THE CONFIDENCE MYTH: What I Learned (the Hard Way) About Building Real Confidence

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

MAY 2025

There’s a weird myth about confidence out there, and I don't have a hot clue where it came from. It's the idea that you’re either born with confidence or you’re not. That some people are just lucky enough to “have it.” And the rest of us…? Well, sorry about our luck.

Like so many of us, I bought into that myth for a long time. And honestly? It just kept me small. Safe. Protected from... what? Judgment? From being seen as 'too much', 'too loud', taking up too much space?

If you’re thinking, "Yeah, me too," you're in good company! So many of us are not born confident. I certainly wasn't! I had to build it, brick by wobbly brick. Through late-night doubts, shaky first steps, awkward experiments, and moments when my inner critic fired up the flamethrower and scorched my ass.

I learned along the way that confidence isn’t something you’re handed. It’s something you create.

Here’s how.

Confidence Isn’t Magic – It’s Motion (and a New Deal with Failure)

If I had waited until I “felt ready,” I’d still be sitting on the sidelines, perfectly preparing. But confidence doesn’t come from waiting. It comes from moving – from taking imperfect, courageous action before you feel fully prepared.

I really wish someone had told me this little nugget sooner: make friends with failure. Not the dramatic, life-or-death, fatal flaw kind of failure. I mean the everyday, small, awkward misses; the times when things don’t land quite the way you hoped.

Early on, I thought every stumble I made seemed to confirm a limiting belief I had that I wasn’t good enough. Now I see it differently: if I’m learning, it's not failure – it's just data. Feedback. An indicator of growth. It’s your brain using that new data to learn, course-correct, and get sharper for next time.

One of the biggest confidence boosts you can give yourself after a stumble is learning to say, "I’m not there... yet." The real magic is in the willingness to reframe, reflect, tweak, and try again.

Confidence doesn’t mean you’ll never fall. It means you trust yourself to get up, dust off, and take a next step, smarter for having tried.

Confidence Comes from Owning Your 'Ness', Not Borrowing Someone Else's

In my early leadership days, I thought if I could just act like some of the impressive leaders around me, I’d finally feel confident. Spoiler alert: copying others just didn't work. Sure, there's some truth to the old 'fake it til you make it' chestnut, but every time I tried to wear someone else’s leadership “suit,” it felt stiff and exhausting, like I was showing up to a marathon in a full hazmat suit.

Real confidence didn’t click for me until I started leading with my own ‘Leslie-ness’ – the gifts and abilities that made me unique: my creativity, ability to connect dots, love of emotional intelligence, voracious curiosity, and powerful questions.

Confidence isn’t about volume, bravado, or mimicking. It’s about alignment and letting your best, truest self lead the way. You have your own 'ness,' too, and trust me, it’s your biggest asset!

Your Inner Critic Isn’t Going Away – But You Can Change the Relationship

Even today, after all the hard work and awareness-building, my inner critic still pipes up sometimes (I call her 'Mimi', after the Drew Carey Show character Mimi Bobek haha!) She says things like: "Are you sure you’re ready for this?" "Maybe you should wait until you’re better prepared." "Don't be so bold! Everyone will think you're a showoff!"

I used to think confidence meant silencing that voice. In fact, I've wanted to throw Mimi into the trunk of my car and push it off a cliff many times! But that never works, because our Inner Critics have an important job: they try to keep us safe by making us aware of something they think we’re not aware of. (They just have a weird way of going about it!)

Today I realize that I don't need to kill 'Mimi', I just need to keep her out of the driver’s seat. When I notice that she is starting to fire up, I picture her riding in the backseat of my car; hands off the wheel and no access to the radio, thank you very much! And I’m the only one allowed to choose the route. (Thanks to Liz Gilbert for this wonderful idea!)

You don’t have to eradicate self-doubt to be confident. You just have to stop letting it make your decisions.

Failure Isn’t Fatal – It’s Fuel

We’ve all heard the term ‘failing fast,’ usually tossed around by well-meaning leaders who want to encourage quicker thinking and braver experiments. It's meant to free us from worrying about getting everything perfect, to help us be more confident, and to nudge us into trying bolder, out-of-the-box ideas. And while those intentions are good, true failure is still emotionally messy, discouraging, and painful.

I understand it differently now: Failure isn’t a dead end. It’s just an unintended result. When something doesn’t go the way I'd hoped, I’ve learned to step back and ask: What part worked? What part didn’t? What did I learn that I can apply next time?

Over the years, I've been steadily building this reflection muscle, and while it hasn't always been easy, it has helped me turn misses into insights and wobbly results into stepping stones. Confidence grows when you realize you’re not fragile, flawed, or failing; you’re learning, adapting, and getting stronger.

Confidence Is a Practice, Not a Personality Trait

If you’re waiting to magically feel confident all the time, let me save you the suspense: you’ll be waiting forever. Confidence isn’t a trophy you win once and display forever. It’s a living, breathing practice.

Some days it flows through you easily. Other days, you’ll have to dust it off and rebuild it, piece by piece. And that’s normal. But every time you step up, even when you’re unsure, you’re proving something important to yourself: that you can handle the unknown; that you can learn as you go; and that you are braver and stronger than your fear.

If confidence has ever felt like something other people had and you didn’t, hear this message loud and clear: it’s not something you’re born with; it’s something you build, one imperfect action at a time; one courageous experiment at a time; one “not yet” moment at a time.

So go ahead, take up your space. Say the thing. Try the new way. Wobble your way forward. The future you (the one who already knows you are enough and that you belong), is cheering you on.

And so am I.

THE DELEGATION UPGRADE: What Most Over-Functioning Leaders Get Wrong (and a Free Tool!)

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

APRIL 2025

You don’t need to delegate more. You need to delegate better. Here's a story that'll explain what I mean.

I was working with a senior VP coaching client and during a discussion about her capacity, we shifted our conversation to the topic of delegation. I told her I had noticed that she was quite proud of her ability to empower her team. “I’m great at delegation,” she told me. “I trust my people. I don’t micromanage.”

Having observed her in action over several weeks during her 1:1s and team meetings, I saw something different: her calendar was jammed with back-to-back meetings; she sent out directive emails at all hours; she regularly worked weekends to fix her team's mistakes, and to catch up on her own work. I also noticed the reaction of her employees, and the impact on her team. Her employees didn’t seem to be confident or engaged and were unwilling to take initiative.

That instinct to ‘do it all’ is called over-functioning – doing the thinking, making the decisions, doing the ‘doing’, then re-doing what was done to meet an unreasonably high standard – all the while believing you’ve 'handed it off'.

My client is not alone. Delegation, and over-functioning in particular, is a common leadership coaching topic. And it doesn’t always look like martyrdom or micromanagement – most of the time, it’s a well-intentioned leader jumping in to help, filling in the blanks, or fixing things behind the scenes. And sometimes, it happens because a leader simply loves the 'doing'. But that pattern comes at a cost – to the leader’s capacity, to the team’s development, and to the overall trust within the team.

If you’re doing all the thinking and troubleshooting, you’re unintentionally teaching your team not to.

Leaders often fall into one of two over-functioning patterns:

• The Martyr: “It’s just easier if I do it myself.”

• The Micromanager: “I know I handed it over, but the output isn’t perfect, so I’ll fix it.”

Both are understandable. Neither actually works long term. So let’s shift the conversation to explore what's driving that behaviour, below the surface.

DELEGATION ISN’T ABOUT 'LETTING GO' OR 'SETTLING'

Here’s a myth that most leaders have been taught: Delegation means taking something off your to-do list and handing it to someone else.

But delegation is much more than that. Real, purposeful delegation is an act of generosity and trust. It’s not just about removing a task from your plate – it’s about staying involved in the right ways.

Let’s look at three common – and very different – delegation missteps that illustrate the cost of getting it wrong.

The scenario: You ask an employee to lead a project review and create a status update to present to the executive team.

Misstep #1: Hand-Off and Hope: You forward the meeting invite and say, “You’re up. Good luck.” They scramble to prepare, unsure of what matters most to the audience or what success looks like. Their output misses the mark, and you end up rewriting the entire presentation the night before. The result? Frustration on both sides and an employee who feels overwhelmed rather than empowered. What’s missing: the leadership scaffolding of clarity, support, and trust.

Misstep #2: Polisher’s Pitfall: Your employee completes their review, creates the report, and sends it back to you. It’s thoughtful, accurate, and 95 percent there, but not quite how you would have done it. Instead of offering constructive feedback or coaching them to close the gap, you quietly rewrite the whole thing to get it “just right.” It may feel efficient in the moment, but the cost is invisible and cumulative: confidence erodes, trust thins, and motivation takes a hit. Over time, your people stop stretching and start playing small.

Misstep #3: Ego Editor: If you’ve ever thought, “I just want to make a few improvements, to put my mark on it”, your edits aren't about quality control – they're about identity and ego. Many leaders unintentionally use editing as a way to demonstrate their value, showcase expertise, or subtly reassert ownership. But the trade-off is that every time you rewrite instead of coach, you send the message that your team’s work isn’t good enough, or that your version is the only one that counts. What starts as helpful becomes harmful. Over time, initiative fades, people disengage, and the team learns that ‘done’ doesn’t mean ‘trusted.’

Now picture a different version of this same scenario: You spend ten minutes upfront with your employee, walking through the context, clarifying expectations, and defining success. When they deliver the work, you don’t rewrite it or put your personal stamp on it – instead, you offer thoughtful questions and clear, actionable feedback that helps them refine, adjust, and learn. You’re not hovering, rescuing, or reasserting your mark – you’re scaffolding. You’re guiding.

When you delegate well, powerful things happen:

• You build trust.

• Your employee gains confidence and capability.

• Your leadership style evolves as you shift from doing to developing, from directing to empowering.

• Delegation becomes less about task completion and more about capability-building and culture-shaping.

This kind of leadership isn’t about perfection. It’s about being okay with 90%, if it means your people are getting stronger, faster, and more confident. It’s about holding the line between quality and growth – and having the courage to let your team take real ownership, even if it’s not perfect. Because that’s what builds future-ready teams. That’s what scales leadership.

To be fair, most senior leaders were never formally taught how to delegate. They built their careers on being high performers – solving problems, delivering results, and executing with speed and precision. These strengths earned them promotions, but once they step into leadership, the very habits that made them successful can begin to backfire.

As a leader, your job is no longer to do the work yourself – it’s to get the work done through others. That means shifting from being the expert who executes to the leader who inspires and enables execution. It’s about creating the conditions where your team can stretch, learn, and deliver, effectively and consistently.

When leaders continue doing it all themselves, they don’t just slow things down – they inadvertently block growth, erode trust, and limit team potential. To lead well, delegation isn’t a luxury – it’s a leadership necessity.

THE EMPOWERED DELEGATION MAP: FIVE QUESTIONS THAT CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING

This simple tool can help you plan your delegation moments more thoughtfully. Whether you're assigning a project, handing over a recurring task, or reflecting on something that didn’t quite land – the Empowered Delegation Map invites you to get intentional.

Here are the four reflection questions:

1. What’s the desired outcome? Be specific. What needs to happen? By when? And why does it matter?

2. What context or guardrails make this safe to delegate? What do they need to know? What decisions are theirs to make? What boundaries matter?

3. What would learning look like – even if it’s imperfect? What’s the stretch zone? What are you willing to tolerate in service of their development?

4. What’s the cost if I keep doing this myself? What’s the impact on your energy, focus, or leadership credibility? And what growth opportunity are they missing?

5. What will I do differently, as a result of this reflection? What new move do you want to experiment with? When will you try this? With whom? What criteria will you use to determine your level of success at this new move?

Try walking through the Empowered Delegation Map in advance of a handoff conversation, or even in retrospect. You might be surprised by what gets revealed through this simple but powerful coaching practice.

BE THE LIGHTHOUSE, NOT THE LIFEGUARD

Effective leaders are like lighthouses. They don’t climb into the boat and start bailing water – they shine a focused beam of light for others to find the hole. They broaden their beam and give enough direction to help the team find their way through a challenging strait. They are steady, anchored, and visible, and they trust their people to navigate with increasing confidence.

The challenging part is that most of us were trained to jump in and prove our value by solving and doing. But empowered delegation means resisting that impulse. It means letting others fumble a bit, so they can build awareness, skill, and capability, and learn important lessons that help them develop. It means learning when to shine a focused beam on something specific – and when to widen the light to illuminate the broader path.

When leaders delegate with clarity and purpose, something powerful happens. Their team stops waiting for direction and starts thinking for themselves. They feel trusted, and they step up in response. Ownership grows. Capacity expands. Leaders begin to spend more time where they create the most value – on strategic priorities – and less time putting out fires.

And there’s a bonus ripple effect: when your direct reports experience empowered delegation, they start to model it too, and before you know it, you’ve helped shift the culture toward greater ownership and trust.

TRY THE DELEGATION MAP – AND SEE WHAT SHIFTS

If you’re ready to delegate in a way that supports your people, strengthens your leadership, and frees up your capacity, download the free Empowered Delegation Map and give it a try. Use it before your next 1:1, during team planning, or even to debrief a delegation moment that didn’t land quite the way you hoped.

You might be surprised by how much shifts – not just in your team, but in your own mindset and habits as a leader.

LEADERSHIP STRENGTH AT FULL VOLUME: The Strength vs Overstrength Paradox

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

A senior leader walks into a team meeting (doesn’t that sound like the opening line to a joke!?), excited about his newly minted strategic vision, and confidently shares several decisions that he’s made. He offers a long list of ideas for reaction and execution, and he poses some powerful questions he wants answered. Each of these things is a quality leadership behaviour. So why does the room fall silent?

Chances are they’re not in awe; they’re overwhelmed.

This is a common occurrence in leadership, but it isn’t a villain story; it’s a visibility story – one that happens every day in organizations where well-intended leaders lean a little too far into their strengths. And the very qualities that earned them trust, promotions, and praise start to have the opposite effect.

This is the strength/over-strength paradox, and at its heart, it is a deceptively simple idea: a leadership strength, when overplayed, becomes a liability.

And yet, many leaders aren’t aware it’s happening until the damage is done. Why? Because they’re doing what’s always worked. Until it doesn’t.

WHY THIS MATTERS MORE THAN EVER

Trust in leadership is one of the strongest drivers of employee engagement and performance. And yet, in multiple global studies, more than half of employees say they don’t feel seen, heard, or understood by their leaders. That’s not just a gap – that’s a chasm! And in that chasm lurks the over-strength trap.

Think of your leadership as a soundboard in a recording studio. Every leadership attribute is an individual channel on the board:

• strategic vision

• decision-making

• humility

• communication

• empathy

• integrity

• accountability

• delegation

• motivation

• innovation

• negotiation

• change management

• critical thinking

• other (your unique leadership attributes)

When tuned just right, they create a harmonious mix. But push the fader too high on any one strength, and suddenly what was once inspiring becomes jarring. What was pleasing is now uncomfortable. What had been clear is now out of phase. And even though the other channels are set at the right volume, it can ruin the whole mix.

Let’s break it down using the graphic below, a snapshot of nine core leadership strengths (there are many others, some unique only to you!) Here’s what can happen when their volumes go unchecked.

STORIES FROM THE FRONT

Here’s where theory meets reality. These five short case studies are based on real coaching themes that have played out in boardrooms, team meetings, and one-on-ones. They showcase the human side of leadership; the moment where a well-meaning strength quietly shifts into overdrive, and the team dynamic shifts in response. If any of these stories feel familiar, you’re not alone – and you’re not off track. You’re just being invited to listen differently to your leadership ‘mix’, so you can make some adjustments, and tune your soundboard accordingly.

Case #1: The Strategic Visionary

Rajesh was known for his powerful strategic thinking. His colleagues described him as “the guy who could see around corners”. His head was typically five years ahead of the others on his team, who were still focused on Q1. His team was inspired... at first. But soon, they started feeling disconnected from the day-to-day realities. When asked what they needed to succeed, one team member quietly said, "I just need to know what I should be doing tomorrow." Rajesh had slipped into overstrength. His people felt abandoned in the present, trying to navigate the complexities on their own.

Case #2: The Empathetic Avoider

Marissa had developed a high level of emotional intelligence and compassion throughout her leadership career. Her people loved her warm personality; she was a great listener and genuinely seemed to care about them. She remembered birthdays, gave ‘free’ days off when they felt overwhelmed, and offered a soft shoulder to cry on when there was trouble at home. She also actively looked for developmental opportunities to offer each of her employees that would help them grow their careers. But when it came time to have hard conversations like missed deadlines, employee conflicts, or poor performance, she froze. Her empathy channel was so loud that it had drowned out her leadership accountability channel. She became avoidant, and slowly her team’s accountability eroded to the point that Marissa’s group developed a reputation for poor performance, which caused her top performers to look elsewhere, and made recruiting new employees difficult.

Case #3: The Humble Underdog

David was seen as a humble guy. He was always quick to credit his team for any successes and rarely took the spotlight. But over time, his unwillingness to take centre stage meant that he was invisible most of the time, which became a liability. Without the willingness to take up his full leadership space, the executive team couldn’t see his impact. David’s team, once proud of his modesty, started wondering if he lacked confidence in them – or in himself. It was an unnecessary distraction from the team’s mission and targets. Some became disengaged, while others tried to compensate by becoming more vocal (with uneven results). David’s humility had become an overstrength that muted his ability for bold influence, and his career stalled.

