WHAT’S ‘RIGHT’ WITH YOUR LEADERSHIP: Focusing on 'What’s Strong', Not ‘What’s Wrong'

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

I read a comment recently on LinkedIn that hit me like a brick: “Every article I see is about what NOT to do.”

It's true! We spend a lot of time on this platform talking about what leaders need to improve: gaps to close, skills to develop, behaviours to fix, limiting beliefs to ferret out and overcome. I have read an endless stream of articles promising to help leaders improve all different aspects of their leadership skills. Hell, I've even written a pile of those articles!

It's not just LinkedIn; so many leadership posts, podcasts, and frameworks focus on what we’re doing wrong and how to do better. Now, I love a good stretch goal. But what if the secret to growing as a leader isn’t focusing solely on fixing what’s wrong, but it’s in noticing what’s right.

When we only ever start with what’s missing, we miss something important: the opportunity to build on what’s already strong, to get more of what’s already working. What’s already in you.

So, let’s try something different. Let’s take a short detour from the relentless pursuit of self-optimisation, and take a good, generous look at what’s already right. Not because you’ve “arrived”. But because that’s where the gold is.

WHAT IF YOUR STRENGTHS ARE HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT?

Here’s something I’ve seen again and again in coaching sessions: people often don’t recognise their own brilliance. Why? Because it comes so naturally to them, they assume it’s nothing special.

I had a coaching client who was struggling to identify her leadership superpowers. “I’m just doing my job,” she said, genuinely baffled. But when I interviewed each person on her team, as part of a coaching observation program, they all talked about how deeply they felt seen and heard by her; how she was able to synthesize competing priorities into clear action steps; and how she made people feel calm in the midst of the chaos of change they were navigating.

When I pointed out that none of this made it onto her self-assessment, she started to see herself differently. It took some digging, but eventually she could acknowledge that while her leadership wasn't flashy, it was stabilising and quietly powerful; the kind of leadership that people trusted.

She hadn't realised that it was a strength because it didn’t feel 'hard'. When something feels easy, it’s easy to overlook. But often, that’s the sign that it’s one of your strengths.

THE EXPERIMENT: ‘REFLECT + RECOGNISE’ PRACTICE

Grab a pen, and let’s take five minutes and experiment with flipping this script.

Instead of asking what you need to fix, try these instead:

• What have I done in the past month that felt satisfying or energizing?

• When did I feel most like myself as a leader?

• What feedback have I received that surprised me in a good way?

• What comes easily to me that others find difficult?

• Where have I had a positive impact recently, even if it wasn’t in my job description or span of control?

You might be surprised by what emerges. The goal here isn’t to build a brag list. It’s to surface the invisible strengths that are already part of your leadership fabric.

TURNING UP WHAT’S WORKING

There’s a place for closing gaps and learning new skills, of course. But if you want to grow your leadership skills quickly and sustainably, start by turning the dial up on what’s already resonating.

Ask yourself:

• What’s one thing I do consistently well?

• How might I use that strength in a new or more intentional way?

• Where is that strength underused right now?

For example, if you're naturally great at drawing people into a shared purpose, how might you apply that gift to a new cross-functional initiative that’s been stalling? If your team always feels heard in 1:1s, but you’re less visible in larger meetings, what would it look like to bring that same presence to group settings?

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about intention and precision.

THE ‘BLIND SPOT’ OF YOUR OWN GENIUS

Here’s a simple coaching question that I’ve used hundreds of times:

“What do people often come to you for?”

Not what’s in your job description. Not what you think your value is. But what people actually seek you out for.

Sometimes the answer is strategic clarity, or empathy, or decisiveness, or storytelling. Sometimes it’s humour, or calmness under pressure, or the ability to translate ideas into action.

Whatever it is, that’s your gold. And once you know what it is, you can choose to lean into it even more deliberately.

You might even start to enjoy your leadership more.

FROM SELF-IMPROVEMENT TO SELF-RECOGNITION

The leadership development world doesn’t often say this out loud, but I’m going to: You’re probably doing better than you think.

And even if you have areas you want to grow, that growth becomes easier when it’s built on a foundation of confidence, awareness, and strength.

So take a breath. Notice what’s already working. And give yourself permission to get really good at more of that. Because sometimes the best way to grow is to notice what’s already working for you and others.

