WHAT LIMITING BELIEFS ARE HOLDING YOU BACK?

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

In a recent coaching session, I worked with a client who had made an important career decision. Together, we explored how certain unconscious, limiting beliefs can silently influence our experiences, behaviors, and perceptions. These beliefs often lurk beneath the surface, shaping our lives without us even realizing it.

What I’ve noticed is that it doesn’t matter whether my client comes from the business or music world; emerging or seasoned professional; CXO or entry-level employee; limiting beliefs can keep us small, stuck, and blocked from living our best lives.

Research by Dr. Carol Dweck, the renowned psychologist who coined the terms "fixed mindset" and "growth mindset", highlights the pervasive nature of limiting beliefs. She describes how beliefs about our abilities can profoundly impact our success. Those with a fixed mindset have the limiting belief that their abilities (or lack of abilities) are innate and unchangeable, leading them to shy away from challenges. Conversely, those with a growth mindset view challenges as opportunities for growth and embrace them wholeheartedly.

Take, for instance, a common limiting belief I’ve seen with clients: expecting other people to react with the same emotions WE would have in a similar situation. The reality is that we’re all wired differently, and we can’t rely on our own emotional wiring and internal perceptions to map how others will react.

Another limiting belief that many of us unconsciously hold is believing that we can somehow control others' thoughts or opinions about us. As I've written in my book, ‘Coaching Life: Navigating Life’s Most Common Coaching Topics’, what others think of you is simply none of your business. Others’ reactions to you – negative or positive – just shows you how others are wired, and what THEY pay attention to. It doesn’t reveal any more to you about who YOU are, your worth, or your value.

If, like many others, this topic of limiting beliefs resonates for you too, here's a powerful four-step coaching practice to tackle limiting beliefs head-on.

Challenge Assumptions with Evidence

1.      Identify the Limiting Belief: Start by pinpointing the belief that is underlying a behavior you wish to change. What limiting belief prevents you from acting they way you want to, or causes you to second-guess yourself? Reflect on past experiences and patterns to uncover the root cause of your limiting belief.

2.      Seek Supporting Evidence: Ask yourself: what evidence can I find that reinforces this belief? Considering both internal experiences and external influences, what evidence or proof confirms this belief to be true? And how do you know they’re true?

3.      What Evidence Proves the Opposite is True: Seek out evidence to challenge or disprove your limiting belief. Challenge yourself to adopt a curious and open-minded approach, striving for as many other perspectives as you can find. The simple act of looking for opposite examples to our limiting beliefs creates relief from the anxiety of harsh self-judgment. (When we go looking for this contrary evidence, we have a pretty good chance of finding it.)

4.      How Would You Behave Differently: Finally, envision how you would behave if this limiting belief were not holding you back, and the opposite were in fact true. Visualize yourself taking bold and confident actions aligned with your true desires and values. Experiment with showing up in this new way, and notice what is more accessible to you as a result – inside of you in the moment; in the room with others; how people respond differently to you; and how you feel differently about yourself, as a result.

Remember, while beliefs shape our reality, they are not immutable truths. By ferreting out our limiting beliefs, one at a time, and then challenging and reshaping them with a growth mindset, we transform our experiences, and have more resources available to realize our true potential.

AFTER THE STORM: INSIGHTS FROM THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD

POLARIZATION, ENTITLEMENT, AND THE POST-COVID MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

I have an insatiable curiosity. I love to immerse myself in human behavior and neuroscience research, books, and podcasts. I try to tie threads of understanding together, to make sense of the world at a deeper level. In fact, this intrinsic longing for sense-making is what drives blog posts like this one. I am curious about the myriad factors that influence our behaviours, and what makes us humans behave the way we do, and… how in the hell we wound up here.

Over these past four years, I have sometimes felt like Dorothy in the tornado scene from The Wizard of Oz, swept up in the swirling funnel cloud of fear and chaos that threatens what I care about most. I know I’m not alone.

The mental health ramifications of the Covid-19 pandemic are profound and well documented. In mid-2020, when I was part of the Covid-19 response team at one of Canada’s crown corporations, I recall reading forecasts from mental health experts warning of an impending ‘mental health pandemic’ that would surely come on the heels of Covid, and that the trauma and isolation inflicted by this global crisis would create mental health challenges the likes of which we’ve never seen. Fast forward four years, and we find ourselves here, amidst a relentless upsurge in entitlement, polarization, depression, anxiety, and societal upheaval.

We can’t claim to be surprised. They warned us it was coming.

We are collectively navigating this tumultuous aftermath, often reacting instinctively, without fully understanding the underlying forces driving our restlessness, fear, suspicion, or entitled behaviour. We’re all walking this metaphorical yellow brick road, trying to figure out how we as individuals, and as a society, can get back home to the familiarity and comfort of our ‘normal’ lives.

The ferocity of the Covid-19 tornado, swirling with ideological polarization, has torn a swath of devastation through the fabric of our society. While some of our well-worn societal structures were already decayed and better off levelled to the ground – the notion that 'workers need to be physically present in an office to be productive', for example – countless facets of our society now resemble battlegrounds torn up by irreconcilable ideological divides. It's as if the tornado has knocked down some of our pillars of reason and cooperation, leaving us standing in the rubble, on separate islands.

