THE CONFIDENCE MYTH: What I Learned (the Hard Way) About Building Real Confidence

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

MAY 2025

There’s a weird myth about confidence out there, and I don't have a hot clue where it came from. It's the idea that you’re either born with confidence or you’re not. That some people are just lucky enough to “have it.” And the rest of us…? Well, sorry about our luck.

Like so many of us, I bought into that myth for a long time. And honestly? It just kept me small. Safe. Protected from... what? Judgment? From being seen as 'too much', 'too loud', taking up too much space?

If you’re thinking, "Yeah, me too," you're in good company! So many of us are not born confident. I certainly wasn't! I had to build it, brick by wobbly brick. Through late-night doubts, shaky first steps, awkward experiments, and moments when my inner critic fired up the flamethrower and scorched my ass.

I learned along the way that confidence isn’t something you’re handed. It’s something you create.

Here’s how.

Confidence Isn’t Magic – It’s Motion (and a New Deal with Failure)

If I had waited until I “felt ready,” I’d still be sitting on the sidelines, perfectly preparing. But confidence doesn’t come from waiting. It comes from moving – from taking imperfect, courageous action before you feel fully prepared.

I really wish someone had told me this little nugget sooner: make friends with failure. Not the dramatic, life-or-death, fatal flaw kind of failure. I mean the everyday, small, awkward misses; the times when things don’t land quite the way you hoped.

Early on, I thought every stumble I made seemed to confirm a limiting belief I had that I wasn’t good enough. Now I see it differently: if I’m learning, it's not failure – it's just data. Feedback. An indicator of growth. It’s your brain using that new data to learn, course-correct, and get sharper for next time.

One of the biggest confidence boosts you can give yourself after a stumble is learning to say, "I’m not there... yet." The real magic is in the willingness to reframe, reflect, tweak, and try again.

Confidence doesn’t mean you’ll never fall. It means you trust yourself to get up, dust off, and take a next step, smarter for having tried.

Confidence Comes from Owning Your 'Ness', Not Borrowing Someone Else's

In my early leadership days, I thought if I could just act like some of the impressive leaders around me, I’d finally feel confident. Spoiler alert: copying others just didn't work. Sure, there's some truth to the old 'fake it til you make it' chestnut, but every time I tried to wear someone else’s leadership “suit,” it felt stiff and exhausting, like I was showing up to a marathon in a full hazmat suit.

Real confidence didn’t click for me until I started leading with my own ‘Leslie-ness’ – the gifts and abilities that made me unique: my creativity, ability to connect dots, love of emotional intelligence, voracious curiosity, and powerful questions.

Confidence isn’t about volume, bravado, or mimicking. It’s about alignment and letting your best, truest self lead the way. You have your own 'ness,' too, and trust me, it’s your biggest asset!

Your Inner Critic Isn’t Going Away – But You Can Change the Relationship

Even today, after all the hard work and awareness-building, my inner critic still pipes up sometimes (I call her 'Mimi', after the Drew Carey Show character Mimi Bobek haha!) She says things like: "Are you sure you’re ready for this?" "Maybe you should wait until you’re better prepared." "Don't be so bold! Everyone will think you're a showoff!"

I used to think confidence meant silencing that voice. In fact, I've wanted to throw Mimi into the trunk of my car and push it off a cliff many times! But that never works, because our Inner Critics have an important job: they try to keep us safe by making us aware of something they think we’re not aware of. (They just have a weird way of going about it!)

Today I realize that I don't need to kill 'Mimi', I just need to keep her out of the driver’s seat. When I notice that she is starting to fire up, I picture her riding in the backseat of my car; hands off the wheel and no access to the radio, thank you very much! And I’m the only one allowed to choose the route. (Thanks to Liz Gilbert for this wonderful idea!)

You don’t have to eradicate self-doubt to be confident. You just have to stop letting it make your decisions.

Failure Isn’t Fatal – It’s Fuel

We’ve all heard the term ‘failing fast,’ usually tossed around by well-meaning leaders who want to encourage quicker thinking and braver experiments. It's meant to free us from worrying about getting everything perfect, to help us be more confident, and to nudge us into trying bolder, out-of-the-box ideas. And while those intentions are good, true failure is still emotionally messy, discouraging, and painful.

I understand it differently now: Failure isn’t a dead end. It’s just an unintended result. When something doesn’t go the way I'd hoped, I’ve learned to step back and ask: What part worked? What part didn’t? What did I learn that I can apply next time?

Over the years, I've been steadily building this reflection muscle, and while it hasn't always been easy, it has helped me turn misses into insights and wobbly results into stepping stones. Confidence grows when you realize you’re not fragile, flawed, or failing; you’re learning, adapting, and getting stronger.

Confidence Is a Practice, Not a Personality Trait

If you’re waiting to magically feel confident all the time, let me save you the suspense: you’ll be waiting forever. Confidence isn’t a trophy you win once and display forever. It’s a living, breathing practice.

Some days it flows through you easily. Other days, you’ll have to dust it off and rebuild it, piece by piece. And that’s normal. But every time you step up, even when you’re unsure, you’re proving something important to yourself: that you can handle the unknown; that you can learn as you go; and that you are braver and stronger than your fear.

If confidence has ever felt like something other people had and you didn’t, hear this message loud and clear: it’s not something you’re born with; it’s something you build, one imperfect action at a time; one courageous experiment at a time; one “not yet” moment at a time.

So go ahead, take up your space. Say the thing. Try the new way. Wobble your way forward. The future you (the one who already knows you are enough and that you belong), is cheering you on.

And so am I.

THE DELEGATION UPGRADE: What Most Over-Functioning Leaders Get Wrong (and a Free Tool!)

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

APRIL 2025

You don’t need to delegate more. You need to delegate better. Here's a story that'll explain what I mean.

I was working with a senior VP coaching client and during a discussion about her capacity, we shifted our conversation to the topic of delegation. I told her I had noticed that she was quite proud of her ability to empower her team. “I’m great at delegation,” she told me. “I trust my people. I don’t micromanage.”

Having observed her in action over several weeks during her 1:1s and team meetings, I saw something different: her calendar was jammed with back-to-back meetings; she sent out directive emails at all hours; she regularly worked weekends to fix her team's mistakes, and to catch up on her own work. I also noticed the reaction of her employees, and the impact on her team. Her employees didn’t seem to be confident or engaged and were unwilling to take initiative.

That instinct to ‘do it all’ is called over-functioning – doing the thinking, making the decisions, doing the ‘doing’, then re-doing what was done to meet an unreasonably high standard – all the while believing you’ve 'handed it off'.

My client is not alone. Delegation, and over-functioning in particular, is a common leadership coaching topic. And it doesn’t always look like martyrdom or micromanagement – most of the time, it’s a well-intentioned leader jumping in to help, filling in the blanks, or fixing things behind the scenes. And sometimes, it happens because a leader simply loves the 'doing'. But that pattern comes at a cost – to the leader’s capacity, to the team’s development, and to the overall trust within the team.

If you’re doing all the thinking and troubleshooting, you’re unintentionally teaching your team not to.

Leaders often fall into one of two over-functioning patterns:

• The Martyr: “It’s just easier if I do it myself.”

• The Micromanager: “I know I handed it over, but the output isn’t perfect, so I’ll fix it.”

Both are understandable. Neither actually works long term. So let’s shift the conversation to explore what's driving that behaviour, below the surface.

DELEGATION ISN’T ABOUT 'LETTING GO' OR 'SETTLING'

Here’s a myth that most leaders have been taught: Delegation means taking something off your to-do list and handing it to someone else.

But delegation is much more than that. Real, purposeful delegation is an act of generosity and trust. It’s not just about removing a task from your plate – it’s about staying involved in the right ways.

Let’s look at three common – and very different – delegation missteps that illustrate the cost of getting it wrong.

The scenario: You ask an employee to lead a project review and create a status update to present to the executive team.

Misstep #1: Hand-Off and Hope: You forward the meeting invite and say, “You’re up. Good luck.” They scramble to prepare, unsure of what matters most to the audience or what success looks like. Their output misses the mark, and you end up rewriting the entire presentation the night before. The result? Frustration on both sides and an employee who feels overwhelmed rather than empowered. What’s missing: the leadership scaffolding of clarity, support, and trust.

Misstep #2: Polisher’s Pitfall: Your employee completes their review, creates the report, and sends it back to you. It’s thoughtful, accurate, and 95 percent there, but not quite how you would have done it. Instead of offering constructive feedback or coaching them to close the gap, you quietly rewrite the whole thing to get it “just right.” It may feel efficient in the moment, but the cost is invisible and cumulative: confidence erodes, trust thins, and motivation takes a hit. Over time, your people stop stretching and start playing small.