Case #4: The Delegating Ghost

Carla was an expert delegator. She understood delegation of authority thresholds and empowered her delegates to make decisions on her behalf and take action accordingly. She trusted her team and rarely micromanaged. But Carla wasn’t big on oversight. In fact, you could say she was allergic to it. Bored with mundane operational details, Carla preferred to live in the future, playing with strategic modelling and innovation trends. But without regular check-ins, guidance, and oversight, not only were projects veering off course and timelines slipping, but her people began to resent her, too. To her employees, Carla hadn’t delegated; she’d disappeared.

Case #5: The Motivational Machine

Jorge brought infectious energy to his leadership conversations. He was all about goal setting, giving recognition, and getting people fired up. His favourite expression was “push through”, something he often told employees when they raised concerns about their workload or capacity challenges. He was proud of how much his team could deliver, but as burnout crept in, his relentless positivity became exhausting. The team felt pressured to always perform at 110%, and some began hiding their struggles for fear of letting him down.

What once inspired them became a stress multiplier, and Jorge ended up with three employees on short-term stress leave.

All five of these leaders were doing what they thought was right. And they weren’t wrong. They just didn’t notice when their strengths started working against them.

BEST PRACTICES FOR BALANCING ACTS

So, how do you keep your soundboard balanced when the volume has crept up too high on one channel? How do you raise the volume on other channels to compensate? The following tips are some quick but powerful ways to ensure your leadership is landing the way you intend. These practices are grounded in real coaching tools and everyday leadership behaviours that can help you calibrate your leadership mix.

Make Feedback Normal, Not Formal

Build feedback into everyday conversation. The best leaders are curious, not just about ideas, outputs, metrics, and strategy, but about their own leadership impact. Ask: "What’s something I’m doing that’s getting in the way right now?"

Name Your Over-Strength

Introduce the strength/overstrength paradox concept to your team. Invite them to help you calibrate. It creates safety, builds trust, and diffuses the fear that giving feedback means they’re criticizing your character. Ask yourself: "Where might my team be seeing more of this strength than they need right now? What’s the unintended consequence I haven’t noticed yet?"

Coach the Strength Back to Centre

When a strength starts showing up too often or too intensely, it’s not about switching it off. It’s about adjusting the channel volume. Get back to the core purpose of the behaviour and check in on how it's being received. Ask yourself: "What’s the original intention here? What’s the ripple effect? What would ‘just enough’ look like?"

Use the 3-Point Leadership Lens

This quick tool helps leaders get out of autopilot and into alignment. Every time you lean on a strength, check:

• is it aligned with the mission?

• is it right for this moment?

• is it working for the people?

What worked in the past may not land now, especially in times of change. Ask yourself: "Is this strength in service of the bigger picture – or is it just my default setting?"

Revisit Regularly

Strengths evolve. So should your leadership. Schedule quarterly self-check-ins, and invite an executive coach to help you explore your blind spots. Ask yourself: "What strengths have I been leaning on heavily this quarter? When I pause to consider whether they’re still fit for purpose, what do I notice?"

THE INVITATION

Leadership isn’t about turning every channel up to eleven. It’s about learning to engineer your soundboard. A little more clarity here, a little less volume there. Bringing in the bass line of strategy without drowning out the higher notes of empathy. The best leaders aren’t the loudest or smartest in the room. They’re the most attuned.

When your strength becomes someone else’s struggle – it’s time to rebalance. So here’s an opportunity to experiment: Be in relationship with your leadership strengths. Take the time to listen to each channel in relation to the other channels, and in relation to the overall mix. Notice what needs adjustment, what’s sitting just right in the mix, and what might need a gentle nudge back to centre.

THE LEADERSHIP ECHO CHAMBER: How Lack of Self-Awareness Undermines Leaders

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

You’re in a meeting, and a senior leader – let’s call him Mark – is running the show. Mark is confident. Mark is decisive. Mark is also completely oblivious to the fact that his team is disengaged, his jokes are falling flat, and his ‘inspirational’ speech is about as energizing as a Monday morning budget meeting.

Poor Mark has no idea. Not a hot clue. He believes he’s leading with impact when, in reality, his team is mentally drafting their resignation emails and counting down the hours until they can get the hell out of there.

This, my friends, is the silent dealbreaker of leadership: lack of self-awareness. And unlike poor strategy or bad financial decisions, this one doesn’t come with warning lights or colourful metrics in quarterly reports. It sneaks up quietly, erodes trust, and before you know it, you’re ‘that guy’; the leader people respect on paper but avoid in the lunchroom.

YOU CAN’T FIX WHAT YOU CAN’T SEE

I talk a lot about emotional intelligence with leaders. And we talk a lot about strategic vision, too. But if a leader’s self-awareness isn’t at the foundation of their leadership, it’s like building a house on quicksand; it looks great – for a while – until everything collapses.

Dr. Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist and researcher who found that 95% of people believe they are self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are. That means there’s a whopping number of well-intentioned leaders walking around blissfully unaware of how they’re actually showing up.

And just to dial up the discomfort even more, here’s an ironic twist: the higher up the ladder you go, the harder it becomes to get an honest mirror. Not because senior leaders suddenly lose their self-awareness, but because fewer people are willing to offer unfiltered truth. Power dynamics, fear of retaliation, or the assumption that “they must know what they’re doing” create an echo chamber of polished updates and sugar-coated feedback. Over time, this curated input distorts a leader’s sense of how they’re truly showing up. Not because they don’t care, but because they don’t see what others see. And when you can’t see yourself clearly, you make decisions based on a version of reality that doesn’t actually exist.

SO, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN LEADERS LACK SELF-AWARENESS?

When leaders don’t see their own blind spots, a few things start to happen:

1. THEY MISREAD THE ROOM

Ever sat in a meeting where a leader delivers a long-winded monologue about “open communication” while everyone nervously avoids eye contact? It’s excruciating. A lack of self-awareness means you might believe your words inspire collaboration when, in reality, your presence stifles it. The best leaders understand how their tone, body language, and energy affect others – because leadership isn’t just about what you say. It’s about how you make people feel.

2. THEY REPEAT PATTERNS THAT DON’T WORK

If multiple teams have questioned your “collaborative” style, dial up your curiosity about whether your version of collaboration feels like command-and-control to others. The signal might not be rejection – it might be resistance to a misalignment between intention and impact. Many leaders operate on autopilot, defaulting to behaviors they’ve picked up over the years without questioning whether they actually work. If you keep encountering the same challenges – team disengagement, turnover, low morale – it’s worth asking: What’s my role in this?

3. THEY ERODE TRUST WITHOUT REALIZING IT

Trust is the currency of leadership. Without it, you’re just a person with a fancy title. And the fastest way to lose trust? Being out of sync with how you impact others. Imagine a leader who preaches work-life balance but sends emails at midnight. Or one who claims to value innovation but shuts down every new idea. These disconnects create cognitive dissonance, and over time, people stop believing in you – not because you’re malicious, but because your actions don’t align with your words.

SELF-AWARENESS AS A LEADERSHIP SUPERPOWER

If you've read this far and are thinking, “Well, this definitely isn’t about me,” I’ve got news for you: based simply on the stats, it probably is. So, how do you become more self-aware?

Here are three ways to start sharpening your self-awareness muscle:

1. ASK FOR FEEDBACK (AND ACTUALLY LISTEN)

Most leaders claim they want feedback. But when they receive it, often their defensive mode kicks in faster than you can say “constructive criticism.”

Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Wharton, explains that the best leaders actively seek out and embrace uncomfortable truths. Instead of asking, “How am I doing?” try, “What’s one thing I could do better?” It invites honesty without putting people on the spot. (And here's a cool neuroscience nugget: challenging the brain to find 'one' thing will actually yield better results than saying 'is there anything I could do better?")

And when you receive feedback? Don’t justify. Don’t explain. Just say, “Thank you.” Let it sink in. Reflect on your reaction to it. Find the insights to help you build your self-awareness and then act on it. As Maya Angelou famously said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

2. PAY ATTENTION TO PATTERNS

Do people often say you interrupt? Do your teams seem hesitant to answer your questions? Does your direct report “have another meeting” when you ask for a quick chat?

Those are clues. Self-aware leaders look for patterns in their interactions – not just individual incidents. If the same feedback (or silence) keeps showing up, there’s something to explore.

Here's a useful exercise: keep a leadership journal. Each week, jot down observations about your interactions. Over time, patterns will emerge – ones you can either correct or capitalize on.

3. BUILD A REFLECTION PRACTICE

Harvard Business School research found that leaders who take time to reflect on their experiences perform significantly better than those who don’t. Even taking five minutes a day to jot down, “What went well today? What didn’t? What’s one thing I’d do differently tomorrow?” – can shift how you lead.

Reflection doesn’t mean dwelling on mistakes – it means learning from them. Reflection doesn’t require a retreat or a journal filled with profound musings. Even a few quiet minutes can offer surprising clarity that can open the door to greater self-awareness (the kind of growth that most leaders say they want but rarely make time for).

YOUR IMPACT MATTERS MORE THAN YOUR INTENTION

You might intend to be a compassionate, visionary leader. But if your impact doesn’t align with your intention, you’re missing the mark. Great leaders – truly great ones – aren’t the ones who are always right. They’re the ones who are always learning. So, here’s the tough question: are you actively cultivating self-awareness, or just hoping it happens by osmosis? Don’t wait to find out the hard way that you’ve been Mark all along.

The silent dealbreaker isn’t a lack of skill, ambition, or intelligence. It’s the inability to see yourself clearly. And high-performing leaders make sure they never stop looking.

WHAT’S THE BEST PSYCHOMETRIC TEST TO TRANSFORM YOUR LEADERSHIP? (The answer may surprise you.)

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

As an Executive Coach, I often use psychometric testing to enhance leadership development as part of my 1:1 coaching programs for leaders. Some clients bring past assessment results, while others take advantage of the two that I offer. Last week, one of my clients asked me: “What’s your take on the best psychometric test for leadership?” After years of coaching, and seeing firsthand which assessments create real impact, I have an answer that might surprise you.

Psychometric testing is a billion-dollar industry, promising insights into personality, communication styles, decision-making preferences, and leadership potential. Rather than ‘putting you in a box’, they reveal the box you’re already sitting in, looking at the world. All of these tests offer you more information about the lens you look through to make sense of yourself, and your relationship to others and the world around you. And while each test approaches this from a different angle, they all offer the potential to provide powerful insights, and personalized recommendations for development. But with so many options out there, it can be hard to choose the one best suited to developing your leadership, career, or team cohesion.

Curious to know which one I think is the best? First, let’s look at ten of the most widely used psychometric assessments.

THE TOP 10 CONTENDERS

1. Insights Discovery

Identifies: Leadership style, self-awareness, and communication preferences.

How it’s used: Based on Jungian psychology, Insights Discovery categorizes individuals into four colour energies: Fiery Red, Sunshine Yellow, Earth Green, and Cool Blue – offering a simple, yet powerful, framework for understanding behavior. Leaders and teams use it to adapt their communication styles, enhance collaboration, and build stronger workplace relationships. The model’s accessibility makes it a favorite for leadership coaching and team dynamics.

Benefit: Easy to grasp and apply for immediate team impact.

Limitation: The four colour model can feel simplistic compared to deeper personality models (however I think its simplicity is also a key strength).

2. MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator)

Identifies: Personality preferences, decision-making styles, and work dynamics.

How it’s used: MBTI categorizes individuals into 16 personality types based on four dichotomies (Introvert/Extrovert, Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling, Judging/Perceiving). Organizations and leaders use it to understand cognitive diversity, improve team interactions, and tailor leadership approaches. Its value comes from exploring how preferences shape leadership tendencies and identifying areas for growth.

Benefit: Provides insight into how people perceive the world and make decisions.

Limitation: Often misused as a rigid label rather than a developmental tool.

3. DISC Personality Assessment

Identifies: Behavioral tendencies in communication and conflict resolution.

How it’s used: DISC categorizes behavior into four types – Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. Leaders leverage it to understand their natural communication style and adjust for different workplace dynamics. It’s particularly useful in high-pressure leadership roles, sales, and conflict resolution.

Benefit: Straightforward and practical for improving workplace communication.

Limitation: Lacks depth in assessing motivation and underlying personality traits.

4. SuccessFinder

Identifies: Leadership strengths, career fit, and team performance insights.

How it’s used: SuccessFinder provides highly detailed behavioral data to help leaders align their strengths with career aspirations and leadership effectiveness. It’s widely used in executive development, helping leaders optimize decision-making, productivity, and long-term career strategies.

Benefit: Data-driven with strong predictive accuracy for leadership success.

Limitation: Less commonly known, requiring coaching guidance to help clients interpret results effectively.

5. Enneagram

Identifies: Core motivations, fears, and emotional intelligence.

How it’s used: The Enneagram maps individuals into nine personality types, each with distinct worldviews and coping mechanisms. Leaders use it for deep self-reflection, personal growth, and emotional intelligence development. It’s particularly effective for those looking to strengthen empathy and resilience.

Benefit: Encourages profound self-awareness and emotional growth.

Limitation: Requires significant reflection and coaching support to apply effectively.

6. Hogan Personality Inventory

Identifies: Leadership potential, derailers, and risk factors.

How it’s used: The Hogan suite assesses personality traits related to leadership success and risk factors under stress. Organizations use it for executive coaching, talent selection, and succession planning. It’s one of the most research-backed tools for identifying both strengths and possible career-limiting behaviors.

Benefit: Helps leaders recognize and mitigate potential blind spots.

Limitation: Can feel confrontational to participants if not framed as a developmental tool.

7. EQ-i 2.0 (Emotional Intelligence)

Identifies: Self-regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, and leadership resilience.

How it’s used: Emotional intelligence is a critical leadership asset. The EQ-i 2.0 measures self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Leaders use it to enhance workplace relationships, manage stress, and develop high-performance teams.

Benefit: Strong correlation between EQ and leadership effectiveness.

Limitation: Requires ongoing practice to translate insights into real behavior change.

8. Gallup CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder)

Identifies: Core strengths and leadership potential.

How it’s used: CliftonStrengths identifies an individual’s top talents from a list of 34 strengths. Leaders use it to maximize their potential, align with career paths, and build high-performing teams by focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses.

Benefit: Encourages a strengths-based leadership approach.

Limitation: Doesn’t address potential blind spots or growth areas.

9. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI)

Identifies: Conflict-handling styles and negotiation strategies.

How it’s used: The TKI assesses five conflict-handling styles: Competing, Collaborating, Compromising, Avoiding, and Accommodating. Leaders and teams use it to navigate conflict more effectively, improving decision-making and negotiation tactics.

Benefit: Helps teams constructively manage conflict.

Limitation: Focuses on conflict behavior rather than deeper leadership traits.

10. FIRO-B (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation-Behavior)

Identifies: Interpersonal needs, leadership compatibility, and team dynamics.

How it’s used: FIRO-B assesses interpersonal needs in three key areas: Inclusion, Control, and Affection. Leaders use it to improve workplace relationships, enhance leadership compatibility, and align their management approach with team expectations.

Benefit: Strengthens understanding of team dynamics and leadership interactions.

Limitation: Less well-known, requiring interpretation for effective use.

SO, WHICH ONE IS THE BEST?

Here’s my take: The best psychometric test is the one you commit to using.

There are abundant and valuable insights and a-has to be had from any well-designed, personalized psychometric test, no matter which instrument is used. But the real value is not inherently in the results themselves. It comes from the reflection, discussion, and application of those results. Pay attention to any resistance you feel when reading your report. Is it truly inaccurate, or does it reveal a blind spot or limiting belief? Often, discomfort or resistance to certain insights arises from something we don’t like about ourselves, a blind spot we’re unaware of, area of growth we haven’t yet explored, or a perceived weakness that we want to protect from being seen by others. But the areas that challenge us most often hold the greatest growth potential – if we’re willing to reflect, practice, and experiment.

Many of my clients are surprised by the accuracy of their assessments. Even the skeptics have joked that it feels like someone must’ve been watching them for weeks. But no matter how precise the results seem, they’re just the starting point. A test won’t transform you – but what you do with it will.

CHOOSE THE RIGHT TOOL FOR YOUR GROWTH

Different tools will resonate with different people and serve different purposes. A skilled coach can help you assess your development needs and recommend the appropriate instrument that will have the greatest impact on your development investment.

If you’re ready to go beyond the assessment and start applying new insights and awareness, let’s talk. I help leaders and teams translate their results into real-world impact.

Which psychometric tool has been most useful for you? Drop a comment below – I’d love to hear your experiences!

YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED FOR ANXIETY: 6 Simple Questions to Stop the Spiral

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately (and let’s be honest – who isn’t these days), you’re not alone. The world feels like a pressure cooker on the verge of exploding, and even the strongest among us are feeling the heat. Unprecedented levels of uncertainty, political upheaval, economic instability, and global tensions can make even the most resilient leaders feel anxious. But here’s the thing: anxiety thrives in ambiguity. When everything feels out of control, our minds spin stories of worst-case scenarios, feeding a cycle of stress that can feel impossible to escape.

The good news? You don’t have to tackle everything at once. Research shows that our brains can only process a limited amount of information at a time. This is known as cognitive load. When we try to manage everything at once, decision fatigue sets in, making it harder to think clearly or take effective action. By focusing on just one thing at a time, we can reduce mental overwhelm and make it easier to regain control. Instead, you can break it down into something much more manageable; just one thing at a time.

This exercise, which I call the One Thing Practice is like a mental reset button, giving you a chance to pause, assess, and shift your mindset before stress takes the wheel. By answering six simple questions, you’ll create a sense of clarity and control, even in turbulent times. Let’s walk through them together.

1. Name the thing I’m anxious about.

When stress hits, our minds tend to generalize: “Everything is a mess.” “Nothing is going right.” “The world is falling apart.”