The polarization that has gripped us as a society is fueled by misunderstanding and a rapid rise in ideological divides. Some estimates I’ve read stated that it’ll likely be ten years before the effects of this crisis level out. In this heightened state, we tend to dismiss people and ideas that don’t align with ours, and gravitate toward like-minded people, as a defense mechanism. It just feels safer, and validating, especially in a world where so little feels safe or assured.

And the media – both social and traditional – play a significant role in the storm. We see a proliferation of polarizing platforms who exploit and exacerbate this division, while balanced news outlets struggle with shrinking budgets, resources, and workforces. Social media platforms in particular are a breeding grounds for conflict, with blame and misinformation spreading faster than the Wicked Witch’s flying monkeys.

And behind the proverbial curtain, politicians and world leaders furiously spin dials and flip switches in response. Some manipulate the levers of power to exploit polarization for their own political and personal gains, while others genuinely try to create a sense of normalcy for their people. What the heck is ‘normal’ now, anyway?

Polarization shows up in different ways. In some countries, political parties are so polarized that violence and vitriol between people with different alliances and opinions is commonplace. At work, we see employees blaming leaders; protesters blaming police; and even within our own families, there are things we’re no longer able to discuss without spitting venom all over each other. You may have noticed that people seem to be on high alert more than ever before, constantly on the lookout for how they’ve been victimized. And when they find something, whether warranted or not, it becomes an opportunity to unleash righteous indignation and fury. Toto, we’re definitely not in Kansas, anymore.

Meanwhile, a sense of entitlement seems to have emerged as a pervasive force, with some individuals and groups laying claim to privileges previously unimagined in the pre-Covid era – again, ‘working from home’ springs to mind, albeit from the perspective of some employees demanding fully remote work arrangements. Entitlement, driven by a sense of injustice and fear, has only deepened our divisions.

Yet, amidst this cacophony of political rhetoric and societal discord, a glimmer of hope emerges. Beneath the surface, there is a growing desire to dispel misunderstandings and foster dialogue, to help us realize that, like the Scarecrow who longs for a brain, we can challenge our unconscious beliefs, and make informed decisions. As Maya Angelou famously wrote, “when we know better, we do better.”

And like the Tin Man who longs for a heart, we yearn for compassion in a world gripped by fear. Despite pervasive divisions and animosity, a collective human heart beats within us, craving connection and understanding. Through empathy, patience, curiosity, and kindness, we can find ways to melt the icy barriers of polarization and build bridges of understanding.

And, like the Cowardly Lion in our story, we seek courage in the face of adversity – not just for the physical threat posed by the Covid virus, but courage to navigate the mental health fallout in its wake. Like the Cowardly Lion finding his roar, we too can summon the courage to confront the storm head-on.

By standing up to our fears, challenging assumptions, growing our emotional intelligence, bravely and compassionately challenging limiting beliefs, and embracing dialogue and compromise, we will not only weather this current storm; we will emerge stronger from it.

Let’s start conversations at the dinner table. Let’s encourage teachers and coaches to help our kids understand the emotional reactions they’re experiencing. Let’s make it safe for people to explore beliefs or opinions that are different than our own. And let’s help each other get curious about what nuggets of truth these differing perspectives are built upon.

Just like Dorothy’s quest to find her way home, amid the longing for a return to a sense of stability and normalcy, what we’re seeking may lie inside of us, not outside.  

There’s no place like home.

There’s no place like home.

There’s no place like home.

FOREBODING JOY

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

Have you ever experienced a moment in time when you are filled with joy, and then all of a sudden, you are overcome by a sense of impending doom as a result? It’s almost as if we expect to have to pay a toll for the good thing that’s happening to us.

This is called ‘foreboding joy’, and it may sound a bit paradoxical at first, but understanding this emotion can be a game-changer in life and leadership.

So, what exactly is foreboding joy? Well, it’s a complex emotion that often leaves us feeling torn between the desire to fully embrace the happiness in a specific moment, and the fear of something bad happening as a result. In fact, joy our most vulnerable human emotion! And when we can no longer tolerate the vulnerability that joy brings us, it becomes foreboding.

At its core, foreboding joy is rooted in this vulnerability – that innate human experience of exposing ourselves to the unknown, of opening our hearts to the possibility of both joy and discomfort. Brené Brown, a leading researcher in the field of vulnerability, describes it as the birthplace of courage, compassion, and connection. Yet, when we encounter moments of pure joy, our aversion to feeling vulnerable kicks in, which only intensifies a feeling of vulnerability, which then triggers a sense of foreboding that feels threatening and can overwhelm us. And it often happens in a split second, catching us unaware or unprepared.

So, how do we navigate this delicate dance between joy and fear? One of the most effective tools I’ve seen is mindfulness – the practice of being fully present and engaged in the moment. When we experience foreboding joy, our minds tend to spiral into thoughts of what could go wrong, or what will inevitably come along and take this delicious joy away.

Mindfulness offers us an anchor; a way to ground ourselves in the here and now. By tuning into our senses, our breath, and our experience of the moment, we can quiet the anxious whispers of fear and fully immerse ourselves in the richness of joy.

But mindfulness is just the beginning. To truly navigate foreboding joy, we must also cultivate self-compassion, the ability to feel gratitude within our joy, and discernment to helps us challenge the disaster-izing that commonly accompanies foreboding joy.