Misstep #3: Ego Editor: If you’ve ever thought, “I just want to make a few improvements, to put my mark on it”, your edits aren't about quality control – they're about identity and ego. Many leaders unintentionally use editing as a way to demonstrate their value, showcase expertise, or subtly reassert ownership. But the trade-off is that every time you rewrite instead of coach, you send the message that your team’s work isn’t good enough, or that your version is the only one that counts. What starts as helpful becomes harmful. Over time, initiative fades, people disengage, and the team learns that ‘done’ doesn’t mean ‘trusted.’

Now picture a different version of this same scenario: You spend ten minutes upfront with your employee, walking through the context, clarifying expectations, and defining success. When they deliver the work, you don’t rewrite it or put your personal stamp on it – instead, you offer thoughtful questions and clear, actionable feedback that helps them refine, adjust, and learn. You’re not hovering, rescuing, or reasserting your mark – you’re scaffolding. You’re guiding.

When you delegate well, powerful things happen:

• You build trust.

• Your employee gains confidence and capability.

• Your leadership style evolves as you shift from doing to developing, from directing to empowering.

• Delegation becomes less about task completion and more about capability-building and culture-shaping.

This kind of leadership isn’t about perfection. It’s about being okay with 90%, if it means your people are getting stronger, faster, and more confident. It’s about holding the line between quality and growth – and having the courage to let your team take real ownership, even if it’s not perfect. Because that’s what builds future-ready teams. That’s what scales leadership.

To be fair, most senior leaders were never formally taught how to delegate. They built their careers on being high performers – solving problems, delivering results, and executing with speed and precision. These strengths earned them promotions, but once they step into leadership, the very habits that made them successful can begin to backfire.

As a leader, your job is no longer to do the work yourself – it’s to get the work done through others. That means shifting from being the expert who executes to the leader who inspires and enables execution. It’s about creating the conditions where your team can stretch, learn, and deliver, effectively and consistently.

When leaders continue doing it all themselves, they don’t just slow things down – they inadvertently block growth, erode trust, and limit team potential. To lead well, delegation isn’t a luxury – it’s a leadership necessity.

THE EMPOWERED DELEGATION MAP: FIVE QUESTIONS THAT CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING

This simple tool can help you plan your delegation moments more thoughtfully. Whether you're assigning a project, handing over a recurring task, or reflecting on something that didn’t quite land – the Empowered Delegation Map invites you to get intentional.

Here are the four reflection questions:

1. What’s the desired outcome? Be specific. What needs to happen? By when? And why does it matter?

2. What context or guardrails make this safe to delegate? What do they need to know? What decisions are theirs to make? What boundaries matter?

3. What would learning look like – even if it’s imperfect? What’s the stretch zone? What are you willing to tolerate in service of their development?

4. What’s the cost if I keep doing this myself? What’s the impact on your energy, focus, or leadership credibility? And what growth opportunity are they missing?

5. What will I do differently, as a result of this reflection? What new move do you want to experiment with? When will you try this? With whom? What criteria will you use to determine your level of success at this new move?

Try walking through the Empowered Delegation Map in advance of a handoff conversation, or even in retrospect. You might be surprised by what gets revealed through this simple but powerful coaching practice.

BE THE LIGHTHOUSE, NOT THE LIFEGUARD

Effective leaders are like lighthouses. They don’t climb into the boat and start bailing water – they shine a focused beam of light for others to find the hole. They broaden their beam and give enough direction to help the team find their way through a challenging strait. They are steady, anchored, and visible, and they trust their people to navigate with increasing confidence.

The challenging part is that most of us were trained to jump in and prove our value by solving and doing. But empowered delegation means resisting that impulse. It means letting others fumble a bit, so they can build awareness, skill, and capability, and learn important lessons that help them develop. It means learning when to shine a focused beam on something specific – and when to widen the light to illuminate the broader path.

When leaders delegate with clarity and purpose, something powerful happens. Their team stops waiting for direction and starts thinking for themselves. They feel trusted, and they step up in response. Ownership grows. Capacity expands. Leaders begin to spend more time where they create the most value – on strategic priorities – and less time putting out fires.

And there’s a bonus ripple effect: when your direct reports experience empowered delegation, they start to model it too, and before you know it, you’ve helped shift the culture toward greater ownership and trust.

TRY THE DELEGATION MAP – AND SEE WHAT SHIFTS

If you’re ready to delegate in a way that supports your people, strengthens your leadership, and frees up your capacity, download the free Empowered Delegation Map and give it a try. Use it before your next 1:1, during team planning, or even to debrief a delegation moment that didn’t land quite the way you hoped.

You might be surprised by how much shifts – not just in your team, but in your own mindset and habits as a leader.

LEADERSHIP STRENGTH AT FULL VOLUME: The Strength vs Overstrength Paradox

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

A senior leader walks into a team meeting (doesn’t that sound like the opening line to a joke!?), excited about his newly minted strategic vision, and confidently shares several decisions that he’s made. He offers a long list of ideas for reaction and execution, and he poses some powerful questions he wants answered. Each of these things is a quality leadership behaviour. So why does the room fall silent?

Chances are they’re not in awe; they’re overwhelmed.

This is a common occurrence in leadership, but it isn’t a villain story; it’s a visibility story – one that happens every day in organizations where well-intended leaders lean a little too far into their strengths. And the very qualities that earned them trust, promotions, and praise start to have the opposite effect.

This is the strength/over-strength paradox, and at its heart, it is a deceptively simple idea: a leadership strength, when overplayed, becomes a liability.

And yet, many leaders aren’t aware it’s happening until the damage is done. Why? Because they’re doing what’s always worked. Until it doesn’t.

WHY THIS MATTERS MORE THAN EVER

Trust in leadership is one of the strongest drivers of employee engagement and performance. And yet, in multiple global studies, more than half of employees say they don’t feel seen, heard, or understood by their leaders. That’s not just a gap – that’s a chasm! And in that chasm lurks the over-strength trap.

Think of your leadership as a soundboard in a recording studio. Every leadership attribute is an individual channel on the board:

• strategic vision

• decision-making

• humility

• communication

• empathy

• integrity

• accountability

• delegation

• motivation

• innovation

• negotiation

• change management

• critical thinking

• other (your unique leadership attributes)

When tuned just right, they create a harmonious mix. But push the fader too high on any one strength, and suddenly what was once inspiring becomes jarring. What was pleasing is now uncomfortable. What had been clear is now out of phase. And even though the other channels are set at the right volume, it can ruin the whole mix.

Let’s break it down using the graphic below, a snapshot of nine core leadership strengths (there are many others, some unique only to you!) Here’s what can happen when their volumes go unchecked.

STORIES FROM THE FRONT

Here’s where theory meets reality. These five short case studies are based on real coaching themes that have played out in boardrooms, team meetings, and one-on-ones. They showcase the human side of leadership; the moment where a well-meaning strength quietly shifts into overdrive, and the team dynamic shifts in response. If any of these stories feel familiar, you’re not alone – and you’re not off track. You’re just being invited to listen differently to your leadership ‘mix’, so you can make some adjustments, and tune your soundboard accordingly.

Case #1: The Strategic Visionary

Rajesh was known for his powerful strategic thinking. His colleagues described him as “the guy who could see around corners”. His head was typically five years ahead of the others on his team, who were still focused on Q1. His team was inspired... at first. But soon, they started feeling disconnected from the day-to-day realities. When asked what they needed to succeed, one team member quietly said, "I just need to know what I should be doing tomorrow." Rajesh had slipped into overstrength. His people felt abandoned in the present, trying to navigate the complexities on their own.

Case #2: The Empathetic Avoider

Marissa had developed a high level of emotional intelligence and compassion throughout her leadership career. Her people loved her warm personality; she was a great listener and genuinely seemed to care about them. She remembered birthdays, gave ‘free’ days off when they felt overwhelmed, and offered a soft shoulder to cry on when there was trouble at home. She also actively looked for developmental opportunities to offer each of her employees that would help them grow their careers. But when it came time to have hard conversations like missed deadlines, employee conflicts, or poor performance, she froze. Her empathy channel was so loud that it had drowned out her leadership accountability channel. She became avoidant, and slowly her team’s accountability eroded to the point that Marissa’s group developed a reputation for poor performance, which caused her top performers to look elsewhere, and made recruiting new employees difficult.

Case #3: The Humble Underdog

David was seen as a humble guy. He was always quick to credit his team for any successes and rarely took the spotlight. But over time, his unwillingness to take centre stage meant that he was invisible most of the time, which became a liability. Without the willingness to take up his full leadership space, the executive team couldn’t see his impact. David’s team, once proud of his modesty, started wondering if he lacked confidence in them – or in himself. It was an unnecessary distraction from the team’s mission and targets. Some became disengaged, while others tried to compensate by becoming more vocal (with uneven results). David’s humility had become an overstrength that muted his ability for bold influence, and his career stalled.