But what exactly is causing your anxiety? Naming it is the first step in reclaiming control. Instead of saying, “I’m stressed about the state of the world,” get specific: “I’m worried that the financial downturn will impact my job security.” Or “I’m anxious about how a new policy change will affect my business.”

Once you’ve named it, you’ll notice that your stress becomes something you can begin to examine and explore, rather than experiencing it as an overwhelming cloud of fear.

2. Name one thing I can do to prepare for it.

Now that you’ve identified the source of your anxiety, it’s time to shift into action. What’s one small, concrete step you can take to feel more prepared?

If you’re worried about job security, can you update your resume? Strengthen your network? If economic uncertainty is affecting your business, can you revisit your budget or explore ways to diversify revenue streams?

The message here is that action reduces anxiety (though it doesn’t eliminate it entirely; some anxiety is natural.) Even the smallest step forward reminds you that you are not powerless.

3. Name one reason that it won’t be as bad as I fear.

Our brains are wired to anticipate worst-case scenarios, but reality is rarely as catastrophic as we imagine. Consider this: how many times have you worried about something that never actually happened?

Let’s say you’re worried about an upcoming presentation you have to make to the Board. Your brain is already crafting the script for a horror film: the lights come up, your mind goes blank, and the audience stares in awkward silence as you struggle to remember even one of your key messages. Harsh judgment is revealed on the faces of the Board members and your boss, as they roll their eyes and shake their heads in disappointment. Roll credits.

Your mind might be telling you: “I’ll freeze, forget everything, and embarrass myself.” But in reality, you’ve prepared, you’ve done this before, and even if you stumble, people are usually far more forgiving than we assume.

Challenge your fear with logic. Ask yourself: What’s another possible outcome that’s not worst-case?

4. Name one reason I know I can handle it.

This is where you tap into your resilience. You’ve faced challenges before. You have overcome obstacles. You have proof that you are capable, even when things get tough.

Think about a past situation where you faced uncertainty and made it through. Maybe you successfully navigated a career change, managed a crisis, or led your team through a tough period. You are stronger than you think. And you already have experience proving it.

If it helps to look at others’ experiences and approaches to resilience, think about some of the real Canadians whose examples shine a light on the path forward. Leaders like Arlene Dickinson, who built a multi-million-dollar marketing empire despite early financial struggles, proving that resilience and reinvention go hand in hand. Or Terry Fox, whose determination to run across Canada despite losing a leg to cancer inspired a global movement in cancer research. Or Clara Hughes, who transformed personal struggles with mental health into advocacy, using her platform to champion resilience and well-being. Just like them, you have faced challenges, adapted, grown stronger, and inspired others with your resilience. Your past experiences are proof that you can handle this too.

5. Name one upside to the situation.

Even in difficult times, there is always a silver lining—though sometimes you might need to squint to see it. Finding an upside doesn’t mean pretending everything is great, however. It’s about recognizing that even tough situations can lead to unexpected benefits. Maybe this challenge forces you to develop a new skill, strengthen relationships, or rethink outdated strategies that no longer serve you. What is one possible positive outcome of this situation?

A challenging economic climate might push you to be more innovative. A leadership struggle could highlight opportunities for growth. Even personal setbacks often lead to greater self-awareness and resilience.

This doesn’t mean dismissing the difficulty – it means acknowledging that opportunities often come disguised as obstacles. To help uncover the upside, ask yourself: What new skills or strengths might I develop as a result of this challenge? How might this experience shift my priorities for the better? What doors could this situation open that I wouldn’t have considered before? If I look back on this a year from now, what might I appreciate about what I learned or how I grew?

6. Name one thing I’m grateful for because of it.

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for shifting perspective, especially when stress tries to convince us that everything is negative. Instead of focusing on what’s lost or uncertain, gratitude helps us anchor to what remains steady and meaningful. It might be the support of a close friend, the lessons gained from a tough experience, or even the personal growth that comes from pushing through adversity. Even in stressful situations, there is something to be grateful for. This doesn’t mean ignoring or downplaying the difficulty of what you’re facing. Instead, it’s about finding balance—acknowledging the challenges while also recognizing the positives that exist alongside them. What is it?

Maybe this challenge is forcing you to slow down and focus on what truly matters. Maybe it’s revealing who your real support system is. Maybe it’s teaching you something invaluable about yourself and your ‘wiring’.

Speaking of wiring, did you know that gratitude rewires stress? When we consciously shift our focus to what we appreciate, we break the cycle of fear and reframe our experience.

Putting It All Together

This practice is simple, but don’t underestimate its power. In just a few minutes, you can shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling focused and in control. The next time anxiety creeps in, pause and walk yourself through these six questions. Write them down. Reflect on your answers. Notice how your mindset changes.

One thought at a time. One step at a time. No need for superhero-level resilience, just a willingness to take the next right step. Practicing these six questions consistently helps build long-term resilience, training your brain to approach stress with clarity instead of panic. Over time, you’ll find that shifting your perspective becomes second nature, making you more adaptable and confident in the face of uncertainty. And with this new awareness, you stand at a new vantage point, from which you can take a step in any direction, toward more anchored choices. That’s all it takes to move forward.

If this practice resonates with you, I encourage you to share it with someone who might need it today. The world needs more calm, clear-headed leaders right now, and that can start with you.

Interested in more leadership and mindset strategies? Subscribe to my blog or reach out to explore executive coaching and leadership development opportunities tailored to your needs.

NAVIGATING TRUMP’S TRADE WAR: Grounded Strategies for Canadian Executives

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

In a move driven by short-term political interests, Donald Trump’s latest round of tariffs targeting Canada, Mexico, and China has thrown our economic landscape into turmoil. As markets react, Canadian businesses are bracing for uncertainty and rethinking their strategies for resilience.

But Donald Trump’s trade war isn’t just a policy decision – it’s a disruption sending shockwaves through global markets. Canadian leaders now face an era where economic and political uncertainty isn’t just a possibility; it’s a daily reality. Supply chains are disrupted, key industries face instability, and businesses are left wondering how to adapt in a climate of unpredictability.

This fundamental shift in the way global trade and leadership operate is creating ripple effects of protectionist policies, retaliatory tariffs, and market instability that not only impacts corporate strategy, but also the livelihoods of Canadian families (Canada announces robust tariff package in response to unjustified US tariffs, 2025.

As an executive leader, you may find yourself wondering: How do I navigate this turmoil while maintaining stability for my organization and my team? The good news? You’re not alone. And you have more choices than you may realize.

THE NEW REALITY: CHALLENGES FACING CANADIAN EXECUTIVES

Change isn’t just coming – it’s already here. Many Canadian leaders find themselves:

• Grappling with career transitions and shifting roles as industries restructure in response to new tariffs and market instability, particularly in manufacturing, agriculture, and natural resources (Canadian factory PMI tumbles as tariff uncertainty hits sentiment, 2025.)

• Struggling to keep employees engaged amid uncertainty, as fear of job losses and financial strain grows – especially in trade-dependent regions like Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia.

• Managing organizational change with limited clarity on the path forward due to fluctuating trade agreements and unpredictable policy shifts, including Canada’s ongoing negotiations within USMCA (United States-Mexico-Canada Agreement).

• Facing decision fatigue, making high-stakes choices daily about cost-cutting, diversifying markets, supply chain adjustments, and workforce management in response to the impact of tariffs on steel, aluminum, and automotive exports.

At the same time, leaders must balance financial sustainability, regulatory changes, and technological advancements that are reshaping industries at an unprecedented pace. The ability to stay grounded, agile, and forward-thinking will determine who thrives in this new reality (PwC Canada CEO Survey: Adapting to economic uncertainty, 2025.)

STAYING GROUNDED AS THE GROUND SHIFTS

1. NAVIGATE WITH A STRONG INTERNAL COMPASS

Your past experiences – both successes and failures – are invaluable. Reflect on what worked, and what didn’t. Honest self-assessment allows you to see where your strengths lie and where growth is needed. Leadership resilience starts with self-awareness.

In the face of shifting trade policies, having a clear set of leadership principles can serve as your anchor AND your compass. Take time to revisit your core values. What principles have guided your best decisions in the past? Aligning your leadership with these values fosters consistency, even in turbulent times (see my previous article that covers key leadership strategies in Leading Through Economic Uncertainty.)

2. RETHINK GOALS: FROM SURVIVAL TO STRATEGY

The brain craves direction. Neuroscience tells us that goals tied to clear rewards become habits more easily. Whether you’re leading a transformation or stabilizing your company, frame objectives in a way that motivates both yourself and your team: are you moving toward opportunity (growth mindset) or away from risk (fixed mindset)? The distinction matters.

For example, instead of reacting to trade restrictions with fear-driven cuts, reframe your approach: How can we reposition our business to capitalize on new markets or emerging trade agreements? Set three levels of goals with this question in mind: 1) short-term (adjusting strategy for immediate shifts); 2) mid-term (exploring alternative suppliers or partnerships, particularly within Canada and Europe through CETA, and especially as Provincial trade barriers fall); and 3) long-term (future-proofing your business against similar disruptions by diversifying exports beyond the U.S.). This structure ensures that no matter how unstable the present feels, you always have a guiding vision.

3. COLLABORATE OR COLLAPSE: WHY TEAMWORK MATTERS MORE THAN EVER

Many organizations are still structured around outdated competitive silos. But high-performing leaders know that success is collective. Redefine success within your teams by rewarding collaboration. Shared goals breed stronger, more adaptable teams.

And think beyond your own structure and resources: in the wake of supply chain disruptions, many Canadian companies have turned to industry alliances and local partnerships to navigate the challenges. Consider implementing cross-functional teams that bring together diverse perspectives from operations, finance, and strategy, with external partners and industry advisors, to create solutions that benefit your organization and the whole industry. Look to government-supported initiatives such as Canada’s Trade Commissioner Service (TCS) and expertise from Canadian crown corporation Export Development Canada (EDC) for insights and funding options that can support businesses through this transition (Canada's big banks push for reforms in Ottawa to confront tariff risks - Reuters).

4. THE EMPATHY ADVANTAGE: LEADING WITH HUMANITY IN TURBULENT TIMES

People don’t just follow plans; they follow people. Employees are experiencing economic anxiety and are worried about job stability, rising costs, and business viability. Acknowledge their concerns. Adapt your communication to show that you understand their challenges. Trust is built in conversations, not in directives.

Regularly check in with your team – not just about work, but about their well-being. A simple “How are you managing these changes?” can open up valuable insights and strengthen trust. Transparency about company decisions in response to the trade war can also help alleviate uncertainty and prevent misinformation (See how Canadians are adapting in: Economic uncertainty has 83% of Canadians changing their financial habits, 2025.

HOW EXECUTIVE COACHING CAN FUTURE-PROOF YOUR LEADERSHIP

Even the best leaders need a space to step back, reflect, and refine their strategies. Executive coaching provides that, offering tailored guidance, accountability, and fresh perspectives. Through deep conversations, structured frameworks, and actionable strategies, executive coaching helps leaders:

• Gain clarity in decision-making amid economic and trade instability.

• Build confidence in leading through uncertainty and market shifts.

• Strengthen their leadership EQ ‘super-power’: developing your emotional intelligence can guide employees through financial and operational stress.

• Identify blind spots that may be limiting strategic thinking in crisis management.

Coaching isn’t about fixing what’s broken – it’s about elevating what already exists. Leaders who invest in their own development create stronger, more resilient organizations that can withstand geopolitical turbulence. (Discover how strong leadership is shaping the future in Celebrating visionary leadership at a critical moment for Canada, 2025).

THE CONVERSATION THAT COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING

You don’t have to navigate this alone. The strongest leaders are not those who stand alone – they are the ones who know when to seek support, challenge their perspectives, and adapt to change with purpose. If you’re ready to explore how executive coaching can help you lead with clarity, confidence, and resilience, let’s talk. Schedule a free discovery consultation to see how you can turn today’s uncertainty into tomorrow’s strength. Powerful coaching conversations can make all the difference.

TAMING THE LONE WOLVES: Transforming Cutthroat Competition into High-Performing Collaboration

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

A Team That Should Be Winning (but isn’t)

You’ve worked your butt off to build your team. You interviewed multiple high-flyers, chose a select few who rose above the rest, and hired yourself a highly driven, results-oriented team of rock stars. They’re confident, competitive, and relentless in their pursuit of bold goals. Congratulations! On paper, it’s a recipe for record-breaking success.

And yet…

Month after month, instead of celebrating big wins, they miss their targets, and you’re spending your already-squeezed time playing referee in a never-ending cycle of infighting, back-channeling, posturing, and finger-pointing. You’re frustrated. Opportunities are slipping through the cracks. Turnover is up, which means you’ll have to go back out there again, in search of your next unicorn.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

Many teams suffer from a ‘lone wolf’ culture, where individuals operate as fiercely independent agents, more focused on personal wins than collective success. While competition can be a powerful motivator, unchecked rivalry can be fatal. When team members view each other as threats rather than allies, trust erodes, collaboration disappears, and opportunities are lost.

The good news? It doesn’t have to be this way. You can harness that competitive energy and channel it toward team-wide success.

Why Lone Wolf Cultures Persist

Before we dive into solutions, let’s look at why this problem exists in the first place. Lone wolf cultures often emerge because:

1. Incentive Structures That Reward Individual Wins: When promotions, bonuses, and recognition are tied exclusively to individual performance, team members naturally strive for personal success over team outcomes, and efforts to work together may be seen as a distraction or nuisance, rather than a strategic advantage. If leaders don’t actively reward collective achievements over personal achievements, the message you’re sending is clear: winning alone matters more than winning together. Over time, this breeds a cutthroat environment where employees guard their insights, resist collaborating and knowledge-sharing, and view colleagues as competitors rather than allies.

2. Lack of Shared Goals: When success is measured solely by individual KPIs, team members naturally prioritize their own objectives over the broader mission. Without well-defined team goals that require collaboration, individual priorities often clash, inefficiencies rise, and friction becomes inevitable. And don’t kid yourself into thinking that having a few collective goals is enough. If most of the leader’s is focus is on individual targets, employees chase personal wins, often at the expense of the organization’s success. It’s not intentional; it’s human nature. High-performing teams don’t just coexist; they work toward a shared vision that unites individual efforts into a cohesive, results-driven force.

3. Lack of Accountability: And, while we’re on the topic of KPIs and metrics, let’s also look at KBIs: key behavioural indicators. When accountability rests solely on the leader’s shoulders to hold employees accountable, team dynamics suffer. Without clear expectations for team members to hold each other accountable in a constructive way, small frustrations fester into major conflicts. Instead of open, solution-focused conversations, tensions simmer beneath the surface, fueling competition, blame, and disengagement.

4. Scarcity Mindset: When employees believe opportunities, recognition, or resources are in short supply, they default to a survival mode of competition. In environments where promotions are rare, leadership roles are limited, or high-value projects are assigned to a select few, employees can feel pressured to outshine rather than collaborate. This scarcity-driven competition often leads to posturing, hoarding information, withholding support, and prioritizing personal advantage over team cohesion. Without a culture that reinforces abundance (where success is not a zero-sum game), trust erodes and true collaboration becomes nearly impossible.

5. Poor Leadership Reinforcement: Even well-intentioned leaders can inadvertently fuel a lone-wolf culture by rewarding individual achievement over collective success. If company leaders consistently celebrate top performers without acknowledging the team effort behind them, they reinforce a mindset of ‘everyone for themselves.’ And leaders who fail to model collaboration (eg: making unilateral decisions, keeping information siloed, or playing favorites) send a message that teamwork is secondary to individual success. To foster a culture of cooperation, be intentional about how you recognize and reinforce behaviors that strengthen, rather than divide, the team.

6. Fear of Losing Control: Some employees see their expertise, knowledge, or unique skills as their competitive advantage – and resist helping each other succeed because sharing assets feels like a direct threat to their success. Whether it’s withholding key insights, avoiding feedback or mentorship, or resisting teamwork, individuals who fear losing their edge often isolate themselves, unintentionally weakening the team’s overall effectiveness. This fear-driven behavior not only stifles innovation; it also creates an unhealthy dynamic where personal protectionism overrides collective problem-solving. To break this cycle, organizations must emphasize psychological safety – where sharing expertise is seen as a strength, not a risk.

The Cost of a Lone Wolf Culture

A hyper-competitive, cutthroat environment might sound like a high-performance culture to some, but in reality, it can have severe consequences to your bottom line and corporate reputation. Teams that operate in silos often miss out on significant opportunities that are only possible through cross-functional collaboration. Without a cohesive approach, projects stagnate, innovation suffers, and major deals or game-changing breakthroughs slip through the cracks.

Beyond lost opportunities, think about what a slog it is to come to work every day in a culture of lone wolves. Individuals prioritize their own success over the team's; distrust grows along with a toxic work environment; constant infighting, backstabbing, showboating; lack of transparency; and an atmosphere of stress and resentment. No wonder burnout and turnover rates are higher in lone wolf teams. Leaders can find themselves caught in a never-ending cycle of conflict resolution and recruiting, rather than focusing their valuable time on strategic initiatives and growth.

A fragmented team also confuses your clients and stakeholders. When different team members present conflicting strategies or undermine each other, it affects the credibility of the whole team – and its leader. This inconsistency damages trust and can result in lost business and diminished reputation.

Ultimately, a lone wolf culture doesn’t just hinder individual performance, it can cripple an entire organization.

Breaking the Lone Wolf Mentality: Leadership Strategies for Change

Surprise! There’s no quick fix! If your team is stuck in a lone wolf mentality, changing it will require deliberate, overt, and consistent shifts over time: in mindset, structure, and leadership approach.