Too often, we berate ourselves for feeling fearful or anxious, judging our emotions as weaknesses to be overcome. Yet, true resilience lies in embracing our humanity – in recognizing that it's okay to feel vulnerable, even in moments of joy or triumph. When we treat ourselves with kindness and understanding, we create a space for healing and growth, allowing ourselves to move through this fear with courage and grace. We also create the ability to deepen the experience of our joy-filled moments, as a result.

As we journey deeper into the heart of foreboding joy, self-reflection becomes our compass. When we feel the familiar tug of vulnerability, we can pause and ask ourselves these powerful questions to help us stay connected to our joy:

• What am I most grateful for in this moment of joy? What else? And what else?

• How might you challenge your fear with evidence that proves the opposite is actually true?

• What does my fear tell me about how meaningful this is to me?

By exploring these questions with curiosity and openness, we unearth hidden treasures of resilience and strength, reclaiming our power to fully embrace life's joyful moments.

But perhaps the most profound lesson of foreboding joy is this: joy is a spontaneous eruption of intoxicating emotion. In a world filled with uncertainty and unpredictability, we can’t control what the future holds. We can’t orchestrate it to happen when we want (or need) it most. What we can control is how we choose to show up in our present moments – with courage, with compassion, and with an unwavering commitment to living life authentically.

So, the next time you find yourself suppressing joy, as a ‘hedge’ technique, or hesitate to fully embrace a joyful moment, remember this: recognizing, naming, and understanding this emotion as ‘foreboding joy’ is the first step towards overcoming it. It's about acknowledging that it's okay to feel joy… simply as it is… without the fear of it costing us something precious in return. You don't need to earn your joyful moments or prove your worthiness of them – joy is your birthright as a human being! Embrace your vulnerability and lean into your joy with abandon. Then see what you notice about how that changes your experience of it.

In the end, it's not the absence of fear that defines us, but our willingness to dance with it – to embrace the full spectrum of our human emotion and emerge stronger, wiser, and more alive than ever before. So, the next time you notice the feeling of foreboding emerging through your joy, take a deep breath, and remember this: you deserve to live a life of happiness and fulfillment – without the need to pay a toll for your joy.

WHAT’S HIDING UNDER YOUR WATER LINE?

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

Have you ever noticed how many iceberg models there are? We see them everywhere: training videos, corporate strategy, technology rollouts; just take a scroll through LinkedIn, and you’ll see what I mean! It's like the Swiss Army knife of metaphors (ah, a metaphor about a metaphors – how meta!)

But amidst the sea of diverse interpretations and representations, you may notice one similar principle that connects all iceberg models:

What we see on the surface is just a fraction of what's truly available to us if we get curious!

Leadership can sometimes feel like we’re navigating the ocean. It demands a keen understanding of the prevailing winds, knowledge of ocean currents, and awareness of the topography and hidden formations underwater.

Think about it—every decision we make, every action we take, and every outcome we achieve, has been influenced by what’s typically under the water line, hidden from awareness. In a similar way, unless we intentionally go exploring, we’re not usually aware of the deeper aspects below the water line that are driving our behaviours above it; things like a limiting belief, a fixed mindset, or a past challenge that feels similar.

We each have our own personal version of an iceberg model, with easy and frequent access to what’s within our awareness above our water line. But often, we are unaware of what’s below it, unconsciously influencing us, until when we notice discomfort, or get feedback from our partners, friends, leader, peers, or employees about our actions or behaviours.

As leaders, we also need to leverage this iceberg awareness with our employees. Taking a tandem dive below the water line with each person on your team can help them uncover the beliefs, values, and emotions that shape their behaviors and outcomes. If you're not paying attention to what's going on below the water line, you're missing out on some significant insights that could help you and your employees build self-awareness, resilience, trust, and confidence. The bonus prize in diving below the surface together is that it also builds vulnerability-based trust between you and your people.

Leaders who grasp the significance of delving beneath the surface (their own, and alongside their employees) are better equipped to navigate the turbulent waters of organizational dynamics. They recognize that beneath every action, decision, and outcome lies a complex interplay of beliefs, values, and emotions—elements that shape behaviors and drive results.

But here's the thing: in our fast-paced world, where time is a precious commodity and speed often trumps everything else, many leaders find themselves skimming the surface, hesitant to delve into the depths below, where a richness of insights awaits exploration.

But the ability to dive deeper, occasionally hopping into their submarine to do a deep dive below what’s known, obvious, or common is one of the markers of a high-performing leader.

Imagine you're dealing with a team conflict. On the surface, it may show up as a clash of personalities or conflicting agendas. But if you dig a little deeper, you might uncover some juicy nuggets — like unresolved tensions, unmet needs, or divergent values—that are fuelling the discord. And here's the kicker: if you ignore what's going on beneath the surface, you're not only missing out on valuable insights, but the situation will only get worse.

Take a moment to reflect on a leadership challenge that you're facing right now. Here are three questions to help you explore the situation more deeply:

1. How could taking a deep dive, beneath the surface information you currently have, help you better understand what's really happening?

2. Who do you need to have a deeper conversation with?

3. How will you create a sense of safety during these deeper conversations, so that people can open up without fear of judgment?

