THE UNSCRIPTED LEADER: When Over-Preparing is Under-Performing

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

 

 You’ve done the prep. Nailed the slides. Practiced every line. But if you’re being honest, there’s still that low buzz of anxiety in your body, making you feel unsettled, as if you’re holding your breath, hoping nothing goes off-script.

 It makes sense. When the stakes are high, over-preparing feels like a smart move. But trying to control every variable can quietly choke off your impact. Leaders who script everything often miss the moments that matter most; those unscripted, human, real-time moments where connection, trust, and credibility are built.

 And the leadership landscape today is anything but predictable. We’re navigating this post-pandemic, post-election, mid-polarization, emerging recession time that impacts every aspect of our businesses: supply chains, staffing, climate, policy, trade, employee wellness, and shareholder value. Everything is in flux. Leaders are asked to make bold decisions with often blurry or incomplete information, and to communicate clearly and confidently amid constant change. It's a big ask to show up with poise when predictability has left the building.

 But the greatest pressure may not be coming from 'out there'. It’s likely an 'inside' job.

 Feeling the need to over-prepare, over-script, and rehearse every move to avoid being seen as anything less than polished is a common executive coaching topic. One client, a brilliant and capable executive, would script every communication, rehearse for days, and second-guess himself constantly. He wasn’t lacking competence; in fact, he was overflowing with skills, capability, and drive. But he was trapped by a perfectionist inner critic. Wired for achievement and image-conscious, the more he tried to get it right, the more disconnected and stressed he became.

 This is the moment we’re in: external turbulence colliding with an internal craving for control and validation. But here’s a little nugget to hold onto the next time you’re feeling the urge to over-prepare:

 Detouring into uncertainty doesn't take you off the path. It is the path.

 So, how do you lead without a script? How do you stay fully present and in your body, in the moment, and in relationships, when the certainty you usually rely on isn’t there? How do you keep your voice clear and grounded when the pressure is rising and the path ahead is anything but obvious?

 As an executive coach, I meet clients right at this crossroads. It’s not that they need more information; they’re already swimming in data. Through coaching, they develop integration; a clearer sense of who they are as leaders; a vision for how they want to lead; and a way to tap into their internal compass to help them explore new paths with genuine curiosity. Most of all, they learn how to trust that they will find the words, the insightful perspectives and ideas, the next step, and their confidence in the moment; not because it was rehearsed, but because it was real.

 

 What Over-Preparing Steals from You

It might feel like you're taking the responsible approach, and of course, some preparation is necessary! But too much of it can dull your leadership edge.

 Here’s what can get lost in the process due to over-preparation:

  • Spontaneity. Over-scripting blocks the kind of responsive, in-the-moment connection that builds trust.

  • Presence. If you're focused on remembering your lines, you're not actually in the moment with your people, and they can often (more often than you may realize) feel the distance.

  • Curiosity. Over-prepared leaders tend to stick to their script, rather than listening for new data or perspectives that might improve outcomes or understanding.

  • Authenticity. This might be the most important one of all. When everything is polished and pre-planned, the unique qualities that make you you often disappear. And in times of change, that's exactly what people want to follow: realness, not rehearsed perfection.

 In other words, over-preparing might feel safe, but it quietly erodes the very things that make your leadership impactful.

 Here’s what I’ve learned: Leading without a script requires three things that coaching builds powerfully over time:

 

1.      VOICE CLARITY: Knowing What You Stand For
In times of uncertainty, people don’t just need direction, they need anchoring. Coaching helps leaders articulate their core values, strengths, and leadership principles so they can speak from a place of alignment, not performance. When your inner clarity is strong, you don’t need a script. You just need to show up.

 One leader I coached said, "I kept looking for the 'right' message. What I needed was to say something true, not perfect." Once she found the courage to name what she did know, and what she didn’t, her team leaned in, not away.

 

2.      PRESENCE UNDER PRESSURE: Staying Regulated When Others Are Spinning
When tension is high, people look to leaders not just for answers, but for energy regulation. Coaching helps leaders understand their own emotional wiring, build tools for emotional regulation, and manage their inner state so they can model calm in the chaos.