The first step is redefining success. Instead of measuring performance purely through individual KPIs (key performance indicators), establish shared team goals that reward collective achievements. Celebrating wins as a team fosters a sense of unity and reinforces the idea that success is not a zero-sum game. Leaders should publicly recognize collaborative efforts, highlighting how teamwork contributes to overall success.

BCE Inc., Canada's largest communications company, introduced a comprehensive recognition program in 2021 that celebrated achievements within departments and teams to acknowledge collaborative efforts and foster a culture where teamwork is integral to success. And Canadian athletic apparel and accessories giant Lululemon Athletica implemented a team-based cash bonus program to reward groups for reaching store-specific goals, incentivizing collective performance while strengthening team cohesion and aligning individual efforts with broader organizational objectives.

Beyond KPIs, include a set of KBIs in your performance dashboard: Key Behavioural Indicators. What behaviours will you watch for to let you know your team culture is healthy, employees are engaged, motivated, focused on the right things, and interpreting your strategy and objectives the way you intended? (Check out my ‘Coaching Minute’ video on Key Behavioural Indicators.)

Adjusting incentives and recognition structures is a crucial step in the strategy. Implementing team-based bonuses, peer-nominated awards for collaboration, and recognizing those who contribute to a project rather than just those who close the deal can reshape workplace dynamics. When employees see tangible rewards for working together, mentoring each other, and receiving straightforward feedback that helps them succeed, they become more inclined to share knowledge and resources.

Leadership also plays a pivotal role in shifting the team's mindset. The narrative must change from celebrating individual top performers to spotlighting collaborative successes. Be relentless in looking for ways to reinforce this message. Talk about it at cross-functional meetings, open forums for sharing strategies, and 1:1 coaching sessions focused on EQ growth and career development. As a leader, modeling this behavior by demonstrating your openness, cooperation, and a commitment to collective growth at every opportunity, helps your team adapt to the ‘new way we do things around here now'.

Cultivating a culture of trust is another essential element. Transparency is key – giving employees visibility into projects, expectations, decision-making processes – and even the performance ratings process – helps eliminate secrecy and encourages open dialogue. Group Coaching, Peer Coaching, and Mentorship programs can also bridge gaps between team members, fostering knowledge-sharing and reducing territorial behavior. Addressing conflicts quickly and constructively reinforces the expectation that undermining others will not be tolerated. Equip your employees with training, coaching, and frequent opportunities to practice the ideal team behaviours.

Healthy competition doesn’t have to be eliminated – it just needs to be reframed. Gamifying collaboration through contests that reward joint efforts, rotating leadership roles to prevent hoarding of responsibilities, and creating team challenges can maintain motivation while promoting unity. Providing training on the value of collective intelligence can further reinforce why working together is more powerful than operating alone.

What the Research Says About Collaborative Teams

A recent Harvard Business Review study found that companies with strong collaboration cultures outperform their competitors by 27% in revenue growth. Another study by the Corporate Leadership Council revealed that top-performing teams spend 50% more time sharing best practices than their lower-performing counterparts. And a 2022 study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that teams engaging in collaborative problem-solving exhibited a 20% increase in performance metrics compared to those working individually. A 2023 report by Deloitte highlighted that organizations fostering a culture of collaboration were five times more likely to experience high performance.

The message is clear: Teams that work together, win together.

Turning Lone Wolves into a Winning Pack

A fiercely competitive team may look strong on the surface, but if they’re constantly undermining each other, they’re losing more than they’re winning. The highest-performing teams aren’t just a collection of individual stars – they’re a well-oiled machine that balances competition with collaboration.

As a leader, your role isn’t just to drive numbers – it’s to build a sustainable, high-performing culture. That means shifting the narrative from ‘me vs. them’ to ‘us vs. the challenge.’ It means rewarding teamwork as much as individual success. And it means leading by example.

The lone wolf era is over. It’s time to build a pack that wins together.

Need Help Shifting Your Team Culture?

If your team is struggling with internal competition and missed targets, let’s talk. As an executive coach specializing in leadership development and team dynamics, I help leaders build high-performing team cultures that drive results. Schedule a consultation today at www.leslierohonczy.com.

LEADING THROUGH ECONOMIC UNCERTAINTY

Strengthening Our Canadian Leadership Mindset

LESLIE ROHONCZY, IMC™, PCC, Executive Leadership Coach | FEBRUARY 2025

I’ve noticed a shift in the focus of many of my executive coaching clients in the past several weeks. Because the global business and political landscape is evolving so rapidly, and even erratically at times, Canadian executives and senior leaders are wrestling with next-level economic uncertainty.

While this current crisis may feel familiar in some ways to the economic challenges that we experienced during the COVID-19 global health crisis a few years back, this is significantly different. During Covid, we faced a common threat that united industries and nations. Specifically, Canada and our U.S. counterparts were in the Covid battle together; brothers and sisters, fighting side by side as members of the same family; looking out for one another. Doesn’t it feel like that was light-years ago?

Our current economic pressures, shifting trade policies, political changes, and global instability demand a mindset shift so significant that it will define not just the future of our businesses, but the resilience of Canada’s economy itself. And while these changes bring risks, they also present tremendous opportunities: greater clarity, adaptability, and strength – as individual leaders, as Canadian organizations, and as a nation.

Using Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory as a framework, let’s look at leadership mindset across four critical perspectives of the Integral Quadrants model: Action, Systems, Relationships, and Values.

1. ACTION: Embracing Agility, Accountability, and Ownership

Uncertainty can be paralyzing, but it’s time for leaders to lean into action. The question isn’t if the landscape will change – it’s how fast and how well we adapt. We don’t have the luxury of waiting for complete clarity before we act.

Key Mindset Shifts:

• Control the Controllable: Instead of fixating on external forces like tariffs or supply chain disruptions, focus on what you can control – efficiency, innovation, and strategic positioning.

• Act Before You’re Ready: Take calculated risks and iterate quickly rather than waiting for perfect conditions.

• Adopt a Learning Mentality: Every challenge presents an opportunity for reinvention. Embrace experimentation and learning to drive transformation. Try experimenting with reframing the challenge as a chance to develop local manufacturing partnerships, lobby for inter-provincial trade reforms, reduce reliance on foreign supply chains, and strengthen your industry.

Executive Coaching Reflection Questions:

1. What assumptions about the future might be limiting my options, and how can I reframe them to uncover new opportunities?

2. How will we challenge those assumptions to uncover new opportunities?

2. SYSTEMS: Thinking in Complexity, Acting with Precision

Uncertainty requires leaders to step back and see the broader system at play – political forces, economic trends, industry shifts – and make data-informed but decisive moves.

Key Mental Models:

• Zoom Out, Then Zoom In: Toggle between macro and micro views. Analyze global trends but translate insights into specific, actionable decisions.

• Decisiveness Over Perfection: Waiting for perfect data leads to stagnation. Instead, make high-probability bets based on emerging patterns.

• Scenario Thinking as a Superpower: Plan for multiple outcomes to give you an edge when volatility strikes. For example, when you recognize that your traditional supply chains are fragile, experiment with AI-driven forecasting and diversifying supplier regions, to help you transform uncertainty into a competitive edge.

Executive Coaching Reflection Questions:

1. How am I balancing immediate pressures with long-term strategic vision, when making decisions?

2. What evidence, criteria, or data points do I typically rely on?

3. What other information might I explore to gain a fuller perspective?

3. RELATIONSHIPS: Leading with Emotional Intelligence and Stability

Markets fluctuate, but people are the heart of your business. Whether it’s your employees, your customers, or your stakeholders, they are all navigating this uncertainty along with you, and this is your opportunity to provide calm, transparent, and values-driven guidance.

Key Leadership Attitudes:

• Transparency Builds Trust: Uncertainty is unsettling, but withholding information is worse. Leaders who share challenges openly build credibility and loyalty. Be as transparent as you are able, without putting your team or company at risk.

• Empathy Over Authority: Instead of just driving performance, seek to identify and understand the emotional toll of this uncertainty. From that vantage point, lead with humanity. Employees and customers are loyal to leaders and companies who care about their well-being.

• Confidence Without False Promises: As employees and investors look to you for assurance, demonstrate your confidence while staying honest about challenges. If you’re facing supply shortages, lead with radical transparency – openly communicate challenges while directing the pivot to Canadian suppliers. This is likely to increase customer trust, build stronger employee engagement, and strengthen your reputation for integrity.

Executive Coaching Reflection Questions:

1. How am I fostering trust and psychological safety within my leadership team and through my organization?

2. Am I sharing with enough transparency, and how do I know what’s ‘enough’?

4. VALUES: Leading with Purpose and Resilience During Uncertainty

At its core, leadership is about more than just profitability – it’s about principles. In times of upheaval, strong leaders ground themselves in what truly matters.

Key Leadership Principles:

• Commit to National Resilience: Investing in Canadian talent, manufacturing, and innovation isn’t just patriotic – it’s smart business.

• Lead with Long-Term Ethics: In a crisis, the temptation is to focus on short-term survival. Strong, resilient leaders make decisions that align with their values and their company’s legacy.

• Champion Collective Strength: Uncertainty is best navigated through partnership, not isolation. Industry collaboration strengthens national stability. Instead of outsourcing to the U.S., invest in a Canadian R&D hub – securing government incentives and attracting top talent to future-proof your company while reinforcing Canada’s innovation economy.

Executive Coaching Reflection Question:

1. What are the foundational core values of my business?

2. How are my decisions reinforcing my core values and long-term vision?

3. What upcoming decisions may create pressure on my core values? How will I prepare mitigants for that?

Strengthening Leadership Mindset in Uncertain Times

While uncertainty is challenging, it is also an opportunity to refine and grow your leadership. By cultivating a mindset of adaptability, strategic thinking, emotional intelligence, and purpose-driven leadership, you can guide your business – and Canada – toward a more resilient future.

Want to strengthen your leadership resilience and impact in the face of uncertainty? Executive coaching is a powerful tool in developing the clarity, confidence, and strategic insight to thrive in an evolving landscape. Schedule a discovery call with Leslie Rohonczy today to explore how executive coaching can help you lead with confidence.

WHEN THE LADDER BREAKS: Four Pillars of Career Transition

Turning Turbulence Into Opportunity

Career transitions are among the most challenging moments in our professional journey. Whether we’re stepping into a new role, considering a significant pivot, or facing the unexpected disruption of being let go, the emotional and practical demands can feel overwhelming. And on top of all that, the uncertainty of “what is,” the grief of “what was,” and the fear of “what’s scary” often collide, leaving us unsure how to move forward into “what’s next”.

This is why I created the Career Transition Model. Grounded in four core qualities – Curiosity, Compassion, Courage, and Honesty – this framework provides a structured, human-centered approach to navigating the complexities of career change. By focusing on each section of this model, we can transform a tumultuous experience into an opportunity for clarity, growth, and meaningful next steps.

Let’s explore the model in depth and uncover the benefits of focusing on each element in the transition.

1. COMPASSION: Accepting "What Is"

This is a tough time – it’s time to be gentle with yourself. When faced with career disruption, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions: grief, frustration, shame, or even anger. Compassion invites us to sit with these feelings without judgment. Instead of rushing to act or denying our emotions, this stage encourages us to:

• Acknowledge and honor what we’re feeling.

• Give ourselves the grace to process our grief or disappointment.

• Treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would extend to a friend.

Compassion is about being present with our reality, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. It’s the foundation for healing and ensures that our next steps come from a grounded and intentional place. Compassion creates space for emotional processing and clarity, reduces self-criticism, promotes self-acceptance, and prevents burnout by prioritizing emotional well-being.

2. HONESTY: Reflecting on "What Was"

Transitions are an opportunity to reflect on the past with clarity and honesty. This doesn’t mean dwelling on what went wrong, but rather assessing what worked and what didn’t in our previous role or career, so that we can identify limiting beliefs, behaviour patterns, strengths to be leveraged, and areas for growth to close gaps. It required us to ask ourselves tough but valuable questions like: “What lessons can I carry forward?” “What was I good at that I want to do more of?” “What gaps do I need to address?”

Honesty with ourselves – or what I like to call ‘accurate self-assessment’ – requires us to reflect on our past performance and engagement, so that we can move forward with a deeper understanding of what we need in order to thrive in our next chapter. This level of honestly with ourselves is a key step in the process because it promotes self-awareness and growth, provides clarity on what’s truly important to us, helps us identify gaps to be closed, and aligns our next steps with our values.

3. COURAGE: Facing "What’s Scary"

Fear often accompanies career transitions. The fear of failure, rejection, or making the wrong decision can feel paralyzing. Courage is about acknowledging our fears, leaning into them, and taking action that helps us overcome them. It’s about asking ourselves: “What am I afraid will happen?”, “What risks am I willing to take to move forward?” “What do I need to have / feel / believe in order to face this uncertainty with resilience?” “What’s one small step I can take today to address my biggest fear?”

Courage doesn’t mean eliminating fear; it means not letting fear dictate our choices. By taking small, intentional steps, we build momentum and confidence, even in the face of uncertainty. Acting with courage empowers us to take action despite our fear, builds resilience and confidence over time, and helps us confront challenges head-on, rather than avoiding them.

4. CURIOSITY: Exploring "What’s Next"

Curiosity invites us to lean into the unknown with a sense of openness and possibility. Rather than viewing this transition solely as a loss, curiosity encourages us to ask, “What opportunities might this open up for me?” “What have I always wanted to explore but haven’t had the chance to?” “What skills or passions can I leverage in new ways?”

This mindset shift allows us to see beyond the immediate turbulence and imagine our ideal state, and the potential of what could be. Curiosity is not about having all the answers – it’s about giving ourselves permission to wonder and explore, and cultivating the courage to dream without the pressure of immediate certainty. Maintaining our curiosity through this process encourages creative thinking and new possibilities, helps us shift from a reactive to a proactive mindset, and opens doors to opportunities we might not have considered before.

THE POWER OF INTEGRATION: The Intersections of the Model

Here’s where the Career Transition Model gets exciting: the intersections between these four qualities take us deeper, where meaningful action and transformation happen:

• COMPASSION + COURAGE = Process your grief and other uncomfortable emotions before acting.

• COURAGE + HONESTY = Self-reflect and identify the changes you want to make.

• HONESTY + CURIOSITY = Consider how you will close the gaps you’ve identified, and what you’ll need in your next role.

• CURIOSITY + COMPASSION = Combine expansive thinking with self-compassion as you dream boldly, and right-size what’s next.

WHY COACHING MATTERS DURING CAREER TRANSITIONS

It can be challenging to navigate career transitions alone. Working with an Executive Coach to help guide you in navigating the Career Transition Model can provide a deeply transformative, supportive, and human-centered program.

Executive coaching provides:

• A safe, judgment-free space to explore your emotions and aspirations.

• Tailored strategies and support to help you stay focused and grounded.

• Practical tools and accountability to move forward with confidence.

If you’re navigating a career transition, coaching can help turn uncertainty into clarity and fear into opportunity. Whether you’re an executive seeking career guidance, or an HR professional looking to support an exiting employee, this model and coaching approach can make a transformative difference.

Career transitions are rarely easy, but they don’t have to define us. By focusing on Curiosity, Compassion, Courage, and Honesty, we can navigate this time with resilience, intention, and hope. The Career Transition Model is a roadmap through the turbulence, helping you emerge stronger, wiser, and ready for what’s next.

If you’re ready to take the next step or want to offer meaningful support toy our team, let’s connect.

For more information on executive coaching or to explore how this model can support you or your team, contact me at www.leslierohonczy.com.

#CareerTransition #ExecutiveCoaching #LeadershipDevelopment #GrowthMindset #HRSupport

SUCCESSFUL MERGERS: How Coaching Transforms Change from the Inside Out

Corporate mergers are high-stakes, high-pressure events that can determine the trajectory of an organization for years to come. Yet, despite the billions spent on due diligence, integration planning, and cultural assessments, one critical factor remains underutilized: executive coaching. Research consistently shows that leadership development and coaching during mergers lead to better financial outcomes, smoother transitions, and stronger organizational alignment. So why do so many companies ignore this powerful tool when they need it most?

The High Cost of Overlooking Leadership Development in Mergers

Organizations often delay investing in leadership development and coaching during a merger due to the belief that there is "no time for coaching now." However, prioritizing executive coaching during a merger can actually save time and money, mitigate integration challenges, and enhance long-term success. Consider these research-backed insights:

Cost Reduction

• Reduced Integration Costs: Poorly managed mergers can increase costs by 15-30% due to inefficiencies (EY, 2022). Leadership coaching helps teams anticipate challenges, resolve conflicts efficiently, and minimize redundancies (McKinsey, 2021).

• Return on Investment (ROI): The ICF Global Coaching Study reports an average coaching ROI of 5.7 times the initial investment. PwC’s analysis indicates an ROI of seven times the cost of employing a coach.

• Turnover Reduction: Misaligned cultures and uncertainty during mergers lead to higher turnover. Leadership coaching improves engagement, reducing turnover by up to 40% and saving replacement costs, which can be 1.5 to 2 times an employee’s annual salary (Harvard Business Review).

Efficiency Gains

• Improved Productivity: According to the International Coach Federation (ICF), 70% of coaching clients report improved work performance, and 51% note enhanced team effectiveness.

• Accelerated Decision-Making: Leaders receiving coaching are 86% more likely to make effective, timely decisions (Leadership Quarterly), preventing costly delays.

• Faster Integration Timelines: Companies with strong leadership during mergers report up to 22% faster integration timelines (McKinsey, 2021).