The bottom line: what you see is just the tip of the iceberg. By embracing the depths, we can become better leaders, colleagues, friends, parents, and better humans overall.

MASTER YOUR CAREER SEARCH WITH 8 POWERFUL QUESTIONS

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

In the fast-paced and competitive landscape of the current job market, standing out from the crowd is crucial. Here’s a powerful coaching practice that can give your career search the edge it needs.

Let’s explore career searching from four different perspectives, each represented by the Integral Theory quadrants. Grab your pen and journal, and spend some quality time with yourself, reflecting on the following powerful questions, as you embark on a journey of self-discovery and strategic planning.

VALUES-DRIVEN PURPOSE

This first quadrant focuses on what’s ‘inside you’: your sense of purpose, the values that you hold firmly, and your unique perspective on yourself and the world around you. Delving into your internal values and understanding the driving forces behind your career aspirations can provide a solid foundation. By aligning your career goals with your values, you'll not only find more fulfillment, but you’ll also present a genuine and authentic version of yourself to potential employers. From this values perspective, take a moment to ponder:

1. What personal core values drive my career aspirations?

2. What specifically draws me to a target role or company?

PEOPLE & RELATIONSHIPS

Building meaningful connections is a key aspect of any successful career search. Identifying and overcoming barriers to networking while strategically leveraging your existing support network can open doors to opportunities you may not have considered. With the relationships perspective in mind, answer these thought-provoking questions:

1. What limiting beliefs, opinions, or feelings about networking can typically hold me back from reaching out to others?

2. How might I leverage my biggest fans differently in my job search?

SYSTEMS & DETAILS

Having an efficient, organized process, an effective strategy, and tools to measure progress are all essential components of a successful career search. Assessing and adapting your approach based on measurable metrics can enhance your effectiveness, ensuring that your efforts yield tangible results. thinking about your formal and informal systems, reflect on:

1. What do I need to adapt to be more efficient, targeted, or proactive in my networking, applications, and follow-ups?

2. How will I measure the effectiveness of my career efforts?

ACTIONS & DOING

Finally, let's explore the 'Action' quadrant. Setting clear goals and taking actionable steps is the cornerstone of any successful career journey. By breaking down your goals into manageable actions and timelines, you'll create a roadmap for success and maintain momentum throughout your search. Reflect on your action orientation, and how you’re getting into action, with these questions:

1. What career goals and targets have you set for yourself?

2. What specific actions do you need to take today? This week? This month?

Exploring these eight reflection questions provides a holistic approach to your career search, helping you be more able to articulate your values, build relationships, create effective systems, and take strategic actions.

Wishing you great success in your career search – may your path be fulfilling and prosperous!

LEADERSHIP STRATEGIES FOR MULTI-GENERATIONS

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

In this article, we’ll explore leading and managing individuals from various generations, each with unique strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and preferences. Great leadership recognizes and leverages the uniqueness that each generation brings to the workplace, and also acknowledges that each employee has a unique personality that is also a factor in how to lead them most effectively.

UNDERSTANDING EMPLOYEES BY GENERATION

BABY BOOMERS (1946-1964)

Baby Boomers are valuable assets to their organizations, characterized by unparalleled loyalty and dedication. Their extensive tenure in the workforce equips them with a wealth of institutional knowledge, making them indispensable contributors. Boomers thrive when they have a clear understanding of their roles and feel their opinions are valued by both managers and peers, resulting in heightened engagement.

 Despite their significant institutional knowledge, tenure alone does not guarantee peak performance. Constructive feedback becomes pivotal in refining their contributions. When providing feedback to Baby Boomers, consider their preference for control. Offering transparent feedback and practical tools for improvement empowers them to feel more able to address the identified areas. Boomers exhibit a goal-oriented mindset, making coaching conversations more effective when centered around specific goals or objectives. Although they may avoid conflict, positioning feedback as an avenue for personal growth ensures a positive reception.

 Occasionally, feedback may address a Baby Boomer's critical attitude towards younger colleagues, as some may perceive Millennials or Gen Zs as entitled and unwilling to put in hard work. Managers, particularly Millennials in leadership roles, should acknowledge Boomers' experience at the outset of coaching conversations, to help build trust.

 Boomers prefer regular and conventional feedback methods, such as routine performance reviews. In the absence of feedback, they will rely on their interpretation of behavioral cues, so ensure your communications are timely.

 Positive feedback resonates profoundly with this generation, and whenever possible, public acknowledgment of achievements enhances their sense of value and contribution.

 Leaders managing Baby Boomers can tap into their strong work ethic and value for loyalty. Recognizing their experience and contributions over the years is crucial. Acknowledging their desire for job security, leaders can offer stability and emphasize the long-term impact of their work. Tools like in-person training sessions and face-to-face communication can be effective, as Baby Boomers often prefer direct interaction.

 SUMMARY: BABY BOOMERS

• STRENGTHS: Team-oriented, service-driven, goal-focused.

• WEAKNESSES: Resistance to feedback, potential challenge adapting to rapid change.

• MOTIVATION CHARACTERISTICS: Desire for personal fulfillment, value collaboration.

• FEEDBACK PREFERENCES: Regular and constructive feedback, recognition of achievements.

