s clarify where this decision lives on our team.”
"My capacity is full at the moment, but I can take that on next month."
Boundaries don’t have to be dramatic. They just need to be consistent.
3. Create a Boundary Map
Try this exercise:
List your current commitments.
Label them: Keep, Delegate, or Revisit.
Then ask: What boundary would protect and ensure my best contribution?
Small boundary shifts create big ripple effects.
If you want to dig deeper, you can check out the resources in my previous articles. Each offers additional practices and insights that complement this one:
THE DELEGATION UPGRADE: What Most Over-Functioning Leaders Get Wrong (and a Free Tool!)
LEADERSHIP STRENGTH AT FULL VOLUME: The Strength vs Overstrength Paradox
BREAKING BUSY: Toxic Productivity and the Dark Side of Hustle Culture
MICROMANAGER DETOX: The Career-Killing Habit You Need to Break Now
HERE'S YOUR INVITATION
Boundaries aren’t just a self-care practice. They’re a discipline of high-performing leadership. Your boundaries model what’s healthy for your team. And your organisation. (And yes, for your family, too.) Boundaries don't make you less available, they make you more impactful.
So here's your invitation: define your role not by what you can handle, but by what only you should handle. Think of your leadership boundaries not as 'selfish', but as the highest form of respect: for your team, your mission, and yourself.
Want to explore how setting healthy leadership boundaries could transform your leadership impact? I offer a free discovery conversation to help you explore how executive coaching can strengthen your boundaries, resilience, and strategic leadership. Let's connect.