 One VP I worked with love the coaching practice that she called her "One-Minute Reset", a quick breathing practice combined with a reset phrase that she used before tough town halls or uncertain board presentations. She stopped trying to deliver the perfect answer. She showed up grounded, and her credibility soared.

 

3.      STRATEGIC EXPERIMENTATION: Leading with Curiosity Instead of Control
Leaders often think their value comes from having the answers. But in today's environment, it's more valuable to ask the right questions. Coaching supports a mindset shift: from prediction to experimentation. From control to curiosity.

 Instead of locking into a brittle plan, great leaders run their leadership like an innovation lab. They test. They learn. They adjust. Coaching provides the space to reflect on what’s working, what’s not, and what to try next.

  

Leading Without a Script

Leading without a script isn’t the same as leading without a net. In fact, leading without a script might just be your next level of leadership development. It is certainly a call to deepen your self-awareness and build a stronger presence through bolder experimentation. In an era of uncertainty, the leaders who rise aren’t the ones who always have the perfectly polished answer. They’re the ones who keep showing up, grounded, human, and clear on who they are.

 Leadership without a script isn’t a sign of failure. It’s an invitation to lead with more clarity, more presence, and more courage than ever before. If you’re tired of performing and ready to lead from a place of confidence and real connection, Executive Coaching can help. Let's talk about how to develop your leadership to be less filtered, more comfortably unscripted, and authentically you. 

 Reach out for a free exploratory conversation at www.leslierohonczy.com.

LEADERSHIP BOUNDARIES: How Setting Them Helps You Lead Better

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

 

If you had to write your current leadership job description, would it look more like a recipe for burnout? Deliver outstanding results. Develop every employee. Wow the board. Oh, and by the way, still have a personal life. No wonder so many leaders are overwhelmed. But real leadership isn't about doing more. It's about protecting the space to think, connect, and guide others wisely, and that starts with the boundaries you set… and keep.

I know... easier said than done. Let's dive in.

 

THE INVISIBLE BURDEN OF LEADERSHIP

If you’re a senior leader trying to do it all, you’re not alone. Many of my coaching clients describe their days as a blur of meetings, decisions, endless MSTeams conversations, strategy pivots, performance conversations, and late night emails before bed. They want to lead well, delegate decisions, grow their people, and focus on strategy. But the gravitational pull of "just getting it done" can be relentless.

I'm currently working with a senior leader who came to our coaching program showing classic signs of executive burnout: chronic sleep disruption, decision fatigue from being the go-to for every issue, and the heavy emotional load of being both the informal mentor and the motivational poster boy for the entire executive team. He was expected to guide his peers, champion innovation, and stay relentlessly positive for his employees. It wasn’t sustainable. And it wasn’t healthy and effective leadership, either.

When we explored his patterns, it became clear: he had no boundaries. We spent the next several sessions talking about how important it is for leaders to develop this skill, and how boundaries don’t restrict leadership; they enable it.

 

WHY LEADERS NEED BOUNDARIES

A healthy boundary isn’t a wall. It’s more like a fence with a gate; it lets you decide what you let in and what you keep out.

Without boundaries, your calendar fills with other people’s priorities. Your mind starts tuning into problems that don’t belong to you, like a radio stuck on someone else’s station. Before long, your leadership becomes reactive instead of strategic.

And neuroscience tells us that when your cognitive load is maxed out, your ability to think strategically and regulate your emotions drops like a stone. Without boundaries, even the most well-intentioned leaders lose their edge.

 

WHEN BOUNDARIES MATTER MOST

Lack of leadership boundaries are often visible to the naked eye (and to your colleagues) and show up in more ways than we realise. In fact, they often hide in plain sight, and can show up as:

  • Chronic overcommitment and unrealistic workloads

  • Micromanaging or difficulty delegating

  • People-pleasing and conflict avoidance

  • Constant urgency and inability to prioritise

  • Blurry role expectations or lack of clarity about who the decision-maker is

  • Emotional over-responsibility for others' stress or performance

These behaviours are clear signals that leadership boundaries have broken down. By naming the most common categories where boundaries fail, we can start to make clearer, more deliberate choices about what to reinforce, what to release, and what to reframe.