GENERATION X (1965 -1980)

An informal managerial style resonates well with Gen Xers. This generation values learning and skill development, expecting employers to provide resources and hands-on learning experiences with immediate feedback and coaching. When you’re coaching Gen Xers, leverage their desire for skill enhancement as a motivating factor.

 Feedback is most effective when delivered in a casual work environment, emphasizing teamwork and solidarity, and recognizing their commitment to their profession and the pursuit of opportunities that enhance essential skills for career advancement.

 Leaders of Generation X employees should appreciate their independence and resourcefulness. Managers should break down long-term goals into manageable targets, ensuring progress towards objectives and a sense of accomplishment. Using technology (eg: online collaboration tools) aligns with their tech-savvy nature. Encourage a collaborative and inclusive work culture and demonstrate how you value their input and expertise.

 Recognizing the equality of all team members is crucial when providing feedback, considering their upbringing in self-reliant environments where they learned to be active participants in discussions from an early age.

 Gen Xers often bring awareness of unique skills to the team and may need coaching to appreciate the expertise of their colleagues fully. Acknowledging these skills fosters receptivity to further learning and collaboration.

 You can help them define a clear career path and offer insights about available support offered by your organization to help them meet their career goals. Regular teaching and coaching sessions are essential, aligning with Gen Xers' commitment to their professions and their pursuit of continuous skill development.

SUMMARY: GENERATION X

• STRENGTHS: Adaptability, independence, entrepreneurial mindset.

• WEAKNESSES: Skepticism, potential for work-life balance struggles.

• MOTIVATION CHARACTERISTICS: Appreciation for autonomy, results driven.

• FEEDBACK PREFERENCES: Clear and concise feedback, opportunities for skill development.

MILLENNIALS (1981-1996)

Leadership for Millennials involves fostering a sense of purpose and social responsibility. Leaders can inspire Millennials by aligning organizational goals with a broader societal impact, emphasizing the value their work brings to the world.

 Millennials place a high value on continuous feedback in the workplace, seeking assurance that their contributions are appreciated. Providing regular feedback and recognition aligns with their desire for instant gratification and personal development.

 Unlike previous generations, Millennials often find it challenging to handle negative criticism due to their upbringing in positive and supportive environments. While others may have grown up in a culture of negative reinforcement, Millennials expect a more positive and respectful approach to feedback.

 Adopting a coaching approach is effective when providing corrective feedback to Millennials. This approach aligns with thier desire for respectful language while offering a constructive path for performance improvement. Millennials appreciate leadership who play the role of a coach, mentor, and teacher, fostering a positive and developmental mindset.

 Respect Millennials' preference for constructive language and try to avoid unnecessary confrontation and harsh criticism. Respectfully address and issues, provide guidance on the correct approach, and motivate them toward continual improvement.

 Effectively managing Millennials involves connecting to their purpose and positioning corrective feedback as an investment in their personal and career development goals, resulting in positive reactions and improved performance.

  SUMMARY: MILLENIALS

• STRENGTHS: Tech-savvy, optimistic, collaborative.

• WEAKNESSES: Impatience, potential for job-hopping if unfulfilled.

• MOTIVATION CHARACTERISTICS: Thrive on innovation, value work with a purpose.

• FEEDBACK PREFERENCES: Regular feedback, mentorship, and opportunities for continuous learning.

GENERATION Z (1997 and later)

As the newest demographic entering the workforce, Generation Z brings unique qualities that demand a fresh perspective from their older counterparts. Known for their assertiveness and confidence, their inclination to be blunt can be misinterpreted. Gen Z individuals are hard workers who may challenge their supervisors without intending disrespect.

 Managing Generation Z employees requires adaptability and a focus on innovation. Leaders should leverage technology in communication and task management. Encouraging creativity and providing opportunities for skill development are vital for this generation. Recognizing their entrepreneurial spirit and desire for autonomy, offering project-based assignments and opportunities to take the lead can inspire and drive employee engagement.

 Despite their strong connection to mobile devices, Gen Z thrives on communication, making feedback crucial. Studies indicate that 60% of Gen Z workers desire multiple check-ins from their managers weekly, with 40% preferring daily interactions. While they appreciate digital communication, the frequency of check-ins poses a challenge for some managers. Responding promptly is essential, as Gen Z seeks instantaneous feedback, both positive and constructive. Regular check-ins and feedback sessions using digital platforms can ensure effective communication.

 Creating a diverse and inclusive workplace resonates well with Generation Z, and they appreciate a workplace that values social and environmental responsibility.

 To effectively provide feedback to Gen Z employees, a coaching management style proves most beneficial. This approach encourages self-reflection and improvement, posing questions like, "What challenges are you facing?" and "How can I help you?" Managers can enhance communication by practicing active listening, ensuring that their feedback is well-understood. Even when delivering disciplinary feedback, highlighting the employee's positive contributions is essential.

SUMMARY: GENERATION Z

• STRENGTHS: Tech-native, entrepreneurial, socially conscious.

• WEAKNESSES: Potential for shorter attention spans, reliance on digital communication.

• MOTIVATION CHARACTERISTICS: Desire for meaningful work, value diversity and inclusion.

• FEEDBACK PREFERENCES: Instant and digital feedback, mentorship, and collaborative platforms.

LEADERSHIP STRATEGIES

• Adaptive Leadership: Tailor your leadership style to meet the needs of each generation. Recognize and appreciate diverse working styles, fostering an inclusive and adaptable environment. Be careful of any generational biases that may be influencing your perception of performance (negatively AND positively).