• Reduced Inefficiencies: Leadership alignment initiatives can reduce post-merger inefficiencies by 30% (Deloitte, 2022).

Change Management & Culture Integration

• Increased Likelihood of Success: Research by Boston Consulting Group shows that coaching senior leaders boosts the probability of successful transformations by over 70%.

• Stronger Stakeholder Confidence: Organizations demonstrating proactive leadership during mergers experience 20% higher stakeholder confidence (Boston Consulting Group, 2022).

• Cultural Alignment: Up to 70% of mergers fail due to cultural incompatibility (Deloitte, 2020). Leadership coaching helps integrate differing corporate cultures, unifying teams toward a shared vision.

• Higher Employee Retention: Companies prioritizing leadership coaching during mergers experience 40% higher employee retention rates (Boston Consulting Group, 2023).

Leadership Development: The Key to a Unified Strategy

• Stronger Leadership Strategies: Mergers with aligned leadership are 33% more likely to achieve their objectives (PwC, 2022).

• Better Team Performance: Executive coaching has been shown to increase team performance by 50%, fostering better communication and collaboration.

• Collaboration Gains: Harvard Business Review (2021) found that executive coaching programs led to a 70% improvement in cross-functional team collaboration during mergers.

• Increased Leadership Confidence: 95% of leaders report better utilization of new leadership behaviors after coaching, and 94% report increased confidence (International Coaching Federation).

• Improved Integration Outcomes: Companies investing in leadership development during mergers see a 25% improvement in integration outcomes (McKinsey, 2023).

Research on Executive Coaching in Mergers

If you’re still skeptical about the power of coaching in mergers, consider these groundbreaking studies:

• "Coming Together: A Grounded Theory Study of the Role of Coaching in the Mergers & Acquisitions Process" (2021) – Heiki Thomas & Jonathan Passmore found that coaching mitigates pressures and tensions, improving leadership, culture, and communication (CoachHub).

• "Guiding Through Turbulent Times: Coaching During Merger and Acquisition" (2024) – This qualitative study highlights how coaching supports employees in coping with merger transitions (Taylor & Francis Online).

• "Leadership Strategies for Improving Mergers and Acquisitions Performance" (2020) – Walden University research underscores the necessity of leadership development for post-merger integration success (Walden ScholarWorks).

• "Why a Winning Leadership Team Matters for M&A Strategy" (2022) – Korn Ferry identifies leadership development as a key predictor of M&A success, reinforcing the need for executive coaching (Korn Ferry).

Make Coaching Your Competitive Advantage

Organizations that invest in executive coaching during mergers are better positioned to reduce costs, improve efficiency, and accelerate integration timelines. Coaching equips leaders with the skills to navigate complexity, drive performance, and inspire their teams through uncertainty.

The question isn't whether you can afford to invest in leadership coaching—it’s whether you can afford not to.

If your organization is navigating a merger or acquisition, and you’re looking to align, integrate, and thrive in this high-stakes transition, let’s connect. Book a discovery call today to explore how executive coaching can be your secret weapon for merger success.

FORGET THE OFFICE: CAN YOU COMMAND A ROOM OVER ZOOM?

MASTERING VIRTUAL EXECUTIVE PRESENCE IN A HYBRID WORLD

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

In a surprising twist, it looks like hybrid work isn’t going anywhere. Even as many companies are calling employees back to the office, recent data shows that hybrid work arrangements are actually growing.

In fact, 43% of U.S. companies have adopted hybrid policies in 2024, up from 29% the previous year. Here in Canada, hybrid work has become a significant aspect of our professional landscape. According to the C.D. Howe Institute, 26% of paid employees worked remotely in some way by the end of 2023, with hybrid models becoming increasingly prevalent. And according to the HR Reporter, 74% of Canadian business leaders have reduced their traditional office space by adopting hybrid models, resulting in average annual savings of about $400,000. And experts predict that even with an increase in return-to-office mandates, hybrid models will remain a significant part of the professional landscape through 2025.

As physical offices give way to blended virtual workspaces, the concept of executive presence has undergone a dramatic transformation. This dual reality requires leaders to master executive presence across both physical and virtual environments – to project authority, inspire trust, and foster connection through a screen. Making this shift requires a unique set of skills and strategies to help leaders command a room, even when the room is entirely digital.

THE NEW RULES OF EXECUTIVE PRESENCE

Executive presence has traditionally been defined by traits like confidence, poise, and the ability to connect with others in person. In virtual and hybrid environments, these traits are still crucial, but how we demonstrate them has shifted.

Here are the new rules:

1. Clarity is King: In a virtual setting, clarity in communication takes precedence. Leaders who articulate their ideas succinctly, and as transparently as possible, help to ensure their messages resonate, even without the benefit of physical cues like body language.

2. Non-Verbal Communication Matters More Than Ever: While body language in a physical space conveys authority and confidence, in virtual settings, it’s about how you use your voice, facial expressions, and gestures that appear within the frame.

3. The “Halo Effect” of Technology: Your tech setup (lighting, sound quality, and background) contributes significantly to how we are perceived. A well-lit and professional-looking environment can enhance our credibility.

4. Authenticity Rules: Let people see your personality (see my previous article ‘What’s Your ‘Ness’ and are you making the most of it?’). In a world of polished LinkedIn profiles and pre-recorded webinars, showing genuine authenticity stands out, because people connect with leaders who are transparent, relatable, and human.

STRATEGIES TO BOOST VIRTUAL LEADERSHIP PRESENCE

Here are a few strategies you can experiment with, to help you develop your virtual leadership presence:

Master Your Delivery

Your delivery – how you communicate your message – is critical:

• Storytelling: Put what you want to say in the form of a story. It’s how we humans learn and process information best.

• Intentional Pauses: Strategic pauses can emphasize key points and give your audience time to process your message. Resist filling your pauses with additional information. Use silence to your advantage.

• Active Listening: Demonstrate active listening by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and summarizing key points shared by others and why they resonated with you. Become aware of your listening style, and the mitigants you can use to remain present.

• Language: Be precise and concise. Avoid jargon and focus on clear, impactful language. Say what you mean and avoid over-massaging key points – your cautious wordsmithing may cause your point to be lost on others.

• Empathy: Acknowledge challenges and emotions, especially during difficult discussions. Authentic empathy builds vulnerability-based trust.

Manage Your Virtual Energy

The way you demonstrate your engagement and enthusiasm for what you’re talking about can help your audience deeply connect with your message:

• Eye Contact: Look directly at the camera to simulate eye contact. This small gesture creates a sense of connection and engagement. If you’re sharing presentation slides, stop presentation mode as soon as you’re able, so that participants can see your face fully.

• Facial Expressions: Smile when appropriate and use expressions to mirror the emotional tone of the conversation. Grow your awareness of what your face does when someone disagrees with you, presents a surprising point, or delights you.

• Hide Your Self-View: Once you’ve become familiar with your facial expressions, hide your self-view, so that you can’t see your own image. This simple move will improve your presence and help you to come across more authentically.

• Pace and Tone: Speak at a measured pace and modulate your tone to convey your energy and engagement. A monotonous delivery will lose your audience.

• Gestures: Use hand gestures within the frame to emphasize key points but avoid overdoing it.

Optimize Your Tech Setup

Your environment is your stage, and every element contributes to the impression you leave:

• Lighting: Natural light is ideal, but if that’s not an option, invest in a ring light or other soft lighting options to illuminate your face evenly.

• Camera Angle: Position your camera at eye level to simulate a face-to-face conversation. Avoid angles that look up at or down on you, as these can distort perception.

• Audio Quality: Poor audio can be distracting, and detract from your message, so invest in a clear and professional-sounding microphone.

• Background: Virtual backgrounds are acceptable but shouldn’t be distracting or overly artificial. Choose simple and professional options.

Measuring Your Virtual Executive Presence

How do you know if you’re succeeding in projecting a strong virtual executive presence? Here are some indicators you can use to measure your performance:

• Engagement Metrics: Are participants actively engaging with you during virtual meetings? Do they ask questions, participate in discussions, and provide feedback?

• Feedback: Solicit feedback from trusted colleagues, peers, other leaders, or mentors. Ask them to observe your virtual interactions and provide constructive feedback and ideas for improving your virtual presence.

• Self-Assessment: Record your virtual meetings and watch them back to identify areas you can improve, such as pacing, tone, clarity, or visual setup.

THE FUTURE OF EXECUTIVE PRESENCE

As the workplace continues to evolve, so will the expectations for executive presence. Leaders must stay adaptable, learning to leverage new technologies and approaches to lead their diverse and distributed teams well. Executive presence is no longer confined to physical spaces. It’s about making an impact, whether you’re face-to-face or behind a screen. The tools and strategies outlined here will help you embrace this new reality and thrive in the digital age of leadership.

Are you ready to elevate your virtual executive presence? Schedule a free consultation call with me today to explore how executive coaching can help you lead with impact, clarity, and confidence.

LOOK BACK TO MOVE FORWARD: 3 Steps to Define Your Year Ahead

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

We’re approaching the end of November, and before you know it, this year will be over. If you’re like many executives and leaders I work with, the past eleven months have likely been a whirlwind of decisions, problem-solving, and strategic pivots.

Now, as the year draws to a close, this cacophony of demands are competing loudly for our attention: year-end deadlines, deliverables, and objectives, holiday plans, and a persistent pressure to think ahead. It can feel overwhelming, much like the relentless blanket of tinny holiday music playing everywhere this time of year.

It’s so easy to get lost in this din, but what if we took a powerful pause? What if we step back from the hustle of deliverables and the noise of social expectations, to reflect on the year we’ve just experienced? Reflection isn’t just a feel-good exercise; it’s a leadership tool that turns hindsight into insight. This single act of pausing to reflect could be a game-changer for the road ahead.

As high-performing leaders know that impactful forward momentum often starts with purposeful reflection. In my executive coaching practice, I encourage clients to conduct an annual ‘Year in Review’ practice. This process goes beyond tallying wins and losses; it’s a focused exploration of the intentions you set at the start of the year, the journey you’ve been on (both professionally and personally), the lessons learned from their experiences, and where they want to go in the future. It’s about uncovering patterns – positive and negative, identifying and challenging limiting beliefs, clarifying priorities, and laying the foundation for intentional growth.

The timing for this exercise is perfect. Starting your reflection in early December gives you the space to recalibrate before diving into the new year. So, let’s hit the pause button for a moment. Before you dive headfirst into planning what’s next, take a moment to ask yourself two critical questions: How did I get here? And where do I want to go next?

STEP 1: Reflect on Your Year

Think of your life as a book, with each year representing a new chapter. This is your opportunity to review the chapters that have already been written, to uncover recurring themes, to see how this year’s chapter fits into your overall story, and to decide how you want the next chapter to unfold.

Start by setting the stage for your review:

• Find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted.

• Bring tools that help you capture your thoughts: a journal, digital notebook, or voice recorder app.

• Set aside at least an hour for this process to ensure depth and focus.

Now, dive into these reflection prompts:

1. What worked?

Look back at the moments when you felt aligned, accomplished, brave, energized, or proud. What decisions, habits, or relationships contributed to those successes? One of my clients, am SVP at an insurance company, discovered that her most impactful projects came from effective delegation. Not only did this alleviate her capacity challenges, but it also created a career development opportunity for an up-and-coming Director. This insight became a catalyst for how they would revamp their talent development system the following year.

2. What didn’t work?

This isn’t about self-criticism—it’s about curiosity. What efforts didn’t pan out, and why? Where did things feel off-track? What unproductive or unintended results emerged? A client once shared how, through this reflection practice, he realized that at the beginning of every year, he would overcommit himself in Q1 by taking on too many projects that didn’t align with his long-term goals. Once he identified this pattern, it allowed him to shift his approach: he committed to saying “no” more often in the future, making the mental space for him to be more discerning with what he said “yes” to.

3. What surprised you?

It’s often the unexpected moments - both positive and challenging - that shape us the most. Did you navigate a crisis with grace and strength you didn’t know you had? Did you make spontaneous decisions that led to amazing outcomes? Were you surprised at what opportunities opened up as a result of trusting your instincts?

4. What will you leave behind?

Growth requires creating space for what truly matters, which often means letting go of what no longer serves you. Is it a limiting belief? An unproductive habit? Or perhaps a role or commitment that no longer aligns with your values? As you reflect, remember to think of your life as a book: How will you clear the page to write a meaningful next chapter?

STEP 2: Choosing Your Word of the Year

Once you’ve sifted through your reflections, it’s time to look ahead with clarity. One simple but profound way to focus your intentions is by choosing a Word of the Year.

This word acts as your North Star—a guiding principle that helps you make decisions, prioritize, and stay grounded in what matters most. It’s less about setting rigid goals and more about defining the energy, mindset, or intention you want to carry into the new year.

How to Choose Your Word

1. Look for themes in your reflection.

What patterns emerged from your review? If you noticed a need for better boundaries, perhaps your word is No. If your highlights revolved around creativity, your word might be Innovate. The CEO of a national manufacturing company told me about a bold experiment he tried last year: launching a pilot program to test same-day delivery in select locations. The program required cross-departmental collaboration, quick problem-solving, and innovative thinking - qualities he loved seeing in action. To his surprise, the program not only exceeded revenue projections but also revealed untapped talent and creativity within his team. He realized that these results were born from taking calculated risks and empowering his team to innovate. He set a clear intention for the next year: to prioritize initiatives that foster collaboration and bold experimentation. As a result, he intends to scale up the business next year while keeping his team engaged and motivated.

2. Think about your aspirations.

What would make 2025 feel successful - not just professionally, but personally as well? One client, a CFO balancing high stakes work with parenting, chose the word Presence to remind herself to stay engaged in the moment, whether at the office or the dinner table.

3. Make it personal and inspiring.

Avoid words that feel trendy or vague. Your word should resonate deeply with you. Once you’ve chosen your word, give it a place of honor. One of my clients wrote hers on the first page of her planner. Another set it as a weekly calendar reminder. And another created a colourful painting of her word to hang in her office. These small acts keep the intention front and center.

Here are a few examples of words and the themes they can represent. Remember that your word should be deeply meaningful to you, so if you don’t see one that really resonates for you, find a word that does.

• Abundance: Focusing on opportunities, growth, creating a mindset of plenty rather than scarcity.

• Alignment: Ensuring your actions, values, and goals are in harmony.

• Authenticity: Leading with your true self, building trust, encouraging openness.

• Balance: Managing work, life, and personal well-being with greater harmony.

• Clarity: Clear vision, focused decision-making, and transparent communication.

• Collaboration: Working more closely with others, creating synergies, building stronger teams.

• Confidence: Strengthening self-belief, taking decisive action, trusting your judgment.

• Connection: Building deeper relationships with your team, peers, clients, family.

• Courage: Taking bold risks, making tough decisions, stepping out of your comfort zone.

• Empowerment: Giving yourself and others the tools, authority, and confidence to take initiative.

• Focus: Prioritizing what matters most, eliminating distractions, staying on track.

• Freedom: Gaining autonomy in your decisions, actions, lifestyle choices.

• Generosity: Giving more of your time, knowledge, or resources to support others.

• Gratitude: Fostering appreciation for both big wins and small victories, finding joy in everyday moments.

• Growth: Personal development, business expansion, learning, career development.

• Impact: Making meaningful contributions, both professionally and personally, that leave a lasting legacy.

• Inclusion: Fostering an environment where all voices are heard, valued, and respected, promoting diversity and equity in decision-making, ensuring equal opportunities for all.

• Innovation: Introducing new ideas, processes, technologies that drive change.

• Integrity: Staying true to your values, being authentic, holding yourself accountable.

• Joy: Finding fulfillment and pleasure in both work and personal life.

• Mastery: Committing to honing your skills, becoming an expert, excelling in your field.

• Mindfulness: Staying present, reducing stress, cultivating awareness in every aspect of your life.

• Patience: Cultivating the ability to wait, listen, allow things to unfold at their own pace.

• Presence: Being fully engaged in the moment, enhancing focus, being mindful in your interactions.

• Purpose: Deepening your understanding of what truly drives you and aligning your actions with your mission.

• Resilience: Bouncing back from challenges, maintaining strength in tough times, staying adaptable.

• Service: Helping others, adding value to your community, creating a positive influence.

• Simplicity: Streamlining processes, reducing clutter, focusing on what truly matters.

• Sustainability: Prioritizing long-term health, work-life balance, eco-friendly practices in your personal and professional life.

• Transformation: Embracing change, personal reinvention, leading transformative projects or teams.

• Vision: Creating a compelling future, setting ambitious goals, inspiring others.

STEP 3: Bridging Reflection and Action

Reflection and intention-setting are valuable on their own, but their true power lies in translating them into action. Here are a few ways to bring the process to life:

1. Turn your lessons into strategies: For example, if you noticed a pattern of over-committing, create a filter you can use for saying “yes” in the future. One of my clients asks herself, “Will this move me closer to, or further away from my vision?” before agreeing to new projects.

2. Anchor your word in your habits: Let’s say your word is Balance. What specific changes will help you live that word? Perhaps it’s blocking off time for self-care or limiting after-hours emails. Or looking for as many examples of balance in your life as you can find – what we go looking for, we usually find.

3. Share your word: Accountability is a game-changer. Share your word with a coach, mentor, trusted friend, or family member. One leader I worked with even shared hers with her entire team, framing it as a shared commitment to living the value of Transparency.

WHY THIS MATTERS

Leadership is about more than just driving results - it’s about intentional growth. Taking time for a Year in Review and choosing a Word of the Year isn’t just a reflective exercise; it’s a powerful leadership development practice.