1. Decision-Making Boundaries: Not every decision should land on your desk. Get clear on what decisions belong to you, and what belongs at other levels. If your team is coming to you with every minor decision, you haven’t delegated – you’ve just distributed tasks.

2. Time and Attention Boundaries
Strategic thinking needs white space. Block it. Guard it. And stop glorifying back-to-back days as evidence of effectiveness. The best leaders protect time to think, reflect, and prepare.

3. Emotional Boundaries
Empathy is essential. But caring doesn’t mean carrying. Leaders who absorb everyone's stress eventually become the stressor. Learn to support without overidentifying.

4. Role Boundaries
Are you leading the work, or doing the work? The higher you go, the more your value lies in thinking, direction-setting, and people leadership. If you're still the fixer, you're limiting your team's growth and your own impact.

 

WHY SETTING BOUNDARIES FEELS SO HARD

While we're at it, let’s name the elephant: what often makes boundary-setting hard is the corporate culture itself. Many leaders work within management systems that reward over-functioning. Inside an over-achieving culture, people often wear their workaholism as a badge of honour ("Look at me! I'm SO busy!").

And as if that wasn't enough, leaders don’t just have to wrestle with their own beliefs about boundaries – they also face pushback from above. The boss who frowns at you for blocking thinking time in your calendar. The praise lavished onto the ones who work late or respond instantly; always 'on'. This creates a culture of conformity, where boundary-setting feels like rebellion or even dereliction of duty. 

When leaders are so steeped in this culture that they feel there's no choice but to grind themselves into the ground, what should they do?

  • Frame boundaries in terms of business impact. (“I block two hours a week to think deeply about our strategy. It helps me bring sharper insight to our executive meetings.”)

  • Find allies who are also hungry for a healthier way to lead, and have leadership culture conversations with each other. A rising tide lifts all boats.

  • Get curious about the nature of this culture you’re part of, and what's driving it. What stories are being told about what leadership should look like? Who benefits from that story staying in place?

Remember: your organisation may not change overnight, but your choice of boundaries can influence the system more than you think. Boundaries sound simple, but our resistance is real, because many leaders have limiting beliefs about setting them; that saying no means you're not a team player; that availability equals leadership; and that if they don’t do it, it won’t get done right.

These beliefs aren’t loyalty, and they are certainly not serving you or your organization. They’re over-functioning habits dressed up as commitment. And they cost us trust, team development, innovation, and time we’ll never get back.

 

THREE STRATEGIES TO BUILD STRONGER LEADERSHIP BOUNDARIES

If you're ready to experiment with boundaries but aren’t sure where to begin, here are three practical starting points.

1. Frame Boundaries as a Leadership Service
The next time you’re tempted to jump in and solve a problem, ask yourself: Am I helping them grow? Or am I rescuing them because it's faster? Boundaries create space for others to learn, decide, and lead.

2. Practice Micro-Scripts for Protecting Boundaries
Have a few simple phrases at the ready, to pull out when you need them:

  • “That decision belongs with you. What are you leaning toward?”

  • “I’m booked right now. Can we talk tomorrow when I can give you my full attention?”

  • “Let’s clarify where this decision lives on our team.”

  • "My capacity is full at the moment, but I can take that on next month."

Boundaries don’t have to be dramatic. They just need to be consistent.

3. Create a Boundary Map
Try this exercise:

  • List your current commitments.

  • Label them: Keep, Delegate, or Revisit.

  • Then ask: What boundary would protect and ensure my best contribution?

Small boundary shifts create big ripple effects. 

If you want to dig deeper, you can check out the resources in my previous articles. Each offers additional practices and insights that complement this one:

 

HERE'S YOUR INVITATION

Boundaries aren’t just a self-care practice. They’re a discipline of high-performing leadership. Your boundaries model what’s healthy for your team. And your organisation. (And yes, for your family, too.) Boundaries don't make you less available, they make you more impactful. 

So here's your invitation: define your role not by what you can handle, but by what only you should handle. Think of your leadership boundaries not as 'selfish', but as the highest form of respect: for your team, your mission, and yourself.

Want to explore how setting healthy leadership boundaries could transform your leadership impact? I offer a free discovery conversation to help you explore how executive coaching can strengthen your boundaries, resilience, and strategic leadership. Let's connect.