Case #4: The Delegating Ghost

Carla was an expert delegator. She understood delegation of authority thresholds and empowered her delegates to make decisions on her behalf and take action accordingly. She trusted her team and rarely micromanaged. But Carla wasn’t big on oversight. In fact, you could say she was allergic to it. Bored with mundane operational details, Carla preferred to live in the future, playing with strategic modelling and innovation trends. But without regular check-ins, guidance, and oversight, not only were projects veering off course and timelines slipping, but her people began to resent her, too. To her employees, Carla hadn’t delegated; she’d disappeared.

Case #5: The Motivational Machine

Jorge brought infectious energy to his leadership conversations. He was all about goal setting, giving recognition, and getting people fired up. His favourite expression was “push through”, something he often told employees when they raised concerns about their workload or capacity challenges. He was proud of how much his team could deliver, but as burnout crept in, his relentless positivity became exhausting. The team felt pressured to always perform at 110%, and some began hiding their struggles for fear of letting him down.

What once inspired them became a stress multiplier, and Jorge ended up with three employees on short-term stress leave.

All five of these leaders were doing what they thought was right. And they weren’t wrong. They just didn’t notice when their strengths started working against them.

BEST PRACTICES FOR BALANCING ACTS

So, how do you keep your soundboard balanced when the volume has crept up too high on one channel? How do you raise the volume on other channels to compensate? The following tips are some quick but powerful ways to ensure your leadership is landing the way you intend. These practices are grounded in real coaching tools and everyday leadership behaviours that can help you calibrate your leadership mix.

Make Feedback Normal, Not Formal

Build feedback into everyday conversation. The best leaders are curious, not just about ideas, outputs, metrics, and strategy, but about their own leadership impact. Ask: "What’s something I’m doing that’s getting in the way right now?"

Name Your Over-Strength

Introduce the strength/overstrength paradox concept to your team. Invite them to help you calibrate. It creates safety, builds trust, and diffuses the fear that giving feedback means they’re criticizing your character. Ask yourself: "Where might my team be seeing more of this strength than they need right now? What’s the unintended consequence I haven’t noticed yet?"

Coach the Strength Back to Centre

When a strength starts showing up too often or too intensely, it’s not about switching it off. It’s about adjusting the channel volume. Get back to the core purpose of the behaviour and check in on how it's being received. Ask yourself: "What’s the original intention here? What’s the ripple effect? What would ‘just enough’ look like?"

Use the 3-Point Leadership Lens

This quick tool helps leaders get out of autopilot and into alignment. Every time you lean on a strength, check:

• is it aligned with the mission?

• is it right for this moment?

• is it working for the people?

What worked in the past may not land now, especially in times of change. Ask yourself: "Is this strength in service of the bigger picture – or is it just my default setting?"

Revisit Regularly

Strengths evolve. So should your leadership. Schedule quarterly self-check-ins, and invite an executive coach to help you explore your blind spots. Ask yourself: "What strengths have I been leaning on heavily this quarter? When I pause to consider whether they’re still fit for purpose, what do I notice?"

THE INVITATION

Leadership isn’t about turning every channel up to eleven. It’s about learning to engineer your soundboard. A little more clarity here, a little less volume there. Bringing in the bass line of strategy without drowning out the higher notes of empathy. The best leaders aren’t the loudest or smartest in the room. They’re the most attuned.

When your strength becomes someone else’s struggle – it’s time to rebalance. So here’s an opportunity to experiment: Be in relationship with your leadership strengths. Take the time to listen to each channel in relation to the other channels, and in relation to the overall mix. Notice what needs adjustment, what’s sitting just right in the mix, and what might need a gentle nudge back to centre.

THE LEADERSHIP ECHO CHAMBER: How Lack of Self-Awareness Undermines Leaders

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

You’re in a meeting, and a senior leader – let’s call him Mark – is running the show. Mark is confident. Mark is decisive. Mark is also completely oblivious to the fact that his team is disengaged, his jokes are falling flat, and his ‘inspirational’ speech is about as energizing as a Monday morning budget meeting.

Poor Mark has no idea. Not a hot clue. He believes he’s leading with impact when, in reality, his team is mentally drafting their resignation emails and counting down the hours until they can get the hell out of there.

This, my friends, is the silent dealbreaker of leadership: lack of self-awareness. And unlike poor strategy or bad financial decisions, this one doesn’t come with warning lights or colourful metrics in quarterly reports. It sneaks up quietly, erodes trust, and before you know it, you’re ‘that guy’; the leader people respect on paper but avoid in the lunchroom.

YOU CAN’T FIX WHAT YOU CAN’T SEE

I talk a lot about emotional intelligence with leaders. And we talk a lot about strategic vision, too. But if a leader’s self-awareness isn’t at the foundation of their leadership, it’s like building a house on quicksand; it looks great – for a while – until everything collapses.

Dr. Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist and researcher who found that 95% of people believe they are self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are. That means there’s a whopping number of well-intentioned leaders walking around blissfully unaware of how they’re actually showing up.

And just to dial up the discomfort even more, here’s an ironic twist: the higher up the ladder you go, the harder it becomes to get an honest mirror. Not because senior leaders suddenly lose their self-awareness, but because fewer people are willing to offer unfiltered truth. Power dynamics, fear of retaliation, or the assumption that “they must know what they’re doing” create an echo chamber of polished updates and sugar-coated feedback. Over time, this curated input distorts a leader’s sense of how they’re truly showing up. Not because they don’t care, but because they don’t see what others see. And when you can’t see yourself clearly, you make decisions based on a version of reality that doesn’t actually exist.

SO, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN LEADERS LACK SELF-AWARENESS?

When leaders don’t see their own blind spots, a few things start to happen:

1. THEY MISREAD THE ROOM

Ever sat in a meeting where a leader delivers a long-winded monologue about “open communication” while everyone nervously avoids eye contact? It’s excruciating. A lack of self-awareness means you might believe your words inspire collaboration when, in reality, your presence stifles it. The best leaders understand how their tone, body language, and energy affect others – because leadership isn’t just about what you say. It’s about how you make people feel.

2. THEY REPEAT PATTERNS THAT DON’T WORK

If multiple teams have questioned your “collaborative” style, dial up your curiosity about whether your version of collaboration feels like command-and-control to others. The signal might not be rejection – it might be resistance to a misalignment between intention and impact. Many leaders operate on autopilot, defaulting to behaviors they’ve picked up over the years without questioning whether they actually work. If you keep encountering the same challenges – team disengagement, turnover, low morale – it’s worth asking: What’s my role in this?

3. THEY ERODE TRUST WITHOUT REALIZING IT

Trust is the currency of leadership. Without it, you’re just a person with a fancy title. And the fastest way to lose trust? Being out of sync with how you impact others. Imagine a leader who preaches work-life balance but sends emails at midnight. Or one who claims to value innovation but shuts down every new idea. These disconnects create cognitive dissonance, and over time, people stop believing in you – not because you’re malicious, but because your actions don’t align with your words.

SELF-AWARENESS AS A LEADERSHIP SUPERPOWER

If you've read this far and are thinking, “Well, this definitely isn’t about me,” I’ve got news for you: based simply on the stats, it probably is. So, how do you become more self-aware?

Here are three ways to start sharpening your self-awareness muscle:

1. ASK FOR FEEDBACK (AND ACTUALLY LISTEN)

Most leaders claim they want feedback. But when they receive it, often their defensive mode kicks in faster than you can say “constructive criticism.”

Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Wharton, explains that the best leaders actively seek out and embrace uncomfortable truths. Instead of asking, “How am I doing?” try, “What’s one thing I could do better?” It invites honesty without putting people on the spot. (And here's a cool neuroscience nugget: challenging the brain to find 'one' thing will actually yield better results than saying 'is there anything I could do better?")

And when you receive feedback? Don’t justify. Don’t explain. Just say, “Thank you.” Let it sink in. Reflect on your reaction to it. Find the insights to help you build your self-awareness and then act on it. As Maya Angelou famously said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

2. PAY ATTENTION TO PATTERNS

Do people often say you interrupt? Do your teams seem hesitant to answer your questions? Does your direct report “have another meeting” when you ask for a quick chat?

Those are clues. Self-aware leaders look for patterns in their interactions – not just individual incidents. If the same feedback (or silence) keeps showing up, there’s something to explore.

Here's a useful exercise: keep a leadership journal. Each week, jot down observations about your interactions. Over time, patterns will emerge – ones you can either correct or capitalize on.