When you understand where you’ve been and where you want to go, you can lead yourself - and others - with clarity, purpose, and confidence.

As the saying goes, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” Before the December cacophony takes over, pause to reflect on your story so far, so you can be intentional about the next chapter you’re about to write.

YOUR TURN

Ready to give this a try? Schedule some reflection time before the new year. And when you’ve chosen your Word of the Year, I’d love to hear it, so message me!

Here’s to closing this year with insight, and to writing the next one with intention and greater awareness. Onward to your next great chapter!

POWERFUL QUESTIONS & WHERE TO FIND THEM

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com 

As a leader, your role often involves sharing your wisdom and experience with employees, peers, partners, and superiors. But before offering advice, ask yourself a powerful question: “How might I help this person to create insights and grow awareness through asking a powerful question?”

You’ll know you’re on the receiving end of a powerful question by the impact you feel from its weight. A powerful question sparks significant "a-ha" moments, suddenly illuminating new perspectives, provoking insight and new awareness, and acting as a catalyst for personal and professional growth. The power of a powerful question is undeniable.

When we’re on the receiving end of a powerful question, our brains naturally go looking for an answer. We’re wired for it. But the effectiveness of this process largely depends on how, when, and what type of question is asked.

One of the most common questions I encounter in my coaching and leadership training sessions is, “What makes a question ‘powerful,’ and where can I find them?” Unfortunately, there’s no standard cheat sheet of powerful questions you can tuck into your back pocket and whip out when you need a good one – it just doesn’t work that way. The most powerful questions are created in the moment, born of genuine curiosity, emerging from what we’re hearing, and intended to create new insights.

THE NATURE OF POWERFUL QUESTIONS

Powerful questions prompt people to think in new ways, leading to new insights, actions, or commitments. They are delivered with a keen sense of timing and rapport, respecting the individual's current state. For instance, consider asking, “I understand this is a big decision for you and that it naturally causes some anxiety. How do you think you’ll feel once the decision is made and you’re ready to move forward?” This question acknowledges the present concern and guides the person towards visualizing a positive outcome.

Questions can vary greatly in their effectiveness. Closed-ended questions typically yield yes or no answers and may not encourage deeper thought. On the other hand, 'good enough' questions offer some value, helping individuals explore their feelings or instincts. For example, asking a colleague, “What does your instinct tell you to try next?” might help them tune into their intuition. However, the most impactful questions expand awareness while inspiring action. Avoid questions that merely suggest a course of action or present a laundry list of possible solutions without engaging deeper thinking.

WHAT MAKES A QUESTION POWERFUL?

The intention behind your question is critical; it should be to create new awareness in the other person. This requires genuine care and curiosity, with questions often starting with "What," "When," "How," "Who," or "If." Notice that “Why” isn’t listed. If you ask your employee "Why haven't you made a decision?", they may not know why. A more powerful question might be, “What are you most concerned about in making this decision?” This encourages the person to reflect on underlying fears or concerns.

DISCOVERING POWERFUL QUESTIONS

To find powerful questions, you must listen carefully to uncover the real issue and what's beneath the surface of what's being said. Stretch your thinking and encourage others to do the same. Often, the simplest questions are the most powerful. “What’s next?” “How will you do that?” “What might get in your way?” and “What do you want?” Listening attentively allows you to tailor your questions to the person's unique situation.

But not all questions are created equal. Avoid closed-ended questions and those that suggest solutions disguised as questions. For instance, asking, “Why don’t you try X?” is not as effective as asking, “What options have you considered?” Additionally, avoid multiple-choice questions that can overwhelm the person with choices. The most effective questions are open-ended and invite exploration, without fishing for specific answers.

EXAMPLES OF POWERFUL QUESTIONS

• "What would you like to achieve by the end of this 1:1 coaching conversation?"

• "What would you like more of in your life? Less of?"

• "If you could change just one thing right now, what would it be?"

• "What's the first (or easiest) step you could take within the next week?"

• “What are you avoiding? What do you NOT want to look at or talk about?”

• "How does that serve you?"

• “How might you show up differently if you weren’t worried about being judged”?

• "How will you celebrate reaching that milestone? Describe how it will feel to achieve it."

• “What do you need to see, feel, have, or do, in order to be brave?

• "What are you taking away from this conversation today?"

CHARACTERISTICS OF GREAT QUESTIONS

Three aspects make questions great: curiosity, authenticity, and fluidity. Great questions are curious: they reflect a genuine interest in the person’s experiences, beliefs, and assumptions. It’s essential to be comfortable with silence after asking a question and avoid filling the space with more words. Great questions are authentic: they do not lead the person to a preconceived answer.

Instead, they are open and exploratory. And great questions are fluid: they adapt, based on the responses you receive as the conversation evolves. If a question doesn’t yield a clear answer or deeper insight, approach the issue from a different angle.

TIPS FOR ASKING POWERFUL QUESTIONS

1. Minimize "why" questions: These can often be unproductive for two reasons: they may put the person on the defensive; or the person may not know ‘why’ they behave a certain way. Instead, get more specific in your question.

2. Avoid sharing similar experiences: Resist the ‘me too’ urge and stay in exploration mode with your employee. Their experience may feel familiar, but it’s not the same as your experience. Sharing your experience may come across as ‘counterfeit empathy’, stealing the learning opportunity away from your employee, and the coaching opportunity away from you.

3. Embrace silence: Give the person time to think and respond without rushing to fill the gap. This is especially true for more introverted types, who prefer to think before speaking. If you ask a great question, and then add more details to fill the silence, you’re interrupting their think time. Learn to sit in silence while someone processes your question.

4. Avoid multiple-choice questions: It isn’t helpful to offer potential ‘right answers’ (e.g.: “Did you miss the deadline because you’re over-capacity, or just not interested in this project?”). The truth may be completely different than the two choices you offered, but the question has them focused on which choice is closest to their truth. Multiple-choice questions can limit exploration and overwhelm the person.

THE COURAGE TO ASK QUESTIONS
Asking questions rather than offering advice takes courage. It requires you to resist the urge to provide solutions and instead foster a space where others can develop their own understanding and solutions. This process not only helps them grow, but also strengthens your mentoring and coaching abilities.

While there is no handy, back-pocket list of powerful questions (because they arise from what you’re hearing), Michael Bungay Stanier’s book "The Coaching Habit" is an excellent resource for learning how to amp up your question game. It delves into the various question types and provides practical examples to enhance your skills.

SEVEN AWESOME QUESTIONS TO GET YOU STARTED
While there isn’t a handy ‘cheat sheet of powerful questions’ to pull out when you’re stuck, thanks to Michael Bungay Stanier, author of The Coaching Habit, here are seven CATEGORIES of questions that can be super helpful:

1. The KICKSTARTER Question: It's a great opening question that replaces small talk with something a little crunchier. For example, ‘So what's on your mind today?’ This question says, "Let's talk about the thing that matters most to you."

2. The AWE Question: That's A.W.E., which is an acronym for ‘and what else?’ This magic little question creates a lot more wisdom, insight, self-awareness, and possibilities out of thin air. ‘And what else’ can also be ‘and who else’, or ‘and why else’, or ‘how else’.

3. The FOCUS Question: This helps you to help someone focus on and solve the right problem. It can help them grow a new problem-solving muscle while demonstrating that you're really interested in their input and can also help drive accountability and engagement.

4. The FOUNDATION Question: Sometimes this can cause a deer-in-the-headlights reaction in that the person may not be able to answer your question. That's okay… ask it anyway. It's planting a seed that they can reflect on which will create new insight for them and help them untangle their wants from their needs. For example, ‘What do you want and what is really driving that want?’

5. The LAZY Question: Sometimes, in our good intentions to be helpful, we can kind of get in the way. If, for example, we step in and take over or become too directive, it can create an unintended but uncomfortable power dynamic between the two of you. Instead, simply ask, ‘How can I help?’ An even more direct version of this is ‘What do you want from me?’ Just make sure that your tone is positive on that one.

6. The STRATEGIC Question: This is focused on what NOT to do. It helps your employee to be really clear and committed to their yeses, bringing clarity to both of you. For example, you can ask, ‘So if you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?’

7. The LEARNING Question: According to neuroscience research, most classroom learners will not retain most of the content they’re taught, unless they can put it into action quickly, actively processing and integrating the information. You can help to create the space for those learning moments when meeting with your employees. When they return from a conference, training session, or workshop, ask what was most useful to them in that learning experience. This helps them really make the connection between new information, and what's already within their awareness.

FUTURE OF LEADERSHIP: Innovative Leadership Development

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

Imagine that we lived in a world where traditional leadership skills are obsolete; replaced by a need for constant innovation, adaptability, and lifelong learning. In this scenario, the old playbook for leaders is no longer sufficient. Clearly, what got you here, won’t get you – and your organization – where you need to go.

The question isn't whether you're keeping up with the latest trends—it's whether you're anticipating the future and preparing for it today. Tomorrow’s effective leaders aren't just competent; they're curious, agile, emotionally intelligent, and relentlessly focused on personal and organizational growth.

Let’s explore some of the innovative leadership development methods that can help you ‘future-proof’ your skills and cultivate a culture of continuous learning within your organization.

Experiential Learning Beyond the Classroom

Experiential learning isn't just the latest leadership buzzword. It's a proven, innovative, and dynamic approach that puts leaders in real-world scenarios, enabling them to develop their leadership skills through direct experience.

Unlike traditional classroom settings that focus on downloading theory and information to students, experiential learning helps leaders learn by doing. Think of it as the difference between reading about the physics of balance required to ride a bike without falling, versus actually hopping on a two-wheeler and learning by feeling it for yourself. Sure, you can read all you want about balance, but until you can experience the physical sensation of it, with all the subtle adjustments and awareness required, it’s just theoretical, and not yet ‘in your bones’. 

For example, imagine taking part in a simulation where you’re leading a complex project launch. In this scenario, you must guide your cross-functional team through the entire project lifecycle, from initial planning to execution and post-launch evaluation. Team members come from different departments, each with their own priorities, challenges, methodologies, and processes. Your role as the leader is to navigate these dynamics, align the team's efforts, and ensure clear communication and decision-making for a successful project delivery.

Scenarios like these are powerful learning opportunities that let leaders experience delegation, conflict resolution, and motivational skills in real-time, and help embed nuanced learning and insights about managing diverse teams. Putting theory into practice in this way improves learning retention, raises self-awareness and skill levels, and is a great opportunity to evaluate your strengths and gaps.

Another example involves a "leadership rotation" where leaders switch roles with their peers, to lead a different division or function. Over a set period, they must lead their temporary teams to address specific challenges, like managing a product recall or launching a new customer loyalty program. This rotation not only provides a holistic view of the business, which helps grow these leaders to be ready for the next level of leadership but also challenges them to adapt their leadership style to different team dynamics and operational demands.

Coaching, Mentoring, and a Hybrid Model: The Best of Both Worlds

Coaching focuses on the "inner game" of leadership. Working with a coach, or holding peer coaching circles, can help leaders identify and overcome limiting beliefs, improve self-awareness, develop emotional intelligence and awareness of others’ ‘wiring’, adapt their style to different communication preferences, set boundaries, and hold others accountable.

Mentoring brings in practical, hands-on experience. Mentors are typically further down the road that the mentee is traveling. They share their experiences, providing real-world examples of what works and what doesn't, valuable insights about specific challenges, and advice and strategies based on their personal experiences. Sometimes mentors are less experienced, as in the case of ‘reverse mentoring’, where young employees mentor senior leaders about emerging culture and industry trends, and first-hand customer experience challenges.

Bring these two powerful concepts together, and you have a hybrid coaching and mentoring program that pairs a new executive with an experienced coach to work on growing their leadership EQ (emotional intelligence) while also having access to a mentor who has led similar projects and is willing to share their guidance. The beauty of this model is its versatility—it can be tailored to the specific needs of the leader, whether they require more focus on personal growth or practical business acumen (which may fluctuate over time).

Resilience and Agility: Thriving in Uncertainty

We hear a lot about ‘resilience’ and ‘agility’ in leadership books and articles, often in the context of coping with an increasingly volatile and unpredictable world. Think of this dynamic duo of skills as your leadership compass that helps you navigate the complexities of your business. Resilient leaders can withstand setbacks and adapt to new challenges, while agile leaders are quick to pivot and embrace change.

But resilience isn't just about bouncing back from adversity; it's about thriving while you’re knee-deep in challenge. It involves cultivating a positive mindset, practicing self-care, and maintaining a sense of purpose. A resilient leader views a ‘failed’ project not as a defeat but as a learning opportunity. She prefers to reframe the outcomes as ‘unintended results’ and explores all aspects of the engagement with curiosity, specifically to grow and improve her leadership skills, improve the process, and empower her team.

Agility, on the other hand, is about being flexible and open to new ideas. It's the ability to shift gears quickly in response to changing circumstances. Agile leaders are not bogged down by rigid plans; instead, they are comfortable with ambiguity and willing to experiment. This helps you quickly adapt to new technologies, crises, shifting business strategies, or emerging opportunities.

Leaders can cultivate these skills through practical exercises like scenario planning and resilience training workshops, peer coaching, and executive coaching. Scenario planning involves imagining various future scenarios and developing strategies for each. This exercise helps leaders think on their feet and prepare for the unexpected. Resilience training might include mindfulness practices, stress management techniques, and workshops on fixed and growth mindsets, and positive psychology.

Empathy and Virtual Presence: Leading from Afar

Empathy and virtual presence have become critical in the age of remote work. With teams often spread across different locations, leaders who find new ways to connect and communicate create engaged, successful teams. And that means empathy is more important than ever. The ability to understand and share the feelings of others helps leaders build trust, foster collaboration, and support teams' well-being.

In a virtual environment, empathy is expressed through active listening, open communication, and genuine interest in team members' experiences. For example, during video calls, leaders can ask about their team's well-being, show appreciation for their work, and acknowledge their challenges. This practice not only strengthens relationships; it also fosters a supportive and inclusive culture.

Practicing empathy also involves actively seeking feedback from team members and taking the time to understand their unique perspectives and concerns. This feedback loop is essential for continuously improving virtual leadership and ensuring the team feels heard and valued.

Being "present" even when not physically co-located is not only possible, it’s a core skill for leaders in the future. There are several ways to develop your leader presence and influence through digital platforms:

• Set the tone for digital engagement by mastering and proficiently using collaboration platforms like Zoom, Microsoft Teams, or Slack yourself. When you embrace and model using these collaboration tools, and a myriad of others that surely will follow, you’ll streamline communication and improve engagement for your organization. It will also make you more accessible to your employees, a key factor in employee engagement.

• And speaking on engagement, set clear expectations about engagement, communication, and transparency. Have a team discussion about how and when you expect team members to engage, define the service level agreements for responding to emails or messages, identify the preferred channels for urgent issues versus casual updates, and the level of transparency expected in communications.

• Host virtual town halls regularly to communicate important updates, share organizational news, and connect with the team. These meetings provide a platform to address your entire organization, answer questions, and offer insights into the company's direction. They also allow employees to voice concerns, ask questions, and feel heard. Regular town halls help maintain transparency and keep everyone informed, reinforcing a sense of community and shared purpose.

• Video updates from leaders can be a powerful way to communicate key messages, especially when they require a more personal touch, such as a briefing on company performance, reassurance during crisis management, key departure information, emerging opportunities, and new initiatives announcements. Leaders can use video to explain the reasoning behind certain decisions, with nuanced context that written communications might lack. This transparency in decision-making helps build trust, as employees can see the thought process and considerations that contributed to your decisions.

• Spontaneous check-ins (I call them ‘J5’ meetings: ‘just five minutes’) are similar to the random encounters in hallways or lunchrooms when we’re in person. Try instant messaging an employee with a quick thank you for sending you an interesting article. Ping someone a birthday wish. Ask a question to help a colleague discover a new perspective. These casual, informal connections go a long way to building team engagement and cohesion.

Encouraging Lifelong Learning: Never Stop Growing

Leaders who commit to lifelong learning not only enhance their own capabilities but also set a powerful example for their teams. Start by creating a culture where it’s safe to be curious and experiment. Being transparent about your own learning journey means that you share links to great articles, insights from the books you’re reading, and takeaways from workshops, webinars, and online courses you enjoyed. This simple leadership move not only demystifies the learning process but also inspires others to invest in their development. And employees who attend industry conferences, participate in cross-departmental projects and pursue further skills development help to foster a culture of continuous improvement.

In the future, employees will look for ample learning opportunities as part of their employee experience, beyond the standard mandatory training programs. One effective approach is to provide access to online learning platforms like Coursera, LinkedIn Learning, or Udemy, where employees can explore courses on a wide range of topics at their own pace. This flexibility allows them to tailor their learning to specific interests and career goals. You might even arrange internal workshops and training led by industry experts or in-house career development and learning specialists.

And, while you’re establishing a learning culture in your organization, build in the expectation for employees and leaders to ‘teach back’ what they learned while attending seminars, workshops, conferences, or courses. Encouraging employees to share their expertise through lunch-and-learn sessions, blogs, or peer coaching builds the foundation for a knowledge-sharing culture, helps disseminate knowledge across the organization, and empowers employees to take ownership of their learning journey.

If you’re looking for innovative, diverse learning opportunities to help grow your leadership into the future, reach out to explore Executive Coaching and Leadership Development, at www.leslierohonczy.com.

BUILDING EXECUTIVE PRESENCE: Elevate Your Impact

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

As a leader on a career path to the Executive floor, you may have been told to invest in developing your ‘executive presence’. That term gets tossed around in leadership development discussions and HR conversations, often without a frame of reference for what it means or the specific actions required to develop it.