• Effective Communication: Recognize the importance of communication and tailor your approach accordingly. Acknowledge that Boomers may prefer a more formal style, while Millennials and Generation Z thrive in casual, collaborative settings. Utilize diverse communication channels to accommodate generational preferences and ensure team-wide communications include information that will resonate with each generation.

• Recognition and Feedback: Acknowledge and celebrate achievements across generations. Provide constructive feedback in a manner that aligns with individual preferences. Timely, clear, and supportive feedback ensures a positive and growth-oriented atmosphere.

• Mentorship Programs: Implement ‘mutual mentorship’ initiatives that encourage cross-generational collaboration. Pairing experienced Baby Boomers and Gen Xers with tech-savvy Millennials and Generation Z individuals can create a mutually beneficial learning environment that benefits the individuals, the team performance, and the organization as a whole.

• Flexible Work Policies: Recognize the diverse work-life balance needs among different generations. Offer flexible work arrangements and benefits to accommodate varying lifestyles and preferences, ensuring a more inclusive and supportive workplace.

• Invest in Professional Development: Invest in continuous learning opportunities. Recognize that Generation X may value skill-building courses, Millennials may be seeking opportunities for career advancement, and Generation Z may prioritize avenues for social impact. Tailor professional development initiatives to meet the diverse needs of each generation.

Regardless of generational differences, every employee desires and deserves feedback to facilitate learning, growth, and a sense of value. Successfully leading and managing a multi-generational workforce requires a nuanced understanding of the strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and preferences of each generation. By embracing adaptability, effective communication, and tailored leadership strategies, leaders can foster a collaborative and inclusive environment that leverages every individual’s potential, regardless of their generation.

LEADERSHIP STYLES

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com 

 Here are descriptions for six distinct leadership styles that you have likely seen in action. Some of these styles are best practices, and some should die off as the dinosaurs they are. Leaders will likely toggle between these seven styles over their careers, depending on the situation. As you read the descriptions, see if any names come to mind, based on your own career.

ALL STICK, NO CARROT

This is a short-horizon leadership style with the primary objective of achieving immediate compliance. This leader gives directives rather than direction, by telling employees what to do and how to do it. They expect immediate, unquestioning compliance, and micro-manage tightly to maintain control. This style is ideal for the battalion commander under siege in a military conflict, who must ensure that every soldier comes home alive. Of course, business challenges are rarely life-and-death, but some leaders still believe this is what good leadership looks like. Their feedback is corrective, often brutal, with little recognition of what employees do right, and they wield threats of negative consequences for non-compliance. Turnover is typically high as employees endure this leader only until they can get the hell out. And that hits the bottom line with higher recruitment and training costs.

VISION & STANDARDS

This style of leadership provides inspirational long-horizon vision and inspires employees by connecting them with the ‘why’ behind that vision. Vision and Standards leaders chart the course and are usually powerful storytellers whose passion for their vision is contagious. They invite employees to share their perspective on the vision and they set clear standards of performance for how their organization will move forward towards their visionary objectives. Vision and Standards leaders use a balance of positive and constructive feedback as a motivation tool. Employees rarely leave leaders who can inspire them.

ALL CARROT, NO STICK

This leadership style seeks harmony on the team and is focused on building and recognizing positive interactions. These leaders place a lot of importance on employees’ personal needs, providing recognition, and boosting employee morale. While that sounds great on the surface, beware of the downside: these leaders sometimes settle for ‘adequate’ performance because they avoid providing corrective feedback that could help employees grow and propel the business towards their goals faster. Not only does it promote artificial harmony, but by avoiding productive conflict, the team misses out on diverse thinking, challenging assumptions, building conflict resolution skills, and creating authentic team cohesion. Employees leave this type of leader not because they’re being mistreated, but because they perceive their leader is not investing in their own growth and development or not treating everyone fairly because they are too soft on nonperforming employees.

TASK MASTER

This leadership style has a task-focused short-term horizon, with the goal of getting the maximum amount done, and done perfectly. There are similarities with the ‘All Stick No Carrot’ type, but the difference is that Task Masters require employees to spend significant time and resources to provide a rationale every step of the way, and they withdraw responsibility and support when employees fail to meet their exacting standards. This leader enjoys leading by example – but not in a good way: they set their own bar unreasonably high, and then admonish their employees for ‘poor performance’. They avoid delegation, often leaping in to rescue a project or situation with detailed task-based instructions. The Task Master leader typically has little empathy and will only focus on collaborating at the task level, where they work in the weeds, rather than on business strategy and values. This leadership style can create high absenteeism, continuous employee turnover, burn-out, and medical stress leaves.

M.I.A.

This ‘missing-in-action’ leadership style is so hands-off that they become virtually invisible to their employees. Some M.I.A. leaders prefer to spend their time on their own pet projects; others are so focused on themselves that they spend most of their time positioning themselves with their peers and leaders, to the detriment of their teams; still others are afraid to be perceived as directive or micromanaging, preferring to let their employees lead. This style of leadership can be a great growth opportunity for the right employee to lead an initiative, but the direction and wellbeing of an entire team requires leadership presence. In all three of these scenarios, they are abdicating their leadership responsibilities for oversight of their teams in some way. The M.I.A leadership style often creates confusion, silos, lack of collaboration, overlaps and conflict, capacity challenges, and disengagement.