3. BUILD A REFLECTION PRACTICE

Harvard Business School research found that leaders who take time to reflect on their experiences perform significantly better than those who don’t. Even taking five minutes a day to jot down, “What went well today? What didn’t? What’s one thing I’d do differently tomorrow?” – can shift how you lead.

Reflection doesn’t mean dwelling on mistakes – it means learning from them. Reflection doesn’t require a retreat or a journal filled with profound musings. Even a few quiet minutes can offer surprising clarity that can open the door to greater self-awareness (the kind of growth that most leaders say they want but rarely make time for).

YOUR IMPACT MATTERS MORE THAN YOUR INTENTION

You might intend to be a compassionate, visionary leader. But if your impact doesn’t align with your intention, you’re missing the mark. Great leaders – truly great ones – aren’t the ones who are always right. They’re the ones who are always learning. So, here’s the tough question: are you actively cultivating self-awareness, or just hoping it happens by osmosis? Don’t wait to find out the hard way that you’ve been Mark all along.

The silent dealbreaker isn’t a lack of skill, ambition, or intelligence. It’s the inability to see yourself clearly. And high-performing leaders make sure they never stop looking.

WHAT’S THE BEST PSYCHOMETRIC TEST TO TRANSFORM YOUR LEADERSHIP? (The answer may surprise you.)

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

As an Executive Coach, I often use psychometric testing to enhance leadership development as part of my 1:1 coaching programs for leaders. Some clients bring past assessment results, while others take advantage of the two that I offer. Last week, one of my clients asked me: “What’s your take on the best psychometric test for leadership?” After years of coaching, and seeing firsthand which assessments create real impact, I have an answer that might surprise you.

Psychometric testing is a billion-dollar industry, promising insights into personality, communication styles, decision-making preferences, and leadership potential. Rather than ‘putting you in a box’, they reveal the box you’re already sitting in, looking at the world. All of these tests offer you more information about the lens you look through to make sense of yourself, and your relationship to others and the world around you. And while each test approaches this from a different angle, they all offer the potential to provide powerful insights, and personalized recommendations for development. But with so many options out there, it can be hard to choose the one best suited to developing your leadership, career, or team cohesion.

Curious to know which one I think is the best? First, let’s look at ten of the most widely used psychometric assessments.

THE TOP 10 CONTENDERS

1. Insights Discovery

Identifies: Leadership style, self-awareness, and communication preferences.

How it’s used: Based on Jungian psychology, Insights Discovery categorizes individuals into four colour energies: Fiery Red, Sunshine Yellow, Earth Green, and Cool Blue – offering a simple, yet powerful, framework for understanding behavior. Leaders and teams use it to adapt their communication styles, enhance collaboration, and build stronger workplace relationships. The model’s accessibility makes it a favorite for leadership coaching and team dynamics.

Benefit: Easy to grasp and apply for immediate team impact.

Limitation: The four colour model can feel simplistic compared to deeper personality models (however I think its simplicity is also a key strength).

2. MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator)

Identifies: Personality preferences, decision-making styles, and work dynamics.

How it’s used: MBTI categorizes individuals into 16 personality types based on four dichotomies (Introvert/Extrovert, Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling, Judging/Perceiving). Organizations and leaders use it to understand cognitive diversity, improve team interactions, and tailor leadership approaches. Its value comes from exploring how preferences shape leadership tendencies and identifying areas for growth.

Benefit: Provides insight into how people perceive the world and make decisions.

Limitation: Often misused as a rigid label rather than a developmental tool.

3. DISC Personality Assessment

Identifies: Behavioral tendencies in communication and conflict resolution.

How it’s used: DISC categorizes behavior into four types – Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. Leaders leverage it to understand their natural communication style and adjust for different workplace dynamics. It’s particularly useful in high-pressure leadership roles, sales, and conflict resolution.

Benefit: Straightforward and practical for improving workplace communication.

Limitation: Lacks depth in assessing motivation and underlying personality traits.

4. SuccessFinder

Identifies: Leadership strengths, career fit, and team performance insights.

How it’s used: SuccessFinder provides highly detailed behavioral data to help leaders align their strengths with career aspirations and leadership effectiveness. It’s widely used in executive development, helping leaders optimize decision-making, productivity, and long-term career strategies.

Benefit: Data-driven with strong predictive accuracy for leadership success.

Limitation: Less commonly known, requiring coaching guidance to help clients interpret results effectively.

5. Enneagram

Identifies: Core motivations, fears, and emotional intelligence.

How it’s used: The Enneagram maps individuals into nine personality types, each with distinct worldviews and coping mechanisms. Leaders use it for deep self-reflection, personal growth, and emotional intelligence development. It’s particularly effective for those looking to strengthen empathy and resilience.

Benefit: Encourages profound self-awareness and emotional growth.

Limitation: Requires significant reflection and coaching support to apply effectively.

6. Hogan Personality Inventory

Identifies: Leadership potential, derailers, and risk factors.

How it’s used: The Hogan suite assesses personality traits related to leadership success and risk factors under stress. Organizations use it for executive coaching, talent selection, and succession planning. It’s one of the most research-backed tools for identifying both strengths and possible career-limiting behaviors.

Benefit: Helps leaders recognize and mitigate potential blind spots.

Limitation: Can feel confrontational to participants if not framed as a developmental tool.

7. EQ-i 2.0 (Emotional Intelligence)

Identifies: Self-regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, and leadership resilience.

How it’s used: Emotional intelligence is a critical leadership asset. The EQ-i 2.0 measures self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Leaders use it to enhance workplace relationships, manage stress, and develop high-performance teams.

Benefit: Strong correlation between EQ and leadership effectiveness.

Limitation: Requires ongoing practice to translate insights into real behavior change.

8. Gallup CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder)

Identifies: Core strengths and leadership potential.

How it’s used: CliftonStrengths identifies an individual’s top talents from a list of 34 strengths. Leaders use it to maximize their potential, align with career paths, and build high-performing teams by focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses.

Benefit: Encourages a strengths-based leadership approach.

Limitation: Doesn’t address potential blind spots or growth areas.

9. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Identifies: Conflict-handling styles and negotiation strategies.

How it’s used: The TKI assesses five conflict-handling styles: Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Avoiding, and Accommodating. Leaders and teams use it to navigate conflict more effectively, improving decision-making and negotiation tactics.

Benefit: Helps teams constructively manage conflict.

Limitation: Focuses on conflict behavior rather than deeper leadership traits.

10. FIRO-B (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation-Behavior)

Identifies: Interpersonal needs, leadership compatibility, and team dynamics.

How it’s used: FIRO-B assesses interpersonal needs in three key areas: Inclusion, Control, and Affection. Leaders use it to improve workplace relationships, enhance leadership compatibility, and align their management approach with team expectations.

Benefit: Strengthens understanding of team dynamics and leadership interactions.

Limitation: Less well-known, requiring interpretation for effective use.

SO, WHICH ONE IS THE BEST?

Here’s my take: The best psychometric test is the one you commit to using.

There are abundant and valuable insights and a-has to be had from any well-designed, personalized psychometric test, no matter which instrument is used. But the real value is not inherently in the results themselves. It comes from the reflection, discussion, and application of those results. Pay attention to any resistance you feel when reading your report. Is it truly inaccurate, or does it reveal a blind spot or limiting belief? Often, discomfort or resistance to certain insights arises from something we don’t like about ourselves, a blind spot we’re unaware of, area of growth we haven’t yet explored, or a perceived weakness that we want to protect from being seen by others. But the areas that challenge us most often hold the greatest growth potential – if we’re willing to reflect, practice, and experiment.

Many of my clients are surprised by the accuracy of their assessments. Even the skeptics have joked that it feels like someone must’ve been watching them for weeks. But no matter how precise the results seem, they’re just the starting point. A test won’t transform you – but what you do with it will.

CHOOSE THE RIGHT TOOL FOR YOUR GROWTH

Different tools will resonate with different people and serve different purposes. A skilled coach can help you assess your development needs and recommend the appropriate instrument that will have the greatest impact on your development investment.

If you’re ready to go beyond the assessment and start applying new insights and awareness, let’s talk. I help leaders and teams translate their results into real-world impact.

Which psychometric tool has been most useful for you? Drop a comment below – I’d love to hear your experiences!

YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED FOR ANXIETY: 6 Simple Questions to Stop the Spiral

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately (and let’s be honest – who isn’t these days), you’re not alone. The world feels like a pressure cooker on the verge of exploding, and even the strongest among us are feeling the heat. Unprecedented levels of uncertainty, political upheaval, economic instability, and global tensions can make even the most resilient leaders feel anxious. But here’s the thing: anxiety thrives in ambiguity. When everything feels out of control, our minds spin stories of worst-case scenarios, feeding a cycle of stress that can feel impossible to escape.