WHAT IS EXECUTIVE PRESENCE?

Pinning down a singular definition can be elusive. Definitions will vary across corporate cultures and can be influenced by the company’s strategic goals, your leader’s ‘wiring’, HR’s leadership competencies and talent grid criteria, the company’s culture around the level of accountability, the scope of decision-making at each leadership level, and your own beliefs about what it means to "take up your leadership space."

What constitutes executive presence in a brand-new tech startup might look very different from what it means in a traditional legal firm. But at its core, executive presence is the ability to project confidence, gravitas, and authenticity that inspires, influences, and steers the organization toward success.

ENABLER #1: AUTHENTICITY

Think about someone with an amazing leadership presence who you’ve observed in action. They likely come across as strong in their convictions, well-engaged with people, and passionate about ideas. They probably seem genuine in their thoughts and emotions and exude a balance of confidence, humility, and curiosity.

 In fact, a compelling leadership presence is fuelled by authenticity. There’s little point in projecting a false, curated version of yourself. For one thing, people can often suss that out a mile away; for another, it inhibits your ability to be present with others, or your capacity to focus on what’s happening in the moment. The drive to control others’ perceptions of you is performative and focused on the fear of others’ judgment. This ‘protection instinct’ can often get in the way of truly authentic executive presence.

Think of your leadership authenticity as a magnet, attracting people to you. When you are present, and demonstrating your authenticity, others will want to offer you their authentic selves as well. As I’ve covered in previous articles, the higher up in leadership you climb, the less willing people may be to speak truth to power. But when you can show up authentically, and fully present, you allow others to become present, too. They feel seen and heard by you and it becomes safer for them to tell you what they really think.

When your leadership presence brings out others’ authenticity, you elevate everyone. And authenticity is required to build trust with others. Trust doesn’t rely on facades. It lets others reveal their true thoughts and selves. And speaking of trust…

ENABLER #2: FIVE Cs of TRUST

Executive presence is the medium through which trust and ideas travel. Trust is the conduit of influence, and the only way to establish real trust is by being present. trust allows us to accept the possibility of failure while knowing that if we fail, we won’t be knocked off our axis as a result. And each of us pays attention to distinct aspects of trust, depending on our unique wiring.

Here are the ‘5 Cs of Trust’ – see if you can determine which one is your go-to, and which one(s) you want to experiment more with:

1. CONSISTENCY: How reliable we are to do what we say we will, and how intentional we are about our yeses and our nos. Our consistency can be observed in our actions, in how we hold ourselves accountable for commitments. It’s how we do what we say we’ll do, when we say we’ll do it.

2. COMPETENCE: Our abilities, standards, skills, and demonstration that we know what we’re talking about. It’s part facts, knowledge, theory, and skills; and part presence (how we look, act, speak, and communicate). It’s also humility to say we don’t know, when we don’t, instead of pretending to know more than we actually do. People often see through smoke and mirrors eventually.

3. COMMITMENT: Some people look for the passion in someone’s eyes to know they are trustworthy. Making our commitments visible helps inspire the trust of others. Commitment helps us have productive conflict that moves everyone forward.

4. CONNECTION: The focus is on creating close, open, accepting connections, others will open up to us more easily because they trust that we won’t judge or criticize them when they’re being vulnerable. They feel seen and heard and can be themselves when they most need to.

5. CARE: We show that we’re concerned with the welfare of others, rather than pushing our agenda solely for our own benefit. Showing care for others looks like being a good listener, genuinely wanting to understand others’ experiences and emotions, and help them. We demonstrate care with our congruent words and actions. Caring also means offering your observations and feedback with candor, to help the other person grow their awareness (care isn’t about being ‘nice’ while withholding important information the person needs in order to grow).

ENABLER #3: POWER SOURCING

Understanding the difference between personal power and social power is essential for developing executive presence.

Personal power is an internal resource that fuels your most confident and authentic self. It’s about being open, optimistic, and willing to take risks. Personal power gives us the ‘power to’ control our own emotions, states, and behaviors. It’s limitless and rooted in self-assurance, enabling us to lead with integrity and resilience. Personal power is driven by self-confidence and authenticity. Personal power fosters trust and open communication. Personal power is sustainable and grows with self-awareness and continuous improvement.

Social power, on the other hand, is about dominance, influence, or control over others. It’s a finite resource focused on having ‘power over’ others. Social power often seeks control and can lead to fear-based leadership, which undermines trust and collaboration. Social power is driven by a need for control and dominance. It can create fear and reduce team morale. Social power has limited longevity and can diminish over time because it depends on external validation.

As you grow your executive presence and experiment with balancing personal and social power, remember to dial up intimacy, not intimidation. Building relationships based on trust, empathy, and genuine connection is far more effective than exerting control. Contrary to the common myth, power doesn’t corrupt; it reveals. How you wield power, whether personal or social, reflects your character. Choose to lead with personal power to inspire and elevate those around you.

ENABLER #4: NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

What we say with our bodies is far more extensive than what we say with our words. Non-verbal communication, including body language, facial expressions, gestures, and sounds, is a critical aspect of developing your executive presence.

Your body language should be congruent with your words, and when it’s not, others notice. A confident posture, firm handshake, and steady (although not creepily long) eye contact can convey authority and assurance. Standing tall with shoulders back and head held high projects confidence and readiness. Using hand gestures to emphasize points conveys enthusiasm and creates a powerful, engaged presence, but overuse can be distracting. Be mindful of your facial expressions to ensure they align with your message. Remember that when we’re under stress, others will believe our non-verbal reactions before our words.

ENABLER #5: ACCURATE SELF-ASSESSMENT

Developing executive presence requires a willingness to self-assess, seek feedback, experiment and adapt, and to continuously improve. Regularly observing your behavior in different situations, taking note of what works and what doesn’t, and then reflecting on your interactions will help you acknowledge your strengths, and identify areas for improvement.

Actively seeking feedback from colleagues, mentors, and peers can provide valuable insights into how others perceive your executive presence. Based on these third-party observations, and your own self-assessments, you can experiment with adjusting your approach and behaviors to see what resonates best with you and your audience.

Your commitment to ongoing growth and development (through experimentation, books, workshops, coaching, mentoring, and leadership trends) will enhance your executive presence over time.

SELF-OBSERVATION EXERCISE

To understand and develop your own executive presence, try this self-observation exercise:

1. Reflect on Influential Leaders: Think about leaders you admire. What qualities do they possess that contribute to their executive presence? Is it their communication style? Their ability to stay calm under pressure? Their knack for inspiring others? What is it that resonates for you?

2. Identify Your Strengths and Weaknesses: Take an honest inventory of your own leadership traits. Where do you excel? Where could you improve? Consider seeking feedback from trusted colleagues to gain additional insights.

3. Notice Where Your Power Comes From: Notice how you source your power. Is it an internal resource that helps you manage your emotions? Does it feel authentic or performative? Is it about dominance, influence, or control over others? What evidence do you check to know you’ve got the right balance?

4. Observe Your Body Language: Pay attention to how you carry yourself in different situations. Do you stand tall and make eye contact? Make yourself smaller to avoid confrontation? What small adjustments to your posture and gestures might change how you are perceived?

5. Evaluate Your Communication Skills: How effectively do you convey your ideas? Are you clear and concise, or rambling? Practice active listening and aim to be more deliberate in your speech.

Developing your executive presence is a continuous journey that requires self-awareness, humility, courage, and consistent practice.

If you're ready to take your executive presence to the next level and elevate your impact as a leader, I invite you to reach out and connect with me for Executive Coaching development. Together, we will create a tailored plan to enhance your inspirational leadership skills, build your confidence, and ensure you’re making the impact you aim to achieve.

BUILDING TRUST UPWARD: Strategies for New Managers

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

Congratulations on your new leadership role!

As a new manager, your natural focus will be on getting to know your new employees and building team trust. And it’s equally essential for your success and the smooth functioning of your team to focus on building trust with your own leader and your peers.

Investing in building trust with your leadership team fosters open communication, facilitates collaboration, and can significantly contribute to your own professional growth and career advancement.

Here are strategies to help new managers build trust upwards, with examples of some common challenges you may experience as a new leader, and some of the best practices you can experiment with.

UNDERSTANDING COMMON CHALLENGES

1. Navigating Unfamiliar Dynamics: New managers often face unfamiliar organizational dynamics and may struggle to understand their bosses' and peers' priorities and expectations.

2. Balancing Authority and Approachability: Striking the right balance between being authoritative and approachable can be difficult, especially when dealing with more experienced peers or superiors.

3. Managing Perceptions: New managers must carefully manage how they are perceived to establish credibility and avoid being seen as inexperienced or overconfident.

BEST PRACTICES TO OVERCOME CHALLENGES

1. Effective Communication

Example: Imagine a new manager, Sarah, who has just taken over a team in a large organization. Sarah regularly updates her boss on her team's progress through concise, clear reports and sets up bi-weekly one-on-one meetings to discuss key issues and seek feedback.

Practice: Maintain transparent and consistent communication. Share progress updates, challenges, and successes openly. This shows that you are proactive and accountable.

Tip: Utilize tools like project management software to keep everyone informed and reduce misunderstandings.

2. Building Relationships

Example: Praveen, a new manager, takes the initiative to invite his peers for casual coffee meetings. During these informal chats, he learns about their projects, challenges, and how they prefer to work, fostering a sense of camaraderie and understanding.

Practice: Invest time in building relationships with your peers and superiors. Show genuine interest in their work and offer your support where possible.

Tip: Attend cross-departmental meetings and social events to expand your network and understand the broader organizational landscape.

3. Demonstrating Competence and Reliability

 Example: Emily, a newly promoted manager, consistently delivers on her promises. When she commits to a deadline, she meets it or communicates any potential delays well in advance. Her boss and peers quickly learn that they can rely on her.

 Practice: Be dependable and consistent. Meet your deadlines, keep your promises, and be prepared for meetings. Demonstrate your competence through your actions and decisions.

Tip: Document your achievements and challenges, and be ready to discuss them during performance reviews or informal check-ins.

4. Seeking and Acting on Feedback

 Example: Tom regularly seeks feedback from his boss and his peers. He then takes actionable steps to address any concerns and shares his progress with those who provided the feedback, showing that he values their input.

 Practice: Actively seek feedback and act on it. This shows that you are committed to continuous improvement and value the perspectives of others.

 Tip: Use tools like anonymous surveys or suggestion boxes if direct feedback is not forthcoming.

5. Leading by Example

 Example: Mei leads by example by adhering to the company's values and ethics. And when her team experiences conflict , Mei supports them by modelling transparency, and by facilitating problem-solving conversations that explore assumptions and collaboration challenges. This demonstrates her commitment to the team’s success and earns their respect and trust.

 Practice: Model the behavior you want to see in others. Show integrity, respect, and dedication in all your interactions.

 Tip: Highlight and reward examples of positive behavior in your team, reinforcing the standards you set.

WHAT ‘SUCCESS’ LOOKS LIKE

 As we’ve explored, building trust upward as a new manager requires a combination of effective communication, relationship-building, reliability, openness to feedback, and leading by example.

 Here are two examples to illustrate how new managers can establish strong, trust-based relationships with their bosses, their leader’s bosses, and their peers, by addressing common challenges with these best practices.

CASE STUDY 1 | Transforming Team Dynamics

 Michael, a new manager at a tech company, faced resistance from his team and peers due to his young age. By consistently communicating his vision, involving his team in decision-making, and demonstrating his technical expertise, Michael gradually earned their trust. His efforts culminated in a successful product launch that exceeded company expectations, earning him accolades from his boss and peers.

 Situation: Michael was promoted to manage a team of experienced software developers. Some team members doubted his capabilities due to his age and perceived lack of experience.

 Actions Taken:

• Communication: Michael held a series of team meetings to clearly communicate his vision and goals for the team. He encouraged open dialogue and invited team members to share their thoughts and concerns.

• Involvement in Decision-Making: He involved his team in key decisions, such as choosing the technology stack for a new project. This inclusion made the team feel valued and respected.

• Demonstrating Expertise: Michael took the lead on a critical part of the project, showcasing his technical skills and problem-solving abilities. He also organized knowledge-sharing sessions where team members, including himself, could present on their areas of expertise.

 Outcome: The team's initial skepticism turned into respect and trust. The collaborative approach led to innovative solutions, and the project was completed ahead of schedule with high-quality results. The successful product launch earned Michael recognition from his superiors and helped him solidify his leadership role.

 Try-Its:

• Hold Regular Team Meetings: Schedule weekly or bi-weekly meetings to discuss project progress, address concerns, and share updates.

• Encourage Open Dialogue: Create a safe space for team members to voice their opinions and ideas without fear of judgment.

• Lead by Example: Take on challenging tasks and demonstrate your expertise to inspire confidence in your team.

CASE STUDY 2 | Overcoming Initial Resistance

 Linda, a new marketing manager, found herself at odds with a more experienced peer who felt overlooked for the promotion. Linda addressed the issue head-on by inviting her peer to collaborate on a high-visibility project. By acknowledging her peer's expertise and working together, they developed a strong working relationship, and her peer became one of her biggest advocates.

 Situation: Linda was promoted over a colleague, James, who had more years of experience in the company. James felt slighted and was initially uncooperative, creating tension in the department.

  Actions Taken:

• Open Conversation: Linda invited James for a coffee to discuss his concerns. She listened actively and acknowledged his feelings, expressing her respect for his experience and contributions.

• Collaboration: Linda proposed that they co-lead a major marketing campaign, leveraging James's expertise and her fresh perspective. She delegated key responsibilities to James, empowering him to take charge of important aspects of the project.

• Recognition: Throughout the project, Linda publicly recognized James' contributions, in team meetings and reports to upper management.

 Outcome: James appreciated Linda's approach and began to see her as a collaborator rather than a rival. Their combined efforts led to a highly successful marketing campaign, which significantly boosted the company's brand visibility. This success not only improved their working relationship, it also earned them both praise from senior executives.

 Try-Its:

• Address Conflicts Early: Don’t ignore tension or conflict. Address it openly and constructively.

• Leverage Strengths: Identify and utilize the strengths of your team members, giving them opportunities to shine.

• Acknowledge Contributions: Publicly recognize and celebrate the contributions of your peers and team members.

THE ART OF TOUGH CONVERSATIONS: Best Practices for Leaders

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

In the realm of leadership, tough conversations are inevitable. And no matter how high your level of seniority is, the challenging emotions we might experience during these interactions can be uncomfortable. Whether delivering critical feedback, discussing performance issues, or, perhaps most challenging of all, letting someone go, these conversations are an integral part of your leadership accountability.

 As an executive coach, I've helped many leaders navigate the emotional and professional complexities in preparing for challenging conversations. Here are some of the challenges I’ve seen senior leaders wrestle with, and some of the best practices to consider when preparing for tough conversations.

THE CHALLENGES

Emotional Toll | The emotional burden of tough conversations can be significant. Leaders often feel a sense of personal responsibility and empathy towards their employees, making the act of delivering bad news particularly stressful. This emotional toll on the leader can lead to procrastination, avoidance, and increased anxiety. For example, you may hesitate to let an underperforming team member go because you know the individual is going through personal hardships, such as a family illness. Your empathy can make it difficult to separate your personal feelings from your professional responsibilities.

 Maintaining Professionalism | Balancing empathy with professionalism is crucial. Leaders must convey the necessary messages without letting their emotions cloud their judgment or delivery. Striking this balance is often easier said than done, especially when the conversation has significant consequences for the employee. For example, during a performance review, you may feel tempted to downplay negative feedback to avoid hurting the employee’s feelings. However, this could lead to misunderstandings about the seriousness of the issues and hinder the employee's growth.

 Legal and Ethical Considerations | Navigating the legal and ethical implications of difficult conversations, particularly terminations, adds another layer of complexity to an already-challenging discussion. Ensuring the conversation is conducted fairly, respectfully, and in compliance with legal standards is essential to avoid potential repercussions. For example, when terminating an employee, ensure that the specific reasons for termination are well-documented and legally sound to prevent claims of wrongful dismissal or discrimination. This requires careful preparation and adherence to HR policies and legal guidelines.

BEST PRACTICES & ‘TRY-ITS’

Preparation is Key | Thorough preparation is vital for any tough conversation. Leaders should clearly outline the key points they need to convey and reflect on likely potential reactions from the employee. Practicing the conversation beforehand can help in articulating thoughts more clearly and confidently. Try-it: Before a meeting to discuss a significant performance issue, prepare by reviewing the employee’s performance records, noting specific incidents that illustrate the problem, and rehearse how to present this information in a clear, constructive, and respectful way.

 Be Direct but Compassionate | Honesty is crucial, but it must be balanced with compassion. Be direct about the issues at hand, but also express empathy and understanding. This approach helps to respect and maintain the person’s dignity while clearly communicating the necessary message. Clear is kind. Try-it: When informing an employee about their termination, you could say, “This decision was incredibly difficult, and I understand it’s a lot to take in. We’ve seen a consistent pattern in performance that hasn’t improved despite our efforts, and we need to make this change. I’m here to support you through this transition.”

Create a Safe Environment | Conduct the conversation in a private, comfortable setting where the employee feels safe. This environment encourages open communication and helps manage the emotional intensity of the situation. Ensure there are no interruptions and that the focus remains on the conversation topic. Try-it: Schedule the conversation in a private office or a neutral, quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. This setting helps the employee feel respected and ensures the conversation remains confidential.