LEADER-COACH

The goal of this ‘gold standard’ long-term leadership style is the growth and professional development of employees and peers. Leader-Coaches help grow employees’ awareness of their unique strengths and limiting weaknesses, and work with them to establish long-term developmental goals. They seek the participation of their people in the process of leadership by trusting their employees to interpret and develop appropriate direction – both for themselves and for the organization – and they welcome diverse perspectives in decision-making. They seek commitment and create new, innovative ideas. They also look for opportunities to achieve alignment, as they listen to concerns and feedback from employees. By focusing on the holistic growth of the individual human (note I didn’t say ‘worker’), they provide ongoing feedback and support to help their employees be all they can be. They may even loosen current performance standards to help employees develop into a new role (and sometimes that new role is not even on their own team), because it’s the best thing for the employee. For them, the tradeoff is worth it. The Leader-Coach style creates empowerment, transparency, engagement, productivity, knowledge-sharing, and the space for employees to show up authentically. Sometimes, the downside is slower outputs while employees are learning, but the return on that investment is exponential.

PRACTICE: LEADERSHIP STYLE REFLECTION

1. Based on the descriptions above, which leadership style is your ‘center of gravity’; your go-to preferred style? If you typically toggle between two, list them both.

2. How does your predominant style affect your employees’ experience of your leadership? Answer this question from each individual employee’s point of view.

3. Employees typically have three questions on their minds when meeting with their leader: 1) do you care about me? 2) can you help me? and 3) can I trust you? How might your employees evaluate you on these three aspects?

4. What other styles might you experiment with to grow as a leader and help your team achieve success, and what styles might you dial down as you experiment?

5. How will you track, reflect on, and measure your progress on these experiments?

If you’re curious to explore more about your leadership style, contact me for a free coaching consultation. I’d love to help you grow your leadership skills.

www.leslierohonczy.com | 613-863-8347 | leslierohonczy@live.com

WHAT’S YOUR IMPOSTER RESPONSE?

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

Are you wrestling with imposter ‘syndrome’? Many of us grapple with self-inflicted shame, feeling like frauds and fearing that someone will eventually stumble upon our terrible secret: “I don’t know what I’m doing; I don’t deserve to be here; and it’s just a matter of time before I get found out!”  We explain away our accomplishments as the result of serendipitous luck, or clever trickery, and believe that eventually we will be exposed when someone realizes that we don’t have a hot clue what we’re doing. It often hits people that outwardly look like they have it all going on: high achieving, academically accomplished bright lights who secretly doubt their own abilities despite obvious evidence to the contrary, and who instead believe they are inadequate, incompetent, flawed, failures. Roughly 85% of working adults admit to feeling inadequate or incompetent at work, and almost 70% don't feel they deserve their current success. Of these, one in four said they experience these feelings often, or all the time.

 When clients arrive with a self-diagnosis of imposter ‘syndrome’, I prefer to reframe it as an imposter ‘response’ to what they’re experiencing (it should never have been pathologized as a clinical diagnosis in the first place). Imposter response can manifest differently depending on a person’s background, personality, life experience and circumstances, but the common denominator is the fear of being ‘found out’. The imposter response is related to our inner critics: while our inner critic is focused on self-judgment, our imposter response is preoccupied with what to do about it to avoid shame. And in working with hundreds of individuals over the years, I’m convinced that culturally, we are experiencing epidemic proportions of imposter response at this time in our modern world.

 Here are five imposter response types, based loosely on the work of Dr. Valerie Young. Notice the sense of striving that is the common thread in each of them and how they all ultimately create shame (although what they strive for is different).

THE SILVER MEDALIST

I’ve called this the silver medalist, rather than gold, because winning a silver medal feels like profound inadequacy. The silver medalist has lost their event to the gold medalist – it feels worse than the bronze medalist, who had to win their competition to reach the podium. The feeling of failure attached to this imposter response is palpable. Silver Medalists strive for perfection and focus on ‘how’ they’re getting things done. They will set excessively ambitious goals for themselves, and then experience unbearable self-doubt and anxiety; often they will compensate by over-controlling, becoming impatient, and feeling that no one else is capable. Work must be done perfectly every time, and they take no joy in their success, feeling like they could always have done a better job. These are the micromanagers who won’t delegate, and if they do, they will be unsatisfied with the result from others. One tiny mistake in an otherwise excellent performance feels like failure, which triggers shame.

THE SUPERHERO

If we are convinced that we’re a phony going undetected among authentic colleagues, we protect our dirty little secret by striving to work harder than everyone else around us. This ‘superhero’ type usually has consequences on physical and mental health and can impact relationships. Superheroes are typically workaholics who rarely find time for self-care, hobbies, or relaxation. They don’t feel worthy of their titles so must prove their worth through acts of continuous striving, rather than from the output of the work itself. Their focus is on measuring their worth by how many things they can juggle and do well. When they miss the unrealistically high mark, they feel shame for not being capable of perfectly handling everything.