The good news? You don’t have to tackle everything at once. Research shows that our brains can only process a limited amount of information at a time. This is known as cognitive load. When we try to manage everything at once, decision fatigue sets in, making it harder to think clearly or take effective action. By focusing on just one thing at a time, we can reduce mental overwhelm and make it easier to regain control. Instead, you can break it down into something much more manageable; just one thing at a time.

This exercise, which I call the One Thing Practice is like a mental reset button, giving you a chance to pause, assess, and shift your mindset before stress takes the wheel. By answering six simple questions, you’ll create a sense of clarity and control, even in turbulent times. Let’s walk through them together.

1. Name the thing I’m anxious about.

When stress hits, our minds tend to generalize: “Everything is a mess.” “Nothing is going right.” “The world is falling apart.”

But what exactly is causing your anxiety? Naming it is the first step in reclaiming control. Instead of saying, “I’m stressed about the state of the world,” get specific: “I’m worried that the financial downturn will impact my job security.” Or “I’m anxious about how a new policy change will affect my business.”

Once you’ve named it, you’ll notice that your stress becomes something you can begin to examine and explore, rather than experiencing it as an overwhelming cloud of fear.

2. Name one thing I can do to prepare for it.

Now that you’ve identified the source of your anxiety, it’s time to shift into action. What’s one small, concrete step you can take to feel more prepared?

If you’re worried about job security, can you update your resume? Strengthen your network? If economic uncertainty is affecting your business, can you revisit your budget or explore ways to diversify revenue streams?

The message here is that action reduces anxiety (though it doesn’t eliminate it entirely; some anxiety is natural.) Even the smallest step forward reminds you that you are not powerless.

3. Name one reason that it won’t be as bad as I fear.

Our brains are wired to anticipate worst-case scenarios, but reality is rarely as catastrophic as we imagine. Consider this: how many times have you worried about something that never actually happened?

Let’s say you’re worried about an upcoming presentation you have to make to the Board. Your brain is already crafting the script for a horror film: the lights come up, your mind goes blank, and the audience stares in awkward silence as you struggle to remember even one of your key messages. Harsh judgment is revealed on the faces of the Board members and your boss, as they roll their eyes and shake their heads in disappointment. Roll credits.

Your mind might be telling you: “I’ll freeze, forget everything, and embarrass myself.” But in reality, you’ve prepared, you’ve done this before, and even if you stumble, people are usually far more forgiving than we assume.

Challenge your fear with logic. Ask yourself: What’s another possible outcome that’s not worst-case?

4. Name one reason I know I can handle it.

This is where you tap into your resilience. You’ve faced challenges before. You have overcome obstacles. You have proof that you are capable, even when things get tough.

Think about a past situation where you faced uncertainty and made it through. Maybe you successfully navigated a career change, managed a crisis, or led your team through a tough period. You are stronger than you think. And you already have experience proving it.

If it helps to look at others’ experiences and approaches to resilience, think about some of the real Canadians whose examples shine a light on the path forward. Leaders like Arlene Dickinson, who built a multi-million-dollar marketing empire despite early financial struggles, proving that resilience and reinvention go hand in hand. Or Terry Fox, whose determination to run across Canada despite losing a leg to cancer inspired a global movement in cancer research. Or Clara Hughes, who transformed personal struggles with mental health into advocacy, using her platform to champion resilience and well-being. Just like them, you have faced challenges, adapted, grown stronger, and inspired others with your resilience. Your past experiences are proof that you can handle this too.

5. Name one upside to the situation.

Even in difficult times, there is always a silver lining—though sometimes you might need to squint to see it. Finding an upside doesn’t mean pretending everything is great, however. It’s about recognizing that even tough situations can lead to unexpected benefits. Maybe this challenge forces you to develop a new skill, strengthen relationships, or rethink outdated strategies that no longer serve you. What is one possible positive outcome of this situation?

A challenging economic climate might push you to be more innovative. A leadership struggle could highlight opportunities for growth. Even personal setbacks often lead to greater self-awareness and resilience.

This doesn’t mean dismissing the difficulty – it means acknowledging that opportunities often come disguised as obstacles. To help uncover the upside, ask yourself: What new skills or strengths might I develop as a result of this challenge? How might this experience shift my priorities for the better? What doors could this situation open that I wouldn’t have considered before? If I look back on this a year from now, what might I appreciate about what I learned or how I grew?

6. Name one thing I’m grateful for because of it.

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for shifting perspective, especially when stress tries to convince us that everything is negative. Instead of focusing on what’s lost or uncertain, gratitude helps us anchor to what remains steady and meaningful. It might be the support of a close friend, the lessons gained from a tough experience, or even the personal growth that comes from pushing through adversity. Even in stressful situations, there is something to be grateful for. This doesn’t mean ignoring or downplaying the difficulty of what you’re facing. Instead, it’s about finding balance—acknowledging the challenges while also recognizing the positives that exist alongside them. What is it?

Maybe this challenge is forcing you to slow down and focus on what truly matters. Maybe it’s revealing who your real support system is. Maybe it’s teaching you something invaluable about yourself and your ‘wiring’.

Speaking of wiring, did you know that gratitude rewires stress? When we consciously shift our focus to what we appreciate, we break the cycle of fear and reframe our experience.

Putting It All Together

This practice is simple, but don’t underestimate its power. In just a few minutes, you can shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling focused and in control. The next time anxiety creeps in, pause and walk yourself through these six questions. Write them down. Reflect on your answers. Notice how your mindset changes.

One thought at a time. One step at a time. No need for superhero-level resilience, just a willingness to take the next right step. Practicing these six questions consistently helps build long-term resilience, training your brain to approach stress with clarity instead of panic. Over time, you’ll find that shifting your perspective becomes second nature, making you more adaptable and confident in the face of uncertainty. And with this new awareness, you stand at a new vantage point, from which you can take a step in any direction, toward more anchored choices. That’s all it takes to move forward.

If this practice resonates with you, I encourage you to share it with someone who might need it today. The world needs more calm, clear-headed leaders right now, and that can start with you.

Interested in more leadership and mindset strategies? Subscribe to my blog or reach out to explore executive coaching and leadership development opportunities tailored to your needs.

NAVIGATING TRUMP’S TRADE WAR: Grounded Strategies for Canadian Executives

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

In a move driven by short-term political interests, Donald Trump’s latest round of tariffs targeting Canada, Mexico, and China has thrown our economic landscape into turmoil. As markets react, Canadian businesses are bracing for uncertainty and rethinking their strategies for resilience.

But Donald Trump’s trade war isn’t just a policy decision – it’s a disruption sending shockwaves through global markets. Canadian leaders now face an era where economic and political uncertainty isn’t just a possibility; it’s a daily reality. Supply chains are disrupted, key industries face instability, and businesses are left wondering how to adapt in a climate of unpredictability.

This fundamental shift in the way global trade and leadership operate is creating ripple effects of protectionist policies, retaliatory tariffs, and market instability that not only impacts corporate strategy, but also the livelihoods of Canadian families (Canada announces robust tariff package in response to unjustified US tariffs, 2025.

As an executive leader, you may find yourself wondering: How do I navigate this turmoil while maintaining stability for my organization and my team? The good news? You’re not alone. And you have more choices than you may realize.

THE NEW REALITY: CHALLENGES FACING CANADIAN EXECUTIVES

Change isn’t just coming – it’s already here. Many Canadian leaders find themselves:

• Grappling with career transitions and shifting roles as industries restructure in response to new tariffs and market instability, particularly in manufacturing, agriculture, and natural resources (Canadian factory PMI tumbles as tariff uncertainty hits sentiment, 2025.)

• Struggling to keep employees engaged amid uncertainty, as fear of job losses and financial strain grows – especially in trade-dependent regions like Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia.

• Managing organizational change with limited clarity on the path forward due to fluctuating trade agreements and unpredictable policy shifts, including Canada’s ongoing negotiations within USMCA (United States-Mexico-Canada Agreement).

• Facing decision fatigue, making high-stakes choices daily about cost-cutting, diversifying markets, supply chain adjustments, and workforce management in response to the impact of tariffs on steel, aluminum, and automotive exports.

At the same time, leaders must balance financial sustainability, regulatory changes, and technological advancements that are reshaping industries at an unprecedented pace. The ability to stay grounded, agile, and forward-thinking will determine who thrives in this new reality (PwC Canada CEO Survey: Adapting to economic uncertainty, 2025.)