Would you like a powerful framework to uncover your own invisible strengths and learn how to use them more intentionally in your leadership? Reach out. That’s the kind of conversation I love to have.

THE FEMALE EXODUS: Why Ambitious Women Are Walking Away

Leslie Rohonczy, IMC™, PCC, Executive Coach, Leadership Expert, Speaker, Author

Something strange is happening in leadership circles.

Talented, ambitious women, the ones who exceed their targets, who juggle the complexities, and make it all look seamless, are quietly stepping away. Not in protest. Not amid scandal. They’re just… done. One day, they’re leading strategy sessions; the next, they’re posting a warm ‘thank-you and goodbye’ on LinkedIn, as they head off into something “new.”

 And you may notice the quiet that usually follows. No raised eyebrows; no real post-mortem. Just another departure, tidily wrapped in gratitude and discretion. But these exits aren’t just personal choices. They’re signals.

 Across Canada, women in senior roles are opting out, not because they lack ambition, but because they’re tired of carrying it alone. They’re stepping back from leadership paths that reward over-functioning and downplay values.

 These departures aren’t dramatic - they’re deliberate. Thoughtful. Carefully curated. And under the polished, optimistic “grateful-for-the-opportunity” posts, something important is happening.

SOMETHING IS SHIFTING

 If it feels like more women are quietly disappearing from leadership pipelines, it’s because they are. According to McKinsey’s Women in the Workplace report (2024), women leaders are exiting their roles at the highest rate ever recorded. Grant Thornton reports that female CEOs in Canada dropped from 28 percent to 19 percent in just one year. A 2023 article in Forbes highlights how misaligned values, persistent bias, and burnout are causing women to step away before they even reach the top.

Yet these stories often go untold. Why? Because most of these women leave well. No drama. No takedowns. Just a respectful goodbye and a professional fade to black.

WHY THEY WALK

Burnout doesn’t always come with a breakdown. Often, it looks like a woman who still shows up, still performs, still keeps the wheels turning, but feels like she’s holding everything together with invisible thread.

She’s the one who gets it done. The one who absorbs the emotional load, smooths the conflict, mentors the junior staff, remembers the context, and catches what others drop. She’s indispensable, until she’s depleted. And when she finally says, “I can’t keep doing this,” it’s not because she’s weak. It’s because she’s done the mental math and realised the cost.

Sometimes there’s a defining moment: the promotion that goes to someone else, the boardroom idea she raised that’s applauded when someone else repeats it. But more often, it’s an accumulation; a slow wearing down. One woman I coach described it as “death by a thousand cuts.” Another said, “I don’t like who I become when I’m working so hard just to be heard.”

More and more women are starting to question whether leadership, as it currently stands, is worth the trade-offs. Whether the relentless pace, the narrow metrics of success, and the unspoken expectations are aligned with the life they want to live.

Many are concluding they’re not.

THE COST OF EXITING GRACEFULLY

Because women are trained to leave respectfully, to minimise disruption, to protect relationships, to make things easier for those left behind, their departures rarely spark reflection.

People assume they left for balance, or family, or something new. But in fact, they didn’t leave to slow down. They left because they weren’t seen. Or because they were asked to stretch further and give more, without the authority or recognition that would make it sustainable.

And when they leave quietly, the system stays the same.

WHAT COACHING CAN OFFER

Executive coaching creates the space to think clearly and make deliberate choices. Some women use coaching to stay on their own terms, by setting new boundaries, recalibrating how they lead, and reconnecting to their purpose. Others realise it’s time to move on, not in defeat, but with clarity and intention. For them, it’s not just ‘what’s next,’ but ‘what’s true for me now?’

Coaching also helps leaders inside organisations to spot the signs that someone is considering an exit. It helps to surface invisible friction points and patterns that never make it into engagement data or exit interviews.

IF YOU’RE READING THIS AND WONDERING…

Maybe you’ve had that quiet internal conversation too: “Am I just tired, or am I ready for something else? Do I still believe in what I’m building here, or am I just holding it together out of habit? If I took away the guilt, would I choose this for myself?”

These are deep, reflective questions that go right to the centre of how we lead, and who we are while doing so.

We need to talk about the exodus, not in whispers, but out loud. We’re not just losing great women; we’re losing the future they could shape if organisations make room for their full leadership presence, not just their performance.