THE VIRTUOSO

The belief that they need to be a natural born genius causes this type to harshly judge how quickly and easily they perform, without considering how much effort or expertise is truly needed to excel in an area. If Virtuosos take ‘too long’ to pick up a new skill, they feel ashamed. They combine unreasonable expectations with harsh self-judgement about the need to perform perfectly right away. The Virtuoso is an action-oriented perfectionist that focuses on how quickly and easily something gets accomplished. If they struggle to ramp up or learn a new skill and can’t create a masterpiece right away, they equate that to failure, which triggers shame.

THE SOLOIST

Some people want to be perceived as independent and hold the belief that asking others for help exposes them as frauds. Soloists carry a very heavy load because they believe that they must prove their worth, that it’s all up to them, that no one else is going to come and rescue them, so they must do for themselves. They often refuse help, and if they end up requiring assistance from someone else, they feel diminished as a result. To feel accomplished, the Soloist must do it alone; to need help is to be a failure, which evokes shame.

THE GURU

Gurus measure their competence by what they know, and how well they can do something. They believe they can never know enough information, and are afraid of being perceived as inexperienced, ill-informed, unaware, or downright wrong. Their constant thirst for more training, certification or knowledge prevents them from really experiencing the weight of their expertise fully. Their focus is on what they can do, and how much they know. When Gurus can’t meet the unattainable expectation to know absolutely everything, they feel like failures, which triggers shame.

HOW TO QUIET YOUR IMPOSTER RESPONSE

If you’ve experienced imposter response, you probably chalked your success up to external influences, chance, charisma, connections, dumb luck, or your finely-honed ability to skate your way through life. But the imposter’s true dragon slayer lies within us, not outside of ourselves. Here are a few ideas you can experiment with.

• Accept that you in fact are an imposter at various times in your life – and that’s normal. We all are, in some way. But if we let our imposter drive this bus, it will rob us of the chance to really feel our accomplishment.

• At the root of the imposter response is an inability to internalize success (‘thanks, but I just got lucky’; ‘thanks, but it’s not perfect’; ‘thanks, but I got it at a thrift shop’). It’s often lauded as humility (however false it may be). Owning our victories takes authenticity and personal integrity.

• Some people feel the need to seek validation from others, even clinging to backhanded compliments or slightly positive feedback. Allow yourself to feel great when someone pays you a compliment, but don’t rely on external validation as the measure of your self-worth.

• Sometimes we can fall into the trap of setting the bar low, or even failing intentionally. Experiment with embracing the challenge – all in. If you succeed, you will have internalized it as a personal win. And if you don’t, it’s an opportunity to acknowledge your bravery in daring to try.

• Some who struggle with their impostors become paralyzed in thought about what they want to do, waiting until they feel more ‘ready’. What might you have to loosen your grip on, to allow yourself to experiment?

The more we can get into motion and take specific actions that move us towards our goals, the less of a hold our imposter will have on us. In fact, authenticity is the Imposter’s kryptonite. When we decide that we will live our authentic truth every day, we align our thoughts and behaviors with our values, creating a sense of true freedom to be exactly who we are meant to be.

If you’re curious to explore how your imposter response may be getting in your way, contact me for a free coaching consultation. I’d love to help you tame your imposter response and build greater confidence, self-awareness, and strategies for success.

 LESLIE ROHONCZY | Executive Coach (PCC), Integral Master Coach™ (IMC)

613-863-8347 | LESLIEROHONCZY@LIVE.COM | WWW.LESLIEROHONCZY.COM

PERSONAL MOTIVATION FOR LEADERSHIP

by Leslie Rohonczy, Executive Coach, IMC, PCC | ©2024 | www.leslierohonczy.com

PRACTICE OBJECTIVE

•To explore your personal motivation for seeking a leadership position;

•To acknowledge and grow awareness of the strengths and limitations these motivations may represent in this next career move.

OVERVIEW

Why do you want this leadership role? You may be considering a career move from individual contribution into a leadership role. Or you may already be a leader who wants to advance to the next level of leadership in your career. You have the ambition and drive but may not be aware of what’s driving this striving. It may be helpful to understand your motivations at a deeper level.

When asked why they want to become a leader (or VP, executive, or board member), most people give one of two standard answers: “I want to make a difference’ or, ‘I want to help people grow and succeed’. Both of these are honorable and admirable intentions, of course. And they’re also table stakes: the ‘must-have’ essentials of leadership. But what about YOU? What is it that you want for yourself from this new leadership role? It’s equally important to know your own personal motivations before you take on a leadership role.

INSTRUCTIONS

This coaching practice will help you understand the underlying motivations, and what might help you be successful at that new level. Grab your journal and complete the following statements – but

here’s the catch: you must answer them from your OWN perspective, NOT on behalf of someone else.

“When I’m a leader…  I’ll feel…

  I’ll be…

  I’ll get…

  I’ll know…

  I’ll believe…

  I’ll do…

  I’ll see myself…

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. What theme(s) do you notice about your statements?

2. How might each theme show up in you as you strive for this leadership role (how they might support you, or how they may get in your way)?

3. What will you adjust in order to be successful in this new role (eg: grow EQ awareness, build specific skills, dial up or down certain behaviours, challenge limiting beliefs)?

COACHING LIFE PLAYLISTS

COACHING LIFE: PLAYLISTS

SELF-AWARENESS Playlist

GOAL ATTAINMENT Playlist

HUMAN CONNECTION Playlist