STAYING GROUNDED AS THE GROUND SHIFTS

1. NAVIGATE WITH A STRONG INTERNAL COMPASS

Your past experiences – both successes and failures – are invaluable. Reflect on what worked, and what didn’t. Honest self-assessment allows you to see where your strengths lie and where growth is needed. Leadership resilience starts with self-awareness.

In the face of shifting trade policies, having a clear set of leadership principles can serve as your anchor AND your compass. Take time to revisit your core values. What principles have guided your best decisions in the past? Aligning your leadership with these values fosters consistency, even in turbulent times (see my previous article that covers key leadership strategies in Leading Through Economic Uncertainty.)

2. RETHINK GOALS: FROM SURVIVAL TO STRATEGY

The brain craves direction. Neuroscience tells us that goals tied to clear rewards become habits more easily. Whether you’re leading a transformation or stabilizing your company, frame objectives in a way that motivates both yourself and your team: are you moving toward opportunity (growth mindset) or away from risk (fixed mindset)? The distinction matters.

For example, instead of reacting to trade restrictions with fear-driven cuts, reframe your approach: How can we reposition our business to capitalize on new markets or emerging trade agreements? Set three levels of goals with this question in mind: 1) short-term (adjusting strategy for immediate shifts); 2) mid-term (exploring alternative suppliers or partnerships, particularly within Canada and Europe through CETA, and especially as Provincial trade barriers fall); and 3) long-term (future-proofing your business against similar disruptions by diversifying exports beyond the U.S.). This structure ensures that no matter how unstable the present feels, you always have a guiding vision.

3. COLLABORATE OR COLLAPSE: WHY TEAMWORK MATTERS MORE THAN EVER

Many organizations are still structured around outdated competitive silos. But high-performing leaders know that success is collective. Redefine success within your teams by rewarding collaboration. Shared goals breed stronger, more adaptable teams.

And think beyond your own structure and resources: in the wake of supply chain disruptions, many Canadian companies have turned to industry alliances and local partnerships to navigate the challenges. Consider implementing cross-functional teams that bring together diverse perspectives from operations, finance, and strategy, with external partners and industry advisors, to create solutions that benefit your organization and the whole industry. Look to government-supported initiatives such as Canada’s Trade Commissioner Service (TCS) and expertise from Canadian crown corporation Export Development Canada (EDC) for insights and funding options that can support businesses through this transition (Canada's big banks push for reforms in Ottawa to confront tariff risks - Reuters).

4. THE EMPATHY ADVANTAGE: LEADING WITH HUMANITY IN TURBULENT TIMES

People don’t just follow plans; they follow people. Employees are experiencing economic anxiety and are worried about job stability, rising costs, and business viability. Acknowledge their concerns. Adapt your communication to show that you understand their challenges. Trust is built in conversations, not in directives.

Regularly check in with your team – not just about work, but about their well-being. A simple “How are you managing these changes?” can open up valuable insights and strengthen trust. Transparency about company decisions in response to the trade war can also help alleviate uncertainty and prevent misinformation (See how Canadians are adapting in: Economic uncertainty has 83% of Canadians changing their financial habits, 2025.

HOW EXECUTIVE COACHING CAN FUTURE-PROOF YOUR LEADERSHIP

Even the best leaders need a space to step back, reflect, and refine their strategies. Executive coaching provides that, offering tailored guidance, accountability, and fresh perspectives. Through deep conversations, structured frameworks, and actionable strategies, executive coaching helps leaders:

• Gain clarity in decision-making amid economic and trade instability.

• Build confidence in leading through uncertainty and market shifts.

• Strengthen their leadership EQ ‘super-power’: developing your emotional intelligence can guide employees through financial and operational stress.

• Identify blind spots that may be limiting strategic thinking in crisis management.

Coaching isn’t about fixing what’s broken – it’s about elevating what already exists. Leaders who invest in their own development create stronger, more resilient organizations that can withstand geopolitical turbulence. (Discover how strong leadership is shaping the future in Celebrating visionary leadership at a critical moment for Canada, 2025).

THE CONVERSATION THAT COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING

You don’t have to navigate this alone. The strongest leaders are not those who stand alone – they are the ones who know when to seek support, challenge their perspectives, and adapt to change with purpose. If you’re ready to explore how executive coaching can help you lead with clarity, confidence, and resilience, let’s talk. Schedule a free discovery consultation to see how you can turn today’s uncertainty into tomorrow’s strength. Powerful coaching conversations can make all the difference.

TAMING THE LONE WOLVES: Transforming Cutthroat Competition into High-Performing Collaboration

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

A Team That Should Be Winning (but isn’t)

You’ve worked your butt off to build your team. You interviewed multiple high-flyers, chose a select few who rose above the rest, and hired yourself a highly driven, results-oriented team of rock stars. They’re confident, competitive, and relentless in their pursuit of bold goals. Congratulations! On paper, it’s a recipe for record-breaking success.

And yet…

Month after month, instead of celebrating big wins, they miss their targets, and you’re spending your already-squeezed time playing referee in a never-ending cycle of infighting, back-channeling, posturing, and finger-pointing. You’re frustrated. Opportunities are slipping through the cracks. Turnover is up, which means you’ll have to go back out there again, in search of your next unicorn.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Many teams suffer from a ‘lone wolf’ culture, where individuals operate as fiercely independent agents, more focused on personal wins than collective success. While competition can be a powerful motivator, unchecked rivalry can be fatal. When team members view each other as threats rather than allies, trust erodes, collaboration disappears, and opportunities are lost.

The good news? It doesn’t have to be this way. You can harness that competitive energy and channel it toward team-wide success.

Why Lone Wolf Cultures Persist

Before we dive into solutions, let’s look at why this problem exists in the first place. Lone wolf cultures often emerge because:

1. Incentive Structures That Reward Individual Wins: When promotions, bonuses, and recognition are tied exclusively to individual performance, team members naturally strive for personal success over team outcomes, and efforts to work together may be seen as a distraction or nuisance, rather than a strategic advantage. If leaders don’t actively reward collective achievements over personal achievements, the message you’re sending is clear: winning alone matters more than winning together. Over time, this breeds a cutthroat environment where employees guard their insights, resist collaborating and knowledge-sharing, and view colleagues as competitors rather than allies.

2. Lack of Shared Goals: When success is measured solely by individual KPIs, team members naturally prioritize their own objectives over the broader mission. Without well-defined team goals that require collaboration, individual priorities often clash, inefficiencies rise, and friction becomes inevitable. And don’t kid yourself into thinking that having a few collective goals is enough. If most of the leader’s is focus is on individual targets, employees chase personal wins, often at the expense of the organization’s success. It’s not intentional; it’s human nature. High-performing teams don’t just coexist; they work toward a shared vision that unites individual efforts into a cohesive, results-driven force.

3. Lack of Accountability: And, while we’re on the topic of KPIs and metrics, let’s also look at KBIs: key behavioural indicators. When accountability rests solely on the leader’s shoulders to hold employees accountable, team dynamics suffer. Without clear expectations for team members to hold each other accountable in a constructive way, small frustrations fester into major conflicts. Instead of open, solution-focused conversations, tensions simmer beneath the surface, fueling competition, blame, and disengagement.

4. Scarcity Mindset: When employees believe opportunities, recognition, or resources are in short supply, they default to a survival mode of competition. In environments where promotions are rare, leadership roles are limited, or high-value projects are assigned to a select few, employees can feel pressured to outshine rather than collaborate. This scarcity-driven competition often leads to posturing, hoarding information, withholding support, and prioritizing personal advantage over team cohesion. Without a culture that reinforces abundance (where success is not a zero-sum game), trust erodes and true collaboration becomes nearly impossible.

5. Poor Leadership Reinforcement: Even well-intentioned leaders can inadvertently fuel a lone-wolf culture by rewarding individual achievement over collective success. If company leaders consistently celebrate top performers without acknowledging the team effort behind them, they reinforce a mindset of ‘everyone for themselves.’ And leaders who fail to model collaboration (eg: making unilateral decisions, keeping information siloed, or playing favorites) send a message that teamwork is secondary to individual success. To foster a culture of cooperation, be intentional about how you recognize and reinforce behaviors that strengthen, rather than divide, the team.

6. Fear of Losing Control: Some employees see their expertise, knowledge, or unique skills as their competitive advantage – and resist helping each other succeed because sharing assets feels like a direct threat to their success. Whether it’s withholding key insights, avoiding feedback or mentorship, or resisting teamwork, individuals who fear losing their edge often isolate themselves, unintentionally weakening the team’s overall effectiveness. This fear-driven behavior not only stifles innovation; it also creates an unhealthy dynamic where personal protectionism overrides collective problem-solving. To break this cycle, organizations must emphasize psychological safety – where sharing expertise is seen as a strength, not a risk.