 Listen Actively | Active listening is a critical skill during tough conversations. Allow the employee to express their thoughts and feelings without interruption. Acknowledge their emotions and show that you value their perspective. This approach fosters a sense of respect and understanding, even in difficult circumstances. Try-it: If an employee reacts emotionally to feedback, you might respond, “I hear that you’re feeling frustrated and upset. Your work is important to us, and I want to understand your perspective. Let’s talk more about what’s been challenging for you.”

 Provide Support and Resources | When letting someone go, offer support and resources to help them through this transition. Support could include outplacement services, references, or guidance on the next steps. Demonstrating your commitment to their well-being, especially through their departure, conveys that you care about them, and that the company is committed to supporting them. Try-it: After informing an employee of their termination, you could offer, “We’ve arranged for outplacement services to help you find your next opportunity. They’ll be really helpful in helping you navigate the next steps to finding the role that’s right for you.”

 Follow Up | After the conversation, follow up with the employee to ensure they are coping well. This could be a brief check-in or offering additional support if needed. For remaining team members, communicate about the change to the team as transparently as possible – while respecting the departing employee’s confidentiality – and address any concerns they might have. This will help you to monitor morale and trust within the team, as forced departures tend to create fear and anxiety in remaining employees. Try-it: A few days after a tough conversation with your employee, reach out to them with an email or call, saying, “I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. If you need any additional support, please let me know.” And when an employee has been terminated, you can say to the remaining employees, “I want to address the recent changes and reassure you that we are here to support each of you through this transition. I won’t communicate the specific reasons for the departure, because I’m respecting their privacy, but I invite your questions and concerns.”

As a leader, tough conversations are part of your role. Embrace challenging conversations as opportunities to foster growth and resilience within your team and organization and as a leadership development opportunity. These experiences will not only help you strengthen your leadership, but they can help you cultivate a culture of candor and accountability in your organization.

CHANGING BEHAVIOUR BY CHALLENGING ASSUMPTIONS

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

Do you ever find yourself lost in thought, unaware of what's really going on in your mind? Many of us move through life on autopilot, unconsciously navigating our daily routines. This mental shortcut is often helpful—imagine having to think about every step of making coffee each morning! Thankfully, our brains have already made a mental map of the rooms and daily behaviors that we typically engage in. We don’t have to make every little decision consciously – where the light switch is located, how many steps to the sink, where the cups are located, how to make the tap water flow – these are all done on autopilot, reserving our cognitive brain power for more important things.

This autopilot mode becomes evident when we arrive at work without remembering the commute or realize we've nodded through a meeting without absorbing a word. We might even snap, "I'm not mad!" when we're clearly upset. These moments show how much we operate on unconscious patterns.

But what if we could expand our awareness and become more intentional about our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions? By practicing 'intentional noticing,' we can step outside our immediate experiences, view them from new perspectives, and uncover hidden insights that can transform our mindset and behavior.

Awareness isn't easy; we often live subject to our perceptions, believing our beliefs and behaviors are fixed parts of our identity. You might see yourself as shy, conflict-averse, or unable to learn new skills. These self-narratives can limit us, driving unconscious beliefs and actions.

The goal of this coaching practice is to foster self-awareness, identify limiting beliefs, and generate fresh insights. It helps you explore unseen possibilities and guides you toward your aspirational self. By turning 'subject' into 'object,' we can examine what's causing our discomfort, gaining clarity and new choices.

Instructions: Five Steps to Unpack Limiting Beliefs

Find a quiet spot and spend 30 minutes reflecting on the following five questions. Capture your thoughts in a journal as the foundation of your actionable plan.

Step 1: WHAT - Identify the Limiting Belief

Name the belief driving the behavior you want to change. For instance, if you see the world as dangerous, you might avoid speaking up in meetings, focus on safety, and shy away from conflict. For example: "I believe it’s unsafe to speak up, so I stay quiet to avoid drawing attention."

Step 2: WHAT IS - Gather Supporting Evidence

Identify evidence you use to support this belief. You might focus on negative news, crime statistics, and potential risks. For example: "I worry about criticism and negative feedback, ruminating on times when others were shut down or ridiculed for their ideas."

Step 3: WHAT ELSE - Seek Opposing Evidence

Find evidence that contradicts your belief. Ask how you are safe right now, what systems maintain order, how risks can be beneficial, and what rewards may be possible as a result. For example: "When I think about it, there have been meetings where colleagues who spoke up were praised for their input, and their ideas led to productive discussions. My workplace values open communication and has structures in place for respectful dialogue."

Step 4: WHAT IF - Imagine a New Behavior

Visualize how you would act if the limiting belief weren't true. Consider how you'd behave differently and the potential positive outcomes. For example: "If I believed it was safe to speak up, I would share my ideas confidently during meetings, knowing that my contributions are valued and can lead to positive changes. I would engage more actively in discussions and build stronger relationships with my colleagues, and would be recognized for my contributions."

Step 5: WHAT NOW - Experiment with New Actions

How might you experiment with behaving this way now? Start small and gradually build your confidence in acting against your limiting belief. For example: "In the next team meeting, I'll prepare a few points I want to share. I'll start by making a small comment or asking a question to ease into speaking up. Over time, I'll present my ideas and perspectives regularly, inviting feedback and discussion from my colleagues."

HAPPY EXPERIMENTING!

For more coaching and leadership development practices, visit www.leslierohonczy.com.

BREAKING BUSY: Toxic Productivity and the Dark Side of Hustle Culture

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

 In a world that glorifies hustle, many of us have fallen into the toxic productivity trap: the relentless drive to be constantly busy and accomplished, often at the expense of our well-being. This obsessive pursuit of success can become a destructive cycle, leaving us feeling guilty when we're not working, dissatisfied and exhausted when we are.

But what if there was a way to break free from the chains of toxic productivity? What if we could redefine success in a way that allowed us to mindfully embrace downtime, set boundaries, allow support, and hold ourselves with compassion?

The Productivity Pressure

For many, the pressure to be productive is a constant companion. It urges us on, driven by societal expectations, cultural norms, and the pervasive influence of social media that features perfect, shiny people in states of perpetual productivity. The underlying message is clear: to be valuable, we must be busy, accomplished, and continuously achieving.

I’ve wrestled with toxic productivity for most of my life. I remember always feeling ‘antsy’ in stillness and rarely let myself become truly bored. If boredom somehow snuck through my defense shields, I would twitch and whinge for awhile, and then try to find ways to self-sooth, usually through creative ideation (aka having a party in my head) just so that I would feel productive in some way. Of course, that’s been beneficial in some ways: for channeling creativity, innovation, and problem-solving, for example. But this kind of productivity also has a dark side: it’s been a relentless taskmaster that leaves no room for stillness; only a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) gnawing feeling of guilt tied to the perception of laziness, or an anxious feeling that I’ve wasted precious time that could have been used more productively. And when I haven’t kept it in check, this constant drive has led to stress, overwhelm, and a sense of not being ‘enough’, no matter how much I achieved.

Even now, people frequently comment on my busyness and level of output. There’s no denying that a part of me that finds it energizing to list the ‘productive’ activities I love so much: executive coaching, team and leadership development sessions, mentoring coaches, making Coaching Minute videos, songwriting, recording and producing original music, rehearsals and live performances, teaching music, writing articles like this one, book events, painting and making jewellery. FUN!! And yet… there’s also considerable discomfort when I read it all in one sentence, because it reveals how deeply I’ve internalized the need to be constantly producing. The concept of 'rest' becomes intertwined with laziness, further fueling a toxic cycle of productivity, guilt and anxiety.

Perhaps this experience resonates for you, too.

The Personal Experience of Toxic Productivity

The internal conflict between the urge to 'do' and the need to 'be' is a common struggle. On one hand, there is a drive to meet deadlines, achieve goals, and maximize every moment. On the other, there’s a longing for peace, for time spent in the present without the looming shadow of the next task. This dichotomy can lead to significant mental and emotional distress. When we're not actively producing, we might feel a pervasive sense of worthlessness or fear that we're falling behind. This can manifest in various ways: stress, burnout, irritability, and physical health issues. When this happens, we know that our productivity has become toxic.

Toxic productivity can show up in different ways: you may seem to others to really have it all together, but you may secretly be battling a constant need to outperform your last achievement. Perhaps you come across as always on top of your game, but you are sacrificing your personal life and mental health to maintain that image. And as much as you’d like to think you’ve got it under control, toxic productivity is not a solitary experience. Many people around us, regardless of their background or profession, can be impacted by our toxic productivity, as they struggle with similar feelings.

The signs of toxic productivity include restlessness and difficulty relaxing, a constant need to be busy, resistance or discomfort with boredom, feeling guilty during downtime, and an inability to enjoy leisure activities without thinking you should be working or producing something useful.

Addressing toxic productivity requires a multifaceted approach. Here are some strategies to help break free from its grip:

Redefine Success

Success has long been equated with constant productivity and visible achievements. However, this narrow definition overlooks the importance of personal fulfillment and well-being as measures of true success. When we expand our understanding of what it means to lead a successful life, we recognize that a balanced integration of achievement with personal satisfaction, happiness, and health is what defines true success.

Consider my client, Laurie, a C-suite executive who, after years of non-stop work, realized she was deeply unhappy despite a long list of professional accomplishments. She began to redefine success by setting goals that included spending quality time with her family, travelling to bucket list destinations, pursuing hobbies, and prioritizing her mental health. As she shifted her focus, Laurie found that she felt more content and balanced in all aspects of her life. She was surprised to discover that her productivity didn't diminish, as she had expected it would; instead, it became more meaningful as it was aligned with her broader sense of purpose and values.

By redefining success, we begin to value moments of joy and relaxation as much as we value career milestones. Wouldn’t it be great if we could feel equally fulfilled by completing a 30-minute meditation as we would by signing a new client. Radical, I know! But this shift allows us to see downtime not as wasted time, but as essential to our overall success.

Redefining success can help mitigate the anxiety associated with feeling unproductive. When we no longer see productivity as the sole measure of our worth, we free ourselves from the constant pressure to perform. This liberation can lead to a healthier, more sustainable work and personal life.

Ultimately, redefining success is about creating a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling, beyond just the narrow definition and metrics of productivity. It encourages us to celebrate our achievements in all areas of life, including those that might not traditionally be recognized, such as personal growth, relationships, and self-care.

Set Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial for maintaining a healthy balance between our work and personal lives. Creating clear lines that separate work time from leisure time, ensuring that one does not encroach on the other, is essential for preventing burnout and preserving mental health.

Travis, the owner of an online marketing business, and self-proclaimed king of the side hustle, used to work around the clock, often sacrificing weekends and evenings to meet client demands. He was proud of the fact that he was a workaholic, and held it as a badge of honour, until he had a medical emergency that was stress-induced. Realizing the toll this was taking on his health and relationships, Travis knew he had to start setting some firm boundaries. He adjusted his pace and communicated his specific working hours to his clients. Outside of these hours, he focused on personal activities and rest. Travis feared he might lose clients by not being constantly available to them, however, to his surprise, most clients respected his boundaries, and his productivity improved significantly during his set working hours. He felt more energized and motivated, and his creativity flourished as he gave himself permission to recharge.

In addition to time-focused boundaries, there are others to experiment with, like creating the physical space for work that is separate from areas designated for relaxation. This can be challenging, especially for those working from home, but even small changes can make a big difference. For example, using a specific desk and chair for work, not having a cell phone beside his bed to charge, and avoiding bringing work-related activities into the family room or bedroom will help us reinforce the mental and physical distinction between work and personal time.

Boundaries are not just about limiting work hours; they also protect and generate specific, intentional time for rest and leisure. By setting boundaries, we prioritize our well-being and ensure that we have the necessary space to recharge. This practice can significantly reduce the feelings of guilt associated with downtime, as we come to see it as a vital part of our overall productivity, health, and self-care.

Practice Mindfulness

My client, Emma, found herself constantly anxious about work. She was a rising star who believed it was her extreme level of productivity that was fuelling her success. Emma longed to be in a steady, loving relationship, but there was just no room in her life for someone else. Emma realized she needed to make some changes, and she began by incorporating some mindfulness activities into her daily routine, beginning with a simple 4-minute breathing meditation (https://youtu.be/ZM3eYRODNbc) in the morning and evening. Over time, she added short meditation sessions and mindful walks during her lunch breaks. These practices helped her feel more grounded and less overwhelmed by her to-do list. And they also helped bring her more clarity and innovation ideas. Emma was thrilled to realize that she had become even more successful by producing less.

Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and accepting it without judgment. It can be a powerful tool to combat toxic productivity by helping us focus on the present rather than worrying about future tasks or dwelling on past performance. Mindfulness teaches us to observe our thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. For instance, when we notice the feeling of guilt about not working, we can acknowledge it without letting it dictate our actions. After all, this guilty feeling is just an emotion you’re experiencing in the moment, not a directive to take action. This perspective allows us to choose a more compassionate response to ourselves and our need for rest.

Mindfulness isn’t all about sitting cross-legged and chanting ‘ohmmm’ however. We can develop the ability to be mindful and fully present right there in the thick of it! Being fully present while we’re doing tasks can improve our focus and levels of output, lead to more efficient and effective work, and reduce the overall time spent on each task, which in turn, can create more space for relaxation and leisure activities without compromising our productivity. Mindfulness enhances overall quality of life by encouraging us to savour moments of joy and relaxation, making them more fulfilling.

Embrace Downtime

Despite how it may feel, downtime is not a luxury; it's a necessity. Periods of rest are essential for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Making time to recharge and enjoy life is a true measure of success, rather than a threat to our productivity.

David, the VP of a software engineering firm, used to feel guilty every time he took a break. He was driven by the belief that constant work was the only path to success. After experiencing some early signs of burnout, David wanted to change his approach, and began an executive coaching program focused on improving his work/life balance. The simple practice of scheduling regular breaks throughout his day had a profound effect on his wellbeing. David ran with the program, and re-dedicated his weekends to rest, family, and playing sports. Over time, he noticed a significant improvement in his energy levels, personal and professional relationships, and overall job satisfaction. David was promoted to CFO shortly after and vowed to maintain this healthy balance. His commitment to protecting downtime had an ancillary effect: because he was able to model healthier behaviours for his team, the engineering firm’s corporate culture, recruiting efforts, and employee retention improved as a result.

Embracing downtime means giving ourselves permission to rest. It involves recognizing that taking a break does not make us lazy; it makes us human. Rest helps our bodies and minds recover and refuels our energy. Engaging in hobbies, spending time in nature, reading, or simply doing nothing can be valuable ways to recharge and enhance our overall sense of well-being. When we view rest as a crucial part of our productivity cycle, we can value it just as much as the work. This shift in perspective can reduce feelings of guilt and anxiety associated with rest, leading to a healthier, more balanced approach to life. Incorporating regular downtime into our schedules can also improve our relationships. When we’re not constantly preoccupied with work, we can be more present with our loved ones, fostering deeper connections and a greater sense of support and fulfillment.

Seek Support

Seeking support is a vital step in addressing toxic productivity. It involves reaching out to friends, family, or mental health professionals to share our experiences and gain perspective. Support systems can provide encouragement, validation, and practical advice for managing the pressures of productivity.

Talking about our feelings can be incredibly liberating. When we share our struggles, we often find that others have experienced similar issues, which can reduce the sense of isolation. Friends and family can often contribute valuable insights and support that help us navigate the pressures of productivity more effectively.

And when friends and family aren’t enough, professional support, such as therapy or coaching, can also be valuable. Mental health professionals can help us identify unhealthy patterns and develop strategies to change them. They can provide tools for managing stress, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion.

Support groups can also offer a sense of community and shared experience. Being part of a group where others understand our struggles can be incredibly validating and empowering, as members share practical tips and encouragement for making positive changes.

Consider Maria, a marketing director at a highly successful agency who felt overwhelmed by her workload. During coaching discussions, we discovered that her anxiety response was far beyond the scope of what can be managed through coaching alone, so I encouraged her to seek out a therapist. Through therapy, Maria learned some critical coping strategies that helped her manage her significant anxiety, and through coaching, she learned to set and hold healthier boundaries. She also joined a support group for women who were facing similar challenges, which provided a sense of community and shared understanding. This three-pronged approach to support made a tremendous difference to Maria’s quality of life.

Seeking support can transform our relationship with productivity by helping us recognize that we don’t have to face these challenges alone. It can provide the reassurance and tools we need to prioritize our well-being and redefine our approach to work and rest.

Cultivate Self-Compassion

When we’re in the throes of toxic productivity, self-compassion rarely gets a seat at the table – striving and critical self-judgment take up all the space. But cultivating self-compassion is a powerful antidote to the toxic cycle: treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer to a friend means that we recognize and tolerate our imperfections and struggles, without the guilt-inducing layers of harsh judgment.

Take the example of James, a writer who often berated himself for not meeting aggressive, self-imposed deadlines. His inner critic was relentless, leaving him feeling inadequate, and leading to signs of burnout. After learning about self-compassion as part of his assigned coaching practices, James started speaking to himself differently; with kindness and compassion; with patience, acknowledging his efforts, even when he didn’t meet his goals. This shift in mindset helped him feel more at peace and less stressed.

Self-compassion involves recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and experiences setbacks. It’s about understanding that these moments are part of being human, not signs of failure. Cultivating self-compassion changes the way we view productivity. Instead of seeing it as a measure of our worth, we can see it simply as one aspect of our lives, which reduces the pressure to constantly perform and produce.

Ultimately, self-compassion can help us build a more positive relationship with ourselves. It encourages us to celebrate our efforts and achievements, no matter how small, to be gentle with ourselves when we fall short, and to examine our personal definition of success.

Remember, in the midst of all of the doing, it’s okay to just be. Embrace the present moment and embrace rest as a vital part of a successful, fulfilling and balanced life.