The Cost of a Lone Wolf Culture

A hyper-competitive, cutthroat environment might sound like a high-performance culture to some, but in reality, it can have severe consequences to your bottom line and corporate reputation. Teams that operate in silos often miss out on significant opportunities that are only possible through cross-functional collaboration. Without a cohesive approach, projects stagnate, innovation suffers, and major deals or game-changing breakthroughs slip through the cracks.

Beyond lost opportunities, think about what a slog it is to come to work every day in a culture of lone wolves. Individuals prioritize their own success over the team's; distrust grows along with a toxic work environment; constant infighting, backstabbing, showboating; lack of transparency; and an atmosphere of stress and resentment. No wonder burnout and turnover rates are higher in lone wolf teams. Leaders can find themselves caught in a never-ending cycle of conflict resolution and recruiting, rather than focusing their valuable time on strategic initiatives and growth.

A fragmented team also confuses your clients and stakeholders. When different team members present conflicting strategies or undermine each other, it affects the credibility of the whole team – and its leader. This inconsistency damages trust and can result in lost business and diminished reputation.

Ultimately, a lone wolf culture doesn’t just hinder individual performance, it can cripple an entire organization.

Breaking the Lone Wolf Mentality: Leadership Strategies for Change

Surprise! There’s no quick fix! If your team is stuck in a lone wolf mentality, changing it will require deliberate, overt, and consistent shifts over time: in mindset, structure, and leadership approach.

The first step is redefining success. Instead of measuring performance purely through individual KPIs (key performance indicators), establish shared team goals that reward collective achievements. Celebrating wins as a team fosters a sense of unity and reinforces the idea that success is not a zero-sum game. Leaders should publicly recognize collaborative efforts, highlighting how teamwork contributes to overall success.

BCE Inc., Canada's largest communications company, introduced a comprehensive recognition program in 2021 that celebrated achievements within departments and teams to acknowledge collaborative efforts and foster a culture where teamwork is integral to success. And Canadian athletic apparel and accessories giant Lululemon Athletica implemented a team-based cash bonus program to reward groups for reaching store-specific goals, incentivizing collective performance while strengthening team cohesion and aligning individual efforts with broader organizational objectives.

Beyond KPIs, include a set of KBIs in your performance dashboard: Key Behavioural Indicators. What behaviours will you watch for to let you know your team culture is healthy, employees are engaged, motivated, focused on the right things, and interpreting your strategy and objectives the way you intended? (Check out my ‘Coaching Minute’ video on Key Behavioural Indicators.)

Adjusting incentives and recognition structures is a crucial step in the strategy. Implementing team-based bonuses, peer-nominated awards for collaboration, and recognizing those who contribute to a project rather than just those who close the deal can reshape workplace dynamics. When employees see tangible rewards for working together, mentoring each other, and receiving straightforward feedback that helps them succeed, they become more inclined to share knowledge and resources.

Leadership also plays a pivotal role in shifting the team's mindset. The narrative must change from celebrating individual top performers to spotlighting collaborative successes. Be relentless in looking for ways to reinforce this message. Talk about it at cross-functional meetings, open forums for sharing strategies, and 1:1 coaching sessions focused on EQ growth and career development. As a leader, modeling this behavior by demonstrating your openness, cooperation, and a commitment to collective growth at every opportunity, helps your team adapt to the ‘new way we do things around here now'.

Cultivating a culture of trust is another essential element. Transparency is key – giving employees visibility into projects, expectations, decision-making processes – and even the performance ratings process – helps eliminate secrecy and encourages open dialogue. Group Coaching, Peer Coaching, and Mentorship programs can also bridge gaps between team members, fostering knowledge-sharing and reducing territorial behavior. Addressing conflicts quickly and constructively reinforces the expectation that undermining others will not be tolerated. Equip your employees with training, coaching, and frequent opportunities to practice the ideal team behaviours.

Healthy competition doesn’t have to be eliminated – it just needs to be reframed. Gamifying collaboration through contests that reward joint efforts, rotating leadership roles to prevent hoarding of responsibilities, and creating team challenges can maintain motivation while promoting unity. Providing training on the value of collective intelligence can further reinforce why working together is more powerful than operating alone.

What the Research Says About Collaborative Teams

A recent Harvard Business Review study found that companies with strong collaboration cultures outperform their competitors by 27% in revenue growth. Another study by the Corporate Leadership Council revealed that top-performing teams spend 50% more time sharing best practices than their lower-performing counterparts. And a 2022 study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that teams engaging in collaborative problem-solving exhibited a 20% increase in performance metrics compared to those working individually. A 2023 report by Deloitte highlighted that organizations fostering a culture of collaboration were five times more likely to experience high performance.

The message is clear: Teams that work together, win together.

Turning Lone Wolves into a Winning Pack

A fiercely competitive team may look strong on the surface, but if they’re constantly undermining each other, they’re losing more than they’re winning. The highest-performing teams aren’t just a collection of individual stars – they’re a well-oiled machine that balances competition with collaboration.

As a leader, your role isn’t just to drive numbers – it’s to build a sustainable, high-performing culture. That means shifting the narrative from ‘me vs. them’ to ‘us vs. the challenge.’ It means rewarding teamwork as much as individual success. And it means leading by example.

The lone wolf era is over. It’s time to build a pack that wins together.

Need Help Shifting Your Team Culture?

If your team is struggling with internal competition and missed targets, let’s talk. As an executive coach specializing in leadership development and team dynamics, I help leaders build high-performing team cultures that drive results. Schedule a consultation today at www.leslierohonczy.com.

LEADING THROUGH ECONOMIC UNCERTAINTY

Strengthening Our Canadian Leadership Mindset

LESLIE ROHONCZY, IMC™, PCC, Executive Leadership Coach | FEBRUARY 2025

I’ve noticed a shift in the focus of many of my executive coaching clients in the past several weeks. Because the global business and political landscape is evolving so rapidly, and even erratically at times, Canadian executives and senior leaders are wrestling with next-level economic uncertainty.

While this current crisis may feel familiar in some ways to the economic challenges that we experienced during the COVID-19 global health crisis a few years back, this is significantly different. During Covid, we faced a common threat that united industries and nations. Specifically, Canada and our U.S. counterparts were in the Covid battle together; brothers and sisters, fighting side by side as members of the same family; looking out for one another. Doesn’t it feel like that was light-years ago?

Our current economic pressures, shifting trade policies, political changes, and global instability demand a mindset shift so significant that it will define not just the future of our businesses, but the resilience of Canada’s economy itself. And while these changes bring risks, they also present tremendous opportunities: greater clarity, adaptability, and strength – as individual leaders, as Canadian organizations, and as a nation.

Using Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory as a framework, let’s look at leadership mindset across four critical perspectives of the Integral Quadrants model: Action, Systems, Relationships, and Values.

1. ACTION: Embracing Agility, Accountability, and Ownership

Uncertainty can be paralyzing, but it’s time for leaders to lean into action. The question isn’t if the landscape will change – it’s how fast and how well we adapt. We don’t have the luxury of waiting for complete clarity before we act.

Key Mindset Shifts:

• Control the Controllable: Instead of fixating on external forces like tariffs or supply chain disruptions, focus on what you can control – efficiency, innovation, and strategic positioning.

• Act Before You’re Ready: Take calculated risks and iterate quickly rather than waiting for perfect conditions.

• Adopt a Learning Mentality: Every challenge presents an opportunity for reinvention. Embrace experimentation and learning to drive transformation. Try experimenting with reframing the challenge as a chance to develop local manufacturing partnerships, lobby for inter-provincial trade reforms, reduce reliance on foreign supply chains, and strengthen your industry.

Executive Coaching Reflection Questions:

1. What assumptions about the future might be limiting my options, and how can I reframe them to uncover new opportunities?

2. How will we challenge those assumptions to uncover new opportunities?

2. SYSTEMS: Thinking in Complexity, Acting with Precision

Uncertainty requires leaders to step back and see the broader system at play – political forces, economic trends, industry shifts – and make data-informed but decisive moves.

Key Mental Models:

• Zoom Out, Then Zoom In: Toggle between macro and micro views. Analyze global trends but translate insights into specific, actionable decisions.

• Decisiveness Over Perfection: Waiting for perfect data leads to stagnation. Instead, make high-probability bets based on emerging patterns.

• Scenario Thinking as a Superpower: Plan for multiple outcomes to give you an edge when volatility strikes. For example, when you recognize that your traditional supply chains are fragile, experiment with AI-driven forecasting and diversifying supplier regions, to help you transform uncertainty into a competitive edge.

Executive Coaching Reflection Questions:

1. How am I balancing immediate pressures with long-term strategic vision, when making decisions?

2. What evidence, criteria, or data points do I typically rely on?

3. What other information might I explore to gain a fuller perspective?

3. RELATIONSHIPS: Leading with Emotional Intelligence and Stability

Markets fluctuate, but people are the heart of your business. Whether it’s your employees, your customers, or your stakeholders, they are all navigating this uncertainty along with you, and this is your opportunity to provide calm, transparent, and values-driven guidance.

Key Leadership Attitudes:

• Transparency Builds Trust: Uncertainty is unsettling, but withholding information is worse. Leaders who share challenges openly build credibility and loyalty. Be as transparent as you are able, without putting your team or company at risk.

• Empathy Over Authority: Instead of just driving performance, seek to identify and understand the emotional toll of this uncertainty. From that vantage point, lead with humanity. Employees and customers are loyal to leaders and companies who care about their well-being.

• Confidence Without False Promises: As employees and investors look to you for assurance, demonstrate your confidence while staying honest about challenges. If you’re facing supply shortages, lead with radical transparency – openly communicate challenges while directing the pivot to Canadian suppliers. This is likely to increase customer trust, build stronger employee engagement, and strengthen your reputation for integrity.

Executive Coaching Reflection Questions:

1. How am I fostering trust and psychological safety within my leadership team and through my organization?

2. Am I sharing with enough transparency, and how do I know what’s ‘enough’?

4. VALUES: Leading with Purpose and Resilience During Uncertainty

At its core, leadership is about more than just profitability – it’s about principles. In times of upheaval, strong leaders ground themselves in what truly matters.

Key Leadership Principles:

• Commit to National Resilience: Investing in Canadian talent, manufacturing, and innovation isn’t just patriotic – it’s smart business.

• Lead with Long-Term Ethics: In a crisis, the temptation is to focus on short-term survival. Strong, resilient leaders make decisions that align with their values and their company’s legacy.

• Champion Collective Strength: Uncertainty is best navigated through partnership, not isolation. Industry collaboration strengthens national stability. Instead of outsourcing to the U.S., invest in a Canadian R&D hub – securing government incentives and attracting top talent to future-proof your company while reinforcing Canada’s innovation economy.

Executive Coaching Reflection Question:

1. What are the foundational core values of my business?

2. How are my decisions reinforcing my core values and long-term vision?

3. What upcoming decisions may create pressure on my core values? How will I prepare mitigants for that?

Strengthening Leadership Mindset in Uncertain Times

While uncertainty is challenging, it is also an opportunity to refine and grow your leadership. By cultivating a mindset of adaptability, strategic thinking, emotional intelligence, and purpose-driven leadership, you can guide your business – and Canada – toward a more resilient future.

Want to strengthen your leadership resilience and impact in the face of uncertainty? Executive coaching is a powerful tool in developing the clarity, confidence, and strategic insight to thrive in an evolving landscape. Schedule a discovery call with Leslie Rohonczy today to explore how executive coaching can help you lead with confidence.

WHEN THE LADDER BREAKS: Four Pillars of Career Transition

Turning Turbulence Into Opportunity

Career transitions are among the most challenging moments in our professional journey. Whether we’re stepping into a new role, considering a significant pivot, or facing the unexpected disruption of being let go, the emotional and practical demands can feel overwhelming. And on top of all that, the uncertainty of “what is,” the grief of “what was,” and the fear of “what’s scary” often collide, leaving us unsure how to move forward into “what’s next”.

This is why I created the Career Transition Model. Grounded in four core qualities – Curiosity, Compassion, Courage, and Honesty – this framework provides a structured, human-centered approach to navigating the complexities of career change. By focusing on each section of this model, we can transform a tumultuous experience into an opportunity for clarity, growth, and meaningful next steps.

Let’s explore the model in depth and uncover the benefits of focusing on each element in the transition.

1. COMPASSION: Accepting "What Is"

This is a tough time – it’s time to be gentle with yourself. When faced with career disruption, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions: grief, frustration, shame, or even anger. Compassion invites us to sit with these feelings without judgment. Instead of rushing to act or denying our emotions, this stage encourages us to:

• Acknowledge and honor what we’re feeling.

• Give ourselves the grace to process our grief or disappointment.

• Treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would extend to a friend.

Compassion is about being present with our reality, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. It’s the foundation for healing and ensures that our next steps come from a grounded and intentional place. Compassion creates space for emotional processing and clarity, reduces self-criticism, promotes self-acceptance, and prevents burnout by prioritizing emotional well-being.

2. HONESTY: Reflecting on "What Was"

Transitions are an opportunity to reflect on the past with clarity and honesty. This doesn’t mean dwelling on what went wrong, but rather assessing what worked and what didn’t in our previous role or career, so that we can identify limiting beliefs, behaviour patterns, strengths to be leveraged, and areas for growth to close gaps. It required us to ask ourselves tough but valuable questions like: “What lessons can I carry forward?” “What was I good at that I want to do more of?” “What gaps do I need to address?”

Honesty with ourselves – or what I like to call ‘accurate self-assessment’ – requires us to reflect on our past performance and engagement, so that we can move forward with a deeper understanding of what we need in order to thrive in our next chapter. This level of honestly with ourselves is a key step in the process because it promotes self-awareness and growth, provides clarity on what’s truly important to us, helps us identify gaps to be closed, and aligns our next steps with our values.

3. COURAGE: Facing "What’s Scary"

Fear often accompanies career transitions. The fear of failure, rejection, or making the wrong decision can feel paralyzing. Courage is about acknowledging our fears, leaning into them, and taking action that helps us overcome them. It’s about asking ourselves: “What am I afraid will happen?”, “What risks am I willing to take to move forward?” “What do I need to have / feel / believe in order to face this uncertainty with resilience?” “What’s one small step I can take today to address my biggest fear?”

Courage doesn’t mean eliminating fear; it means not letting fear dictate our choices. By taking small, intentional steps, we build momentum and confidence, even in the face of uncertainty. Acting with courage empowers us to take action despite our fear, builds resilience and confidence over time, and helps us confront challenges head-on, rather than avoiding them.

4. CURIOSITY: Exploring "What’s Next"

Curiosity invites us to lean into the unknown with a sense of openness and possibility. Rather than viewing this transition solely as a loss, curiosity encourages us to ask, “What opportunities might this open up for me?” “What have I always wanted to explore but haven’t had the chance to?” “What skills or passions can I leverage in new ways?”

This mindset shift allows us to see beyond the immediate turbulence and imagine our ideal state, and the potential of what could be. Curiosity is not about having all the answers – it’s about giving ourselves permission to wonder and explore, and cultivating the courage to dream without the pressure of immediate certainty. Maintaining our curiosity through this process encourages creative thinking and new possibilities, helps us shift from a reactive to a proactive mindset, and opens doors to opportunities we might not have considered before.

THE POWER OF INTEGRATION: The Intersections of the Model

Here’s where the Career Transition Model gets exciting: the intersections between these four qualities take us deeper, where meaningful action and transformation happen:

• COMPASSION + COURAGE = Process your grief and other uncomfortable emotions before acting.

• COURAGE + HONESTY = Self-reflect and identify the changes you want to make.

• HONESTY + CURIOSITY = Consider how you will close the gaps you’ve identified, and what you’ll need in your next role.

• CURIOSITY + COMPASSION = Combine expansive thinking with self-compassion as you dream boldly, and right-size what’s next.

WHY COACHING MATTERS DURING CAREER TRANSITIONS

It can be challenging to navigate career transitions alone. Working with an Executive Coach to help guide you in navigating the Career Transition Model can provide a deeply transformative, supportive, and human-centered program.

Executive coaching provides:

• A safe, judgment-free space to explore your emotions and aspirations.

• Tailored strategies and support to help you stay focused and grounded.

• Practical tools and accountability to move forward with confidence.

If you’re navigating a career transition, coaching can help turn uncertainty into clarity and fear into opportunity. Whether you’re an executive seeking career guidance, or an HR professional looking to support an exiting employee, this model and coaching approach can make a transformative difference.

Career transitions are rarely easy, but they don’t have to define us. By focusing on Curiosity, Compassion, Courage, and Honesty, we can navigate this time with resilience, intention, and hope. The Career Transition Model is a roadmap through the turbulence, helping you emerge stronger, wiser, and ready for what’s next.

If you’re ready to take the next step or want to offer meaningful support toy our team, let’s connect.

For more information on executive coaching or to explore how this model can support you or your team, contact me at www.leslierohonczy.com.

#CareerTransition #ExecutiveCoaching #LeadershipDevelopment #GrowthMindset #